Breaking cycles.
In life we all adopt repetitive patterns that eventually become a habit; some are healthy and directed to improve our lives personally and otherwise. Some others are bad and born without noticing them and derived from moments of high levels of stress, frustration, and sadness, like smoking or drinking. I´m one to talk, I pick up a cigarette every time I feel overwhelmed with everything that's happening around me.
All of the above and more, are things that are somewhat easy to give up if one has enough willpower to do so, and I´m speaking about those habits that are not at all healthy, the healthy ones can stay because they are healthy, right? But what happens when you found yourself caught in a cycle of bad habits, and bad behavior and you seem to be unable to get out? The cigarette example is the easiest one I can put out here, you start by enunciating "This is bad for me, I can get cancer, I'm contaminating my body as well as the environment, I'm hurting my pocket as well, I smell bad, I need to stop". And you start to take all the steps you have to take to stop, like reducing the number of cigarettes you smoke a day, substituting them with gum or candy o an elastic band on your wrist to compel you not to pick up one, and for a time you do fine and you stop smoking. Then something happens, and you fall out of the wagon, and just like that, you are caught again in that bad habit of using cigarettes as a crutch, as a coping mechanism to deal with basic life (I´m wanting one right now).
There you have a clear example of a vicious cycle, one that can go around over and over again like a hamster wheel and you don´t seem to be able to get off it until you do. Then again, other cycles are even harder to break, at work and family-wise.
When life at work becomes a vicious cycle.
Ah, work. We need to work to earn money and pay for stuff, the necessities of a human being, food, clothing, housing, etc. The ones fortunate enough to have well-paid jobs can go further and have a life of travel and luxury, all rewards for a job well done. There are also the ones in menial jobs, those chores, not anyone wants to do because they are boring and very underpaid, and often come with hell bosses. And you have the ones in the middle where you grasp both sides of the line without being part of either. I have one of those.
My job is very demanding, with a high level of responsibility that not everyone can seem to understand and accept. I hardly have vacation days, I´m always in expectation of a phone call or a WhatsApp message asking for reports of all sorts at any hour of the day, of any day. And I had a hell boss who drove me to the edge of my sanity and I decided to stop it once and for all, a tough decision, but the right one at the time; this year I got reinstated because no one took my place and because it was necessary, so I accepted because I thought the cycle was broken and everything was going to be different, which for a time it was, but slowly is becoming more and more similar to before, except for the hell boss, we got rid of her and she is driving other people mad, not us.
Now that the point emerges, what do I do now that I´m recognizing that I´m falling into a vicious cycle again, where I have to be behind every decision because the main boss and the team don´t seem to understand that we all have to be proactive and onto things, especially when we are working towards the growth of the foundation? Why do I have to remind the president what she has to do, when it should be the other way around or better, a middle point of boss and executioner? She commands I do, but no, I have to remind her to command me to get things done, and that´s one of the things that happened before, and I don´t know how to stop it without losing my job or damaging the artistic part of the foundation. A hard one to achieve indeed.
Family Matters.
Blood is thicker than water they said. The notion that no bond is tighter than a family bond is one of the ages, I´ve been hearing and reading my whole life, nothing is more important than family, lovers and friends come and go but family is forever. Now I ask you this: have you ever felt mistreated, even abused, just because you are family and it's okay just because?
I remember my mom always telling us that we have to be united, we have to be close, and we have to love each other no matter what because the bond should be strong and forever. And we grew up and all have different personalities, tastes, and ways, and some of us accepted our differences, others not so much. So I´ve been struggling with the idea of cutting ties for my own good and that of my mom and sister Gigi because I came to realize this: in a world where everyday battles are being fought for people's rights to be, to speak, to exist, to be free to dare to be different (although I think some are going a little too far with it), people are fighting abuse from all fronts, so, why do we have to accept emotional abuse from others just because of the fact that there´s a family bond? Why should I make myself less me just because I have to tolerate narcissistic and misogynistic attitudes from family and their partners? Why should I have to put my whole world on hold to run toward someone that doesn´t even care about what´s happening to us right now? No visit, not a phone call, a short message from time to time, and not an inch of support, but I, we, have to go running to help them.
Well, not this time, not again, I´m breaking that cycle, and it´s painful, and it is hard to accept, but now is the time to take care of me, my mom, and my little sister, because at the end of the day we are all we got. We have to stop crossing bridges that nobody is going to cross for us, to jump every obstacle for people who only see us as absentmindedness and not a priority, enough is enough, and don´t get me wrong, I still have a love for them, but I´m putting us first. It´s not selfishness, is self-worth and love.
This is 100% Original Content.
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See you next time.
✨✨Blessings✨✨
@rebeysa85
August 18th, 2022.
Work and life balance is very important. We need a break from a stressful situation or else we will lose our sanity haha!
Cheers!