Within a couple of days two different people told me the same thing about me. "Only" they formulated differently.
One is to say you are hypersensitive.
The other is to say you are a gentle thin soul, take care of it.
I am sensitive. To some too much, to some gently and subtly. I have been sensitive since I know for myself.
Until recently, I also thought of myself as hypersensitive. A lot of them told me that.
Now I know I'm not hypersensitive.
I'm just sensitive.
It is neither better nor worse than others. Only different in its sensitivity. I have long believed that this is my flaw. That I need to somehow become less sensitive. Until I learned about the term highly sensitive person This may sound like pettiness and hair-splitting to some.
As if it matters, hypersensitive or highly sensitive. You can think. Someone. Not to me. For me, that difference made a huge change in my view of myself.
I'm not too much,
I don't miss anything.
I am neither better nor worse than others. Only different in its sensitivity.
I was born with a more sensitive nervous system and that's it.
As someone is born tall and someone short. Both have their advantages and disadvantages.
Thus, someone is born with a more or less sensitive nervous system.
Dr. Elaine Aron, a clinical psychologist and scientist, was among the first to draw attention to the fact that some people (about 20% of the population) differ in this characteristic.
Some of the questions she asks, and which help determine if you are highly sensitive, are:
-Are you easily overwhelmed by things like strong lights, strong smells, rough materials, the sound of sirens?
-Do you get upset when you have too many things to do in a short period of time?
-Do you avoid violence in movies and TV series?
-Do you need to retire to bed or a darkened room during the day with a lot of obligations and thus take a short break?
-Is it extremely important for you to organize your life in such a way as to avoid disturbing or overwhelming situations?
-Do you enjoy delicate smells, tastes, sounds and works of art? do you have a rich and complex inner life?
- When you were a child, did your parents and teachers consider you sensitive and shy?
Just as you can't blame someone who is too tall or short, because that's something a person can't influence, so you can't blame someone for being oversensitive.
When I learned about the existence of this trait, I experienced great relief. I realized that everything was fine with me, only different. Neither better nor worse. Different.
The question that came to my mind was - what's next with that?
I'm not going to go around, I'm informing people that I'm highly sensitive, that I'm not guilty of it and that they should treat me differently, with special care.
I don’t think it’s okay to bully others, but it’s also not okay to bully yourself either.
Thinking bad of yourself because of your difference is wrong.
I experienced a big difference in the experience of myself and therefore in my self-esteem with the very awareness that this is my trait, high sensitivity, something that I cannot influence and something that I should not change.
What I can influence is that first I respect my own diversity and my own needs.
This means that I am aware that occasionally, more often than others, I need to pull and charge the batteries. And that's what I do. I don’t force myself to the pace that others have. I respect my pace.
I am aware of how much other people's feelings and moods affect me and that is why I choose company whenever I can.
I am aware that no one is obliged to tremble around me, but I am also aware that it is my obligation to withdraw from relationships that exhaust and hurt me. It is possible to make a satisfactory compromise with some people, but not with others. And that's okay.
They don't have to change, but I don't have to change something I can't change.
It is important that I am aware of that, not to blame myself or others, but to accept what is.
Why do people find it bad to be emotional or sensitive?
Being emotional or sensitive in the time and society in which we live is not easy. But that doesn’t mean it’s bad. I even think, and experience teaches me, that when we accept ourselves with our sensitivity and emotionality, when we learn to protect and nurture ourselves, to set boundaries and choose people with whom we will be in closer relationships, then emotionality and sensitivity become advantages.
Yes, some people consider emotionality and sensitivity a weakness and a disadvantage. It is not a problem.
The problem is when we ourselves begin to consider our emotionality and sensitivity as a disadvantage.
To try to be less something we are and more something we are not.
It is a sure path to dissatisfaction and a failed life.
To me, knowing that there is a trait called high sensitivity has made a huge difference in my life. Change to much, much better. Knowing that I am neither too much nor too little but quite enough but a little different.
I hope it will benefit some of you as well. If you are highly sensitive or have such a gentle and subtle soul in your environment.
thanks for this informative article