Not Everything Can Be Bought With Money
Some says that life revolves around money and that people need money to be happy in life. Well that's partially true because we need money to buy food, buy clothes and pay rent for our house or buy one. If we do not have money to provide these basic needs for ourselves and for our family, we'll surely become anxious. If you have more money that you can even use it for some luxuries such as travelling and buying things aside from the basic needs.
Even when faced with losing their job and source of income or even their house, people still want to have the things that money can buy. Those are the kind of people which can easily give in and be a victim of advertisers which makes interesting and ads to entice the consumers to buy a new and bigger house, the newest car and branded clothes. Not having money is not a problem. There is an option to take out loans or use a credit card.
Nowadays, many people want to look rich even if it they end up being in a lot of debts.
But later on, you'll be hit with reality. This is what the book The Narcissism Epidemic says:
*“Borrowing eye-catching products to look and feel rich is just like sniffing cocaine to make you feel better,”.... “Initially, they were both cheap and effective — but they were short-lived. Eventually, you will become depressed and depressed. ”*
The bible warns people that trying to be showy of one's means of life is foolishness. In fact, material things are needed in life but being obsessed with it may result to losing the more important things in life which no matter how rich you are, money can't buy them.
In this article, let me discuss the three things that money can't buy.
***Contentment***. Even with a simple kind of life and simple way of living, some people are still happy because they are contented of what they have. Buy there are also people who find it hard to be contented with having only the basic things they need, they want to strive for more.
***Good and harmonious family relationship***. A lot of experiences shows that money can't buy a good family relationship. Those parents who strived so hard to provide the luxuries of their children and works long hours and spends only a bit of their time for their family usually ends up being unhappy, both the parents and the children. Being overly concerned of their work and even on times that he should spend with the family, but instead he looks out for his job and spends long hours over the phone even when on a day off, instead of spending quality time with the family. Children with such parents usually feels unloved, though the parent's intention is just to be able to provide all the things they need, including the luxuries.
A teenager says that her dad is always travelling, and she knows that it is part of his job, but she feels that her dad's job is not the only thing he has a responsibility, he also has a responsibility to his daughter.
Always remember that a good family relationship can never be bought with money. Harmonious relationship with the family will only become possible if a person spends quality time with his family and will give attention and love to his family.
***Complete peace of mind***. I remember a story my high school friend once told me. Her mother always reminds her to marry a rich man and always to good in school, graduate and get a good-paying job so that if in case her husband ran out of money, she'll have her own money. She told me that her money is all that matters to her mom and everyday she keeps on talking about how important money is. Well, money is actually important.
But think about it, when you plan for your future, what things do plan and think about? Even with a lot of money, you will never find a total peace of mind. Yes, being financially secured is indeed important, but if money is all you think about all the time, you will never be happy about it. Even when someone becomes financially secured and gains a lot of money, he will still worry about things such us, what if he or she lost his money? What if someone robs him? What if he lost his house?
Always remember that even if you have a lot of savings, you will never be sure of what will happen to you in the future. Money can never cure all the sickness and can never stop a person from dying.
We should keep in mind that money can't buy all the important things in life. The bible even tells us that even with all the luxuries, a person's life does not come from his possessions.
Going back to undesirable Habits
On the previous article, I wrote about bad habits and how to successfully break through from it. Like I previously mentioned, the battle against bad habits is not easy, it may even take months or a year to totally break free from it. That's why it feels really great it would be to finally conquer it.
'**Finally**!"
This is a word uttered by a person to express his feeling of triumph after fighting so hard against bad habits. But there are times that after struggling for a long time and finally break free from it, there are some who eventually goes back to doing the undesirable habits. Think about how upsetting it would be to that person. It would be upsetting when something you thought will be gone but eventually come back.
Perhaps you already experience going back to an undesirable habit to you previously to eliminate and overcome. If that is the case, you may even doubt yourself if you could ever really break free from it. Undesirable habits and practices may not be limited to just one habit. It could include addiction to alcohol, addiction to coffee or sweets, over eating, smoking, impulse buying, gambling and a lot more undesirable habits.
Living in the initial phase of breaking through from a bad habit will make it seem that absolutely avoiding it is very easy. But that is not always the case, studies show that it is not that easy to totally avoid undesirable habits.
