No parent will admit that they do not love their child.
However, this happens more often than it should.
If a parent has a bad attitude towards a child, it is mainly because he did not even have a conscious or mature desire to have children.
If the child is unloved, he will behave in such a way that he shows his pain and discomfort. The child does not understand what is happening to him, sees the world as a dangerous place and will do everything to change it.
Parents further complicate the situation by not admitting to neglecting the child. They rationalize their behavior for various reasons, so they do not show him enough love or abuse him.
Such parents believe that any way of aggressive behavior towards the child or their indifference is actually for the child's good. So in the end the child is confused and thinks he has done something wrong.
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood." - Tom Robbins
Let's say that the mother is the one who tells the child that she is tired or that she "can't cope with him." It happens that every mother sometimes says this to her child, especially if her day was stressful.
But it often happens that the parents demand from the child something that he is still not able to do.
Parents often have high expectations of him, explain things to him badly or expect more than the child is capable of doing at that moment of development.
One example would be for the child to always be calm or to follow something longer than he is capable of. Thus, it is the parent who frustrates himself with his unrealistic expectations.
What's worse, he will frustrate his child so that he thinks he is incompetent.An unloved child sees that almost everything he does irritates his parents. And that nothing he does is good enough for his parents to accept him. Because of that, he often blames them, thinks badly of himself and feels helpless. It believes that whatever it does, it will not be able to influence the outcome of the event.
The child cannot understand why he is suffering, so he shows his anxiety and pain by his behavior:
• It can develop fears and phobias of the dark or situations it cannot control.
• He becomes impulsive, unable to control anger and strong emotions (even joy), so he will often react violently.
• One day he asks for one and the next for another. He often changes his behavior. This is common for children, but is much more pronounced in neglected children.
• Becomes anxious. He cannot sit still, constantly questioning or repeating actions in some other way.
• Difficult to concentrate and follow. He has problems at school. He tries to become invisible to his surroundings.
• An unloved child has no social skills. He is uncomfortable or feels bad in the presence of other children or people.
• Becomes very suspicious and confused. Shows signs of discomfort. Some of these children are very stubborn, and others have stopped being lively. In general, these children seem sad, submissive and desperately need support.
People need touch, hugs and warm words all their lives, especially in childhood. They are food for our emotions so that we can grow mentally. No parent is perfect, but each of them must make sure that the child feels loved and like a dear member of the family.
Indifference or rejection hurts children markedly. These behaviors cause wounds in children that are difficult to heal in adulthood.
Nowadays, a crazy time that I would say, we have to be careful in raising our children