To Wed or Not to Wed| Questions About Marriage

Committing yourself to anything is hard. But committing yourself to someone for a lifetime takes a lot of effort not only on your side but on the other party as well.

Today's post is inspired by the post of @Yen and @Eybyoung

Why did you decide to get married?

I am waiting for the right time to propose back then, though we are ready emotionally and spiritually finances wise we are not. We knew each other since 2012 but got into a romantic relationship in 2015. We are not getting any younger and as we talked about having our own family etc. we cannot start it yet because we are not yet married.

Both of us are tied to our family, she is the breadwinner that handles the majority of bills in her household, and I am someone who supports the family too on the sidelines. I think one of the reasons why I pursue the plan of getting married is because her siblings already finished studying and they can go ahead and find work already.

What did you think when you first saw him/her?

There's no such thing as sparks, slow motion, and butterflies. I just saw her normally but as we started talking she has the qualities that I am looking for in a woman.

• God-fearing and loving Jesus

• Family-oriented

• Have long black hair.

• Can sing pretty well.

The first 2 are my non-negotiables and the last 2 are optional. Too bad that she is in a long-term relationship at that time so I just treated her as a friend/ best friend during those times. I think it helped us in a way as when we are navigating each other's take in life when we are dating after a few years the transition was quite easy. We have some common traits and some extreme differences such as coldness and her warmth.

When did you realize that you are in love?

It just happens I guess, I told myself in our conversations that if I will be opening my heart once again and will try to pursue someone it will be her. At that time, her long-term relationship ended so I am free to court her. I just waited for her to move on before I lay down my intentions. Since we are officemates and somehow seatmates it was easy for her to notice that I am avoiding her welp, absence makes the heart grow to ponder perhaps?

What do you have now that you didn't have before you met?

Our baby? Kidding aside it is me being mature and accepting the emotions that I have. Some may say that I am a robot back then as I am not that expressive, I also didn't cry at our wedding btw and I think the time that I cried was when the pandemic started and the birth of our baby.

I learned to be reliant on other people and to say I need help. Usually, this has been our problem when we are dating I tend to keep everything to myself wherein she wants to cooperate/collaborate.

How has she/he changed your view of the world?

She made me realize that I am capable of falling in love and giving love to other people. That I am enough and it is okay on showing my evil sides that no matter how broken I am there's a home/place that I can rest into.

What do you miss when you're apart from each other?

As I want to sound as cheesy as it is, I do not miss people. So when we are apart I think I will not miss her. But why should we become apart? I don't see any situation wherein I might or she might be doing such.

• I am working from home and if ever that I will be back, I might go ahead and sign some resignation papers.

• Vacation trips alone and with other people aren't feasible as I do not have friends etc.

• If I go elsewhere for sure they are included.

So I am not really sure in what universe it might happen so possibility and even in simulation, it will not happen.

Added tips that are not included in the questionnaire :

• Prepare for the married life, not the marriage ceremony shenanigans. Having a grand wedding is cool but having a successful marriage is fantastic and worth following.

• You fight the common enemy not you fight each other. If there's a difference sit down and be quiet for a while and ask how can we be better. It helps!

• Try to be open as you can, guys cannot be that much but let your woman know that you need her and give her support in her endeavors.

So yeah that is all for me, I might post how I prepare for my wedding proposal in the future so if you want that here leave a comment. ( I will surely post that because I seldom create topics haha)