This is what P. Miller and R. Hodgson explained in their book, Self watching:
*“Relapse is most likely to occur in the first three months after treatment. In fact, one study indicates that approximately 66 per cent of smokers, alcoholics and drug addicts return to their old behavior within 90 days of their initial resolve to change. However, those who are able to curb their addiction during the first three to six months have an excellent chance of maintaining that control.”*
Negative emotions, conflicts with other people, social or peer pressures and being in a situation where there is a strong temptation could be the reasons why others goes back to doing their undesirable habits.
**How to Prevent**
After finally conquering your bad habit, it doesn't mean that you can already relax and not do something. On the initial period of being able to successfully fight off your undesirable habit, you still need to watch out and continue with your strategies that helped you to break free from it. For example, if you tried to eliminate your habit of impulsive buying and finally able to break free from it, then you should continue doing the strategies that helped you. Perhaps you need not install online shopping applications again, or continue not to bring extra money when shopping etc. And if you tried to remove your addiction to alcohol, then continue not to be in situations where you will be pressured to drink. You can continue with those strategies, but there are also cases when you just have to have a self check and revive the strategies from time to time, specially when there is a strong temptation to go back to the undesirable habit or when undergoing stressful situations.
You can also try to have a written record so that you can monitor your progress. For example, when trying to lose weight because of excessive eating, have a record of your weight readings.
Another step that could help someone to overcome and not come back to bad habits is through rewards. Rewards is not limited to giving it to others, it could also be given to ourselves. Since rewards has always been effective to motivate someone, it could also work on you. Reward yourself every time you are able to resist the temptation to go back to your habit.
This is what a psychological director for Weight Watchers has recommended for people who are tying to lose weight:
*“Keep your mind busy with a range of absorbing activities. Crafts work well, and so do hobbies. If possible, have the supplies at hand and the work area already set up, so that you can pursue your activity at a moment’s notice.*”
This technique might also be effective for you.
Healthy activities can be used to replace the undesirable habits. For an example if you are 'addicted' to eating junk foods and drinking soda along with it, why not replace it with fruits and fruit juice? It is healthier and more natural instead of junk going in to your body.
Also remember that the reason why we usually resort to doing a certain habit is because it gives us somehow a feeling of relief when under stressful situations. So instead of smoking or drinking alcoholic beverages when under stress, try to replace it with a good habit such as reading, exercising or learning a new skill. You can start by writing and making a list of good habits that can potentially replace the bad one. Put it into action and start as soon as possible. Don't wait for a long time before acting against your bad habits.
**Don't be discouraged!**
When being pressured, it is only normal to feel tempted to go back to bad habits. Controlling your emotion can help not to feel overwhelmed and discouraged.
If you can't break free from your unwanted habit even if you already tried everything, don't be discouraged and lose hope. Always remember that there are habits which is already rooted in you, and it may take even years to completely break free from it. What's important is that you are trying your best, you are applying the techniques to conquer it.
This is what Proverbs 24:10 says:
*“Have you shown yourself discouraged in the day of distress? Your power will be scanty.”*
Yes, when you let the negative emotions rule over you, it can only make you weak. It will make you vulnerable and can even pressure you to return to your unwanted habit. So it is also important to fight the feelings of discouragement!
Breaking Bad Habits
*"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing to do. I know because I've done it a thousand times."*
**Mark Twain**
A lot of people will surely agree at this wistful remark by Mark Twain. It's no doubt that they know and understand that some habits are morally wrong and even harmful. Moreover, many will also agree that sometimes, it is a challenge to resist and stop those bad habits and overcome the urge of doing it. The reason? It may have been rooted in them for so many years that they struggle to resist it and change. The efforts to resist them can be very tiring or worse, it can be painful.
A doctor who works as a prison physician have observed that most offenders claims that they are slaves of their desires and obsessions. They argue and believe that once a person is addicted to a certain thing, he or she is controlled by pressure that he won't be able to resist. If that argument is true and have a valid basis, then each one of us can't be blamed for the wrong things we did because of pressure. But are we really helpless and poor victims of our desires and the inner force that drives it? Or is it possible to resist and stop the bad habits?
Because we are imperfect it is only natural to have wrong desires at times. But we should try to resist those desires, and it's also possible to resist and conquer it. Self-discipline is very important when it comes to controlling our desires, once we have it, we can surely eliminate the bad habits.
