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And if I don't want to be me then I believe, there would be no one who wants that too. I sometimes try to see myself from others' perspectives. I still don't see the reflection I want to see in me.
There are so many self-development, mind-changing options that need to be filled in to reach there. I don't know, maybe the more I will achieve the standard will going to be higher. But I'm sure there would be a point of satisfaction when I could say, I have achieved something.
There are so many habits I still feel ashamed of. I still feel jealous of others. Yes, this is the worst thing about me, I know I need to change it. I feel embarrassed to myself, I can't grow to have this in my mind. I'm working on this along with many other things.
I need to have more power over my mind and thoughts. It's not like I would control how I feel but the end result would be more measurable. I keep some negative thoughts, I wish people will not know about this. So what would it be if you would be me? You will get to know the thoughts. Before that, I need to get rid of them.
No, I'm not going to be a saint. I know that I will still have many flaws even if I work hard on changing myself positively. On the other hand, I know that my self-development and spiritual growth can bring me what I want, the peace of my mind, the goal I'm thinking about myself to reach.
For now, I would not want to be me. But I would surely want to be me if I talk about my future self.
I don't know how much I could achieve as this is a long way to go. But I'm working on changing myself, my perspective, my spiritual binding to be the person I want to be, to be the one you would be proud about, to be the one anyone would want to be.