I Lean on Him!

Do you have someone whom you considered as a best friend? Does anyone considered you as her/his best friend?

Hi there my read.cash readers. A pleasant day to one and all. This piece is about a story of a girl who found that someone she leans on in her toughest moments of her life.

So let me start with a quote,

"You're storms are temporary but the blessings of God are forever."

When I was a child, I felt left out from my friends, some real, mostly faked ones. Having a strict parents? I considered it as one of the reasons. Coping up with expectations of other people around you, gave me a hard time to adjust easily in the society that I've belong to. I can play tho, but not as much as I want. Unlike the other kiddos at that time, they built so much friendship were I thought I can't belong to it. It was kinda sad. I was literary looking at our window, seeing other kids playing and I was talking to myself like this, "Why I am alone right now?" "Why I was left out in here?"

And if you think that was the most tragic part, a big NO!

There was one time that I went outside to buy some stuffs commanded by my mama. I saw my friends laughing at me. I was embarrassed though I don't know why they were laughing. And then suddenly, one of my friends let go of his pet and it ran off to me. I was very terrified and shocked because so it happened that I really hate dogs at that time. So I ran as fast as I can turning home. I was very paled. My mama asked me, "What happened to you nak?" and I answered, "Mama the kids out there make fun of me," and I cried. My mama was very angry and asked the kids outside, "Who make fun of my child?" I looked at the window while my mama was scolding all of them. She said, "All of you, go home" with fearsome eyes. So the kids ran off all the way to their homes. I wiped my tears and mama returned and give me some water. She comforted me.

ELEMENTARY DAYS

When I was in my elementary days, I was bullied. I persuaded my parents to transfer me to other school because I can't take their insults anymore. I had a thin body at that time, so they called me "wangkig," I was very insulted and asked myself,

"Why they called me like that?"

"I am not like that, I'm just thin tho!"

I cried a lot at home. I can't eat properly, I just stocked myself in my room. There were times also that I was sick for a couple of days so that's why I made a lot of absences. Good thing that my teachers, provided me their extra time to give me extensions or deadlines for my late submissions of homeworks and assignments. My parents also explained to them about my state and my teachers understands it.

I made a couple of friends at that time, and as you think, some real and mostly faked. I had considered one of them as my best friend. But the sad truth is that, she doesn't. One-sided, still I just knew it later on. I gave her some of my food or snacks my mama made for me. I gave her some stuffs or toys and played with her. I talked to her about almost everything. But later on, she had changed. She suddenly got mad at me, even tough I don't know what I have done wrong for her to do that, and she found a new couple of friends. She was considered to be their leader. I was so sad, I confronted her but she just turned away from me.

I was bullied until my fifth grade, its kinda hard for me because all those years I was not able to really enjoy my childhood days, but my parents and other members of the family were always at my side to comfort me and gave their best to provide me those times that I wasn't able to act just what I want at that time. Although, I experienced playing tho, but not as much as I want. Then in my sixth grade, they had stopped in bullying me, and it made happy, though it was the last year of my grade school, still I able to made memories of that of my elementary years.

HIGH SCHOOL DAYS

In high school, I met another new friends at school from different barangays. We made a lot of memories until we had graduated. We still experienced hard times but unlike the elementary days, we were able to managed it right away.

COLLEGE DAYS

A lot of changes occured in this very moment of my lifetime. I adopted the new environment I had, I met new friends then, transitions that gave me such a roller coaster ride. I also met the love of my life.

New challenges occured may in school or personal matters. And because I was always dependent to my family, in those years, it gave me so much stress, I had depressions and anxiety attacks, though I had friends but I really don't want to share my problems with them because I don't know all of them, their characteristics and true colors in particular. So all alone, I tried to handle the difficult times all throughout my journey as a college student and just depending in myself. Until I met Him. I know, you might think that I am crazy or something weird just because, I just mention Him in here. You might say that, but to tell honestly, I was in a dark room, innocent about His presence a long time before. I came to church tho, but not as devotee as you think I might be. I recognized Him but not about how Mighty He is. Innocent? or just Stupid? If you laugh at me because of that, the pleasure is mine, but I was just showing what really I am, before I met Him.

Fast Forward:

I learned to read the bible, not too much tho, but I keep trying hard. I went to church, oftentimes. I watched movies about Him, sometimes. And I learned to lean to Him in times of trouble. I now acknowledged His presence in me as a lost sheep I am. I still keep on making a lot mistakes, I am not perfect being. No one is perfect, right? I keep in mind that He was always at my side. Until the day my considered best friend just turned me down, I never again treated anyone as my best friend, not until I met Him. Now, He was the one that I talked to in difficult times. I cried to Him. I asked Him for help, for guidance, for safety not just for myself but also for my loved ones. I talked to Him about my dreams, about my love life, about my friends, about my family, about everything. Although, I don't see Him in person but I felt His presence in me. I also asked Him to heal me, to forgive me, to correct me, to guide me all throughout this lifetime. I considered Him as my very Best friend. I am very thankful that I met Him even though just right the time that I am at a matured stage of this life. I know its not too late. I know His right there waiting for me to come to Him.

Learning to know about Him is a much blessing for me. I am a sinner yet He accepted me open arms. He rescued my old self. I was very blessed for having Him in life, until now He never left me behind. I know He will give me what's best for me. On His will and right time. I will continue to lean on Him because I know He will never left me alone and in oblivion.

Closing Thoughts:

I will share with you this tiktok content I saw which states,

"See, I didn't find God in the church. Infact, I didn't find God at all. HE FOUND ME!😇He met me in place where I was so broken, I couldn't get up.💔😟And when you're loved like that, it will shock you. You think you've experience love until you experience His love.(@janna_s.0327)

He found me, when I was alone and broken. He rescued me from the oblivion where I was. He promised me to be with me and never left me. He loved me, that no one else can, even my parents, even my loved ones, His love for me is above all. And if your asking what was His name?

He is JESUS!😇

God Bless everyone...❤️

Thank you for reading this piece of mine.

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