**Here are some suggestions to break your bad habits:**
***Recognize your bad habits and get to know about it***. If you are struggling from a habit, ask yourself:
*What benefits do I gain from this habit?*
*Do others find it annoying?*
*Does it have a negative effect on my health, financial aspects, my relationship with my family?*
*Does it hinder me to have a peace of mind?*
*Will I live a better life without it?*
**Change your bad habit with something positive**. Let's say that you spend so much of your time on the internet, perhaps you are wasting long hours scrolling on social media, watching vlogs or playing online games. If that's the case, then try to make a schedule of your activities and allocate more of your time for a wholesome activity such as exercising, learning a new skill, studying or reading.
**Monitor your improvement and progress**. Give it a few moments, maybe several minutes each day to think about the progress you've made. If in case our bad habits are slowly emerging again try to figure out what went wrong or what hinders you from quitting that bad habit.
**Seek for help**. "*Two is better than one.*" This phrase might have been used hundreds of times, but it can never go wrong. Tell a trusted friend or your family members that you are trying to quit your bad habit. They can remind you if in case you are doing it again. You can also talk to others who had the same dilemma before but was able to successfully break through from it, ask for advice and what helped him or her to quit which can also be effective for you.
**Be realistic and balanced**. Don't expect that just because you want to quit, you can quit overnight. There are habits that may even take years before you can successfully conquer. So be patient with yourself and adjust your expectations.
**Pray**. This is what I usually say, if you can't take something by yourself, and nothing seems to be effective, pray. With God's help, you can surely break through your bad habits.
Breaking through a bad habit is not easy but if you try to apply these suggestions you can surely break that bad habit of yours, if not, you can resist the temptation or desire to go back to your habit.
Valentine's Day
Have you already gave a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolate to your girlfriend or wife? If you are a girl have you received a gift from your lover today? If you are single, do you ever feel jealous seeing a lot of couples being lovey-dovey, perhaps you feel sick after seeing all those sweetness that is rampant in social media today.
Today, millions of people around the world are considering this day as a very special day. It is the time to show and express how much they love a special someone through giving out chocolates, flowers, gifts and preparing extravagant surprises. And for others giving a simple letter or card is enough to express their love.
If you are thinking about Valentine's Day, then you are right.
Yes' the 14th day of February is one of the most awaited day of romantics all over the world. It is the best day to say and express the word "I Love You."
But how did February 14th started to be celebrated as Valentine's Day? In this article, lets find out how.
Before we discuss how the celebration of Valentine's Day started, let us discuss first what happened a lot of centuries ago. The early Greeks who are known for worshiping many gods and goddesses, believed in their god named Pan. They believed that Pan is the god of shepherds and their flocks. According to the Greek's myths, Pan was born with a fully grown look, he has a beard, horns and the tale and feet of a goat. They have drawn pictures of this god, and he was depicted as a sensual, curvaceous, sexually attractive dancing creature. When the Roman Empire arise, the Roman demon god Faunus, which is also called or known as Lupercus, adopted Pan. Lupercus' wife who has a she-wolf form, Luperca, is supposed to nurse the two builders and founders of the ancient Rome city, Remus and Romulus.
There are also priests called Luperci, they are clothed in a goatskin, and they served Lupercus in his temple. In the middle of the month of February, these Luperci's went on and struck a lot of women with their goatskin thongs. They claimed that such an act will promote fertility. After this, a spring love festival was created and the celebration of the festival included a lottery where young women are given out to men. The young women's names are put in a box, shaken, and it is being drawn by men. This went celebration went on for centuries.
Then something happened in the year 270 CE, on February 14 that year, Valentine, a young Roman lad was beaten up and later on beheaded because he won't declare himself leaving Christianity. But before he died, he left a note to a little girl who befriended him, it was the daughter of the jailer who had a charge over him. On the note, there is a sign "From your Valentine." Centuries passed, for a long time, that sign only means friendship. But it got a new meaning around 1400.
Catholicism rose up and took control over Rome, but the Catholic Church absorbed the pre-Christian festivals of Greece and Rome, and it includes the spring love feast of Pan. To cover up its pagan origin, the Catholic Church named their feast as St. Valentine's Day. Aside from having a different name, they made the festival more interesting by adding some entertaining features. The previous game where women are given out to men through a draw was enlarged. Now girls are allowed to draw out men's names and the chosen man or boy will be her valentine for a year depending on her preference.
The god of fertility which they call Cupid, in the form of a blindfolded little boy and has a wing, a bow and an arrow was also introduced during the celebration of the festival. In the medieval ages, they celebrate valentine's eve and Valentine's Day with the same flirtatious and sensual way which is how the pagan festival is celebrated, but in the late centuries, to cover up the mythological origin, giving out cards with sentimental verