Never Satisfied

Sometimes, the reason we don’t start a creative project is because we feel like we’re going to have to sacrifice our vision due to time or budget or resources.

We might have this idea in mind, a story we want to tell, but for some reason, we may not be able to create or obtain the material that we want.

Was that good or do I need a ninth take? I kind of feel like I was talking too fast, like I was stressed.

What do you think when you hear the word, ”perfect?” Acing a test? Drawing right inside the lines? Putting your art out there and not getting a single bad review.

If I ask you to name the order of the planets in our solar system, starting nearest the sun, and you do just that, is that then a perfect answer, or is it just the right answer? Is it both? Could something be wrong, yet perfect?

Perhaps, sometimes, perfect is more about how something feels, rather than what it actually is. When I think of perfect, I think this morning. Waking up just early enough to where I have a moment of complete silence. It’s the weekend, so the streets are so quiet.

I think of this cup of coffee. Not because it’s the best

cup I’ve ever had, but because, in this moment, it just sits right. The thought of “how it could’ve been better” doesn’t even cross my mind.

When I think of perfect, I think of this pen. It does have its flaws; It’s made out of plastic; the ink doesn’t come out sometimes and it’s not the prettiest. But it’s silky smooth to write with and it makes me feel like less of a muggle.

I couldn’t really ask for anything more out of a pen. I also take the price into consideration; it was pretty damn cheap.

So, perhaps when we determine whether something is perfect, we need to take other factors into consideration, such as cost, and perhaps the time and effort invested.

What would happen if I got a pen that didn’t have those “flaws?” Would that pen then be perfect, and would my current pen cease to be perfect, or can several things be perfect at once, but in different ways?

Can anything be perfect at all, or is that just an impossible standard we set to have something guide us?

How the hell does one find the perfect (oh the irony) balance between having high standards, being a high achiever and all that kind of stuff, without turning into a stressed out, anxious, miserable person who’s never feels satisfied?

In other words: what’s a healthy and balanced way of dealing with perfectionism? “Perfectionist” isn’t amongst the top 5 words I’d use to describe myself, but it is something that I’ve dealt with and still deal with in some areas of my life, and it usually looks something like:

I have this vision of an ideal, often times I can’t even articulate exactly what that ideal looks like, yet when I fall short to match it (it just doesn’t feel quite right) I feel deeply unsatisfied.

Now, I’d like to note that I don’t have all the answers to these questions. I’m just trying to navigate these things just like everyone else to find ways that work for me.

Now, there’s really only two simple concepts that I’d like to discuss,

starting with: Outcome vs process

“When you think about your goals, don't just consider the outcome you want. Focus on the repetitions that lead to that place. Focus on the piles of work that come before.”

– James Clear

You want to guess why I didn’t? Because I kept thinking that I didn’t have the perfect idea for it and that my writing wasn’t good enough and what if I don’t have anything to write about.

As for not having the perfect idea or not knowing what to write about, here’s what I think a lot of people, myself included, get wrong sometimes: ideas usually don’t pop up in our head when we want them to.

Most of the time, they appear when we’re actively doing. Like, the only way to become a better writer, is to write. And the more I write, the more I have to write about. And this can be applied to basically anything.

When I focus more on the process of, for example, writing, rather than the end result of my work, I’m less fearful of things not going exactly according to plan, and I’m able to enjoy what I’m doing a lot more, and both those things pretty much exclusively leads to me creating better work, at the very least in the long run.

If I were to just sit around, waiting for the stars to align, before getting to work I’d be waiting forever. The stars got other things to do. Now, this often goes hand in hand with “quantity over quality”, which to any perfectionist, sounds absolutely terrifying.

But there’s definitely something to be said about quantity over quality. Now, I wouldn’t interpret it as mindlessly throwing out shitty work, but rather, as we just talked about, I’d interpret it as acknowledging the fact that the more you do something, the better you’ll become at it.

Now, I’d like to briefly talk about something that I think we often times forget in the pursuit of whatever it is that we’re pursuing, especially when we’re outcome focused, and that is to enjoy ourselves. Like, if I can’t find a single enjoyable aspect of something that I’m doing, whether that’s writing a script or filming a video or doing yoga, it makes everything feel heavier.

And for some reason, it makes me more nitpicky, and I’m more likely to get into a negative spiral of feeling inadequate and like I’m not good enough or that my work isn’t good enough.

Now, If I could share one small piece of advice, and this is something that I’ve talked about a few times before, it is: understand the power of your words and pick them carefully.

Please share your thoughts on perfectionism and how it might have affected your life, or if you know any perfectionists, how have they affected your life?

Okay, thank you for spending your precious time here and GOD BLESS