I've been trying to log in to read.cash since 2 pm, seriously, 2 pm!
The internet service has made the last couple of days hell on earth for those of us who work online. I couldn't give my class today because of that, I haven't been able to interact with you since Sunday, and I mean, come on!
I try to remember my own words about not explode due to situations I can't control. It's true if I can't control them, what good comes by being angry? Maybe vent a little but let it go after that. However, today I'm having a hard time doing that, and let me tell you why.
My Old Job
Yes, same person same story.
Well, not the same story, I'm not on the payroll, they don't command me, but they haven't found anyone yet for the job so, I'm still doing administrative duties, I'm still "responsible" for the whole staff in regards to their money.
Since I'm always honest, or at least I try to be, I won't lie by saying that it bothers me. It doesn't, my main issue and the one that was making my life a living hell and making my health crash and burn is now bothering other people who refuse to let her get her way and especially, have been keeping her away from me.
It's funny because the people of both secretaries of Finances and Budget and Planning are communicating directly with me and I report to the president of the foundation, my friend Jemi. So the other one has been miserable because I don't give her the information and Jemi doesn't share everything with her. After all, she doesn't need to know anything, because she always says she knows nothing.
Yesterday I spent all day elaborating this week's payroll and uploading it into the new platform. After that, we received instructions that I had to do some modifications regarding the amounts to pay the administrative staff. I made the modifications and in that process, I said to Jemi that she should pay a visit to both secretaries to ask some questions about the Christmas Bonus and the Budget for next year. She asked me to join her and I agreed, since I'm still on duties I might as well get the information first hand, right?
Till this point everything was fine, but when we got to planning and budget, the problem emerged. The guy with whom I always talk finally asked why I left the Foundation. I answered honestly since I have nothing to hide and he replied that he thinks I made a mistake and ended up saying that my Sense of Belonging isn't the same anymore because I'm not on the payroll, he went even further and said this:
It's like if you have a boyfriend and he cheats on you, then you decide to forgive him. You are together but the trust isn't the same.
I sat silently, and thought to myself, no good can come from arguing with someone who hasn't seen what I've been through, and when we left I said to Jemi, I'm not comfortable with what he said. Her answer was "He is right and I have told you this before". At that point I got angry.
Why the prerogative has to be different for me?
Why do my actions have to be questioned by everybody when I haven't question anyone?
If I wanted to leave them hanging I could do it, it's not my job nor my responsibility to look out for the future or functioning of the foundation, and if I want to I can easily drop everything on her and she has to look out for help or drop the towel.
She walked with me silently and didn't say much as I was saying this to her, she knew that I was right. She was appointed president in 2017 and 6 months later she started to say that since our old boss didn't do the training that he had promised, she wouldn't last much as president because she didn't want it in the first place. Then, in 2018 she submitted her resignation letter to the Assemble and they said no, now she steps in because I step out and didn't wanted the foundation to be in the hands of the other one.
If I had stayed, would she have stepped up and started to do her job?
I don't know, she has said before that the reason why she was so at ease with everything was because I was there and she trusts me. So I said to her that maybe this had to happen this way to get everything in it's right place.
When I got home, at 1 pm, tired, sweaty, angry, I vented, and almost cried. It's not fair at all, that after all that has happened, and all that I've done, I'm still taking the blows.
Sorry for the rambling and the venting, I had planned to write something different but, between this and the internet, my brain is fried!
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PS: I have been trying to upload this for the last three hours so if I don't' reply to you or anything is not because I don't want to, is because I can't!
See you next time!
Blessings
Tuesday, October 12th, 2021
Well, leave it. Let them be. You left already, they should be grateful you're still doing administrative duties else, it will all in chaos. I don't think u are still obligated to go there and perform administrative duties if you left for a while now. What I know about people who reproach is that they'd been dying to have your position and they can't believe that you just threw it all away. You want something new, go chase it. It's a waste of time thinking about them.