Happiness means...???

I often wonder what it is to be happy...

Is it a state of mind or spirit?

Is it in wealth and financial stability?

Can I found it in love and relationships?

Many more questions about this subject have popped up in my head throughout the years because let's face it, We all want to be happy, so most of our lives are spent in the pursuit of happiness.

Hello fabulous people of dear cash!

How is 2022 treating you so far?

Just seven days in and many things had already happened, it's just crazy, but that's life, and also, that's what gave me material for today's article.

I'll continue...

Two days ago there was a theft in my home, but before that happened the question with which I titled this article came to me: Happiness means what?

I consider myself a happy person, but why? I recalled a scene from my favorite soap opera Betty La Fea, where one of the characters tries to shame another because she's announcing her pregnancy to her group of friends.

She says, quote:

Ay dear that will be in your case, for in mine the baby's momma works, the daddy also works, we are HAPPY and we Don't Have Problems...

Bertha the González-Yo soy Betty la Fea-1999

That scene remained in my head until the moment of the theft and then later, venting all my anger while looking for some hooks to secure the rest of the ceiling, I was talking with my mom about it. We discussed what it means, the difference between happy and unhappy, if it's a state of mind or not. We clashed on some but agreed in many, for we both have had a wild ride for life and can relate in many things.

That did me good, for I cleared my head and started to think more clearly about what had happened and about our lives, and in the conversation, I came out with 3 main things:

Money plays a part in Happiness.

There's no denying it. Money can big a huge game-changer in the pursuit of happiness, but not like the way short minds tend to think, no offense, I was one of them.

I'll explain, there comes a time in our lives when we think that fancy cars, fancy clothes, the best brands of scotch, cigars, vacations on the Cape, private plains, etc, are things that'll make us happy when enough amount of money comes in.

If I had the money I'll buy all that I want and I'll be happy"

But I now tend to differ from that after years of having that mindset. Money would make me happy but because it'll allow me to provide better care for myself and my family: Housing, transport, healthcare, those are non-negotiable needs every family and person has. Having money would give me those and with that comes the stability every person needs and deserves, and of course, that's the just reward for hard and honest work.

So, people who say that money does not buy you happiness are wrong, I think.

Happy people vs Unhappy people.

Once you establish what makes you happy is easy to see the differences between you, a happy person, from your surroundings, less happy people.

I'll talk about myself. I believe happiness is a state of mind, a statement I'll elaborate a bit more on later on; I believe we can be happy with much and that we can be happy with little, for I was raised to always have in mind that one day we can be on top and the next in the bottom, that we have to learn how to live with what we have while working for a better life and that's nothing to be ashamed of, and that if life gives you lemons, you have to make lemonade. Simple things that can make the difference.

With that established, I can differentiate myself from unhappy people with this: I learned how to make a negative into a positive and I do not let bad things hold me to the ground. Unhappy people use bad situations to make themselves victims and don't work to get themselves out. A bit harsh once you think about it, but I have seen it, I was one of them, and when I realized my mistake, my life began to be better.

Happiness is not perfect.

You all have read or heard this phrase in its many forms:

Bravery is not the absence of fear, is what you do despite fear.

The same principle might be applicable to happiness. It doesn't mean it's perfect, or as the Bertha character said, is not the absence of problems, is what you decide to do despite them all.

That's why I say it's a state of mind or a mindset, it's something you choose for yourself, and it doesn't mean you don't feel anger, sadness, loneliness, despair, it means that once you acknowledge those feelings you can start to work to pull yourself out and little by little your life changes for the better.

I'll share a story with you: somebody told my mom once that she wasn't successful because she didn't have a juicy income, that she hadn't done anything with her law degree, and that in that way she couldn't be considered a successful person. My mom old the person about the time her parents were killed in a car accident, why she had to return from the United Stated without finishing her career, and why she didn't finish here.

She also told that person about the pride she felt the first time one of us was featured in the local newspapers, and the first time we left the country on a tour. She talked about me getting a college degree after turning 30 years old and with an illness and a job and told that person all that we did to give my dad the best care that we could and despite the situation, we never went hungry.

My mom said to that person that success is not measured only in money, it can be measured with other kinds of accomplishments, like for example having six sons and daughters all grown up, all productive human beings, and all good people, with trajectory and good standing amongst society.

The person who said that to my mom is a person, who hasn't work never in life and does not study because there's no way a person can study and work at the same time. They don't have money or any kind of wealth and live complaining about anything and everything all the time. That's a person who believes that happiness depends on money and luck, and it's not something you can have even without all the wealth in the world, it's a person who believes that if you are happy that means you don't have problems and that your life is perfect, and in my experience, that's not how it works.

Look, I'm happy and I have problems, like for instance: part of my roof was stolen and I don't have the money to fix it right now, and I felt Disappointment and anger, but once I let those feelings out I made a decision and I started to work on it, and I'm on my way to accomplish that, I even made the design of the bars I want to put outside to close all access.

Another example is this: I live from my earnings here and BCH prices keep falling. While it can cause me some problems, that's beyond my control, and all I can do is keep working with the hope the prices go up again.

I feel a little despair but I keep going, I'm a little frightened but I keep working, I keep hoping that everything will be better, and in the meantime, I'm grateful and blessed for all the things that I have, and that makes me happy.

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See you next time.

✨✨Blessings✨✨

@rebeysa85

January 7th, 2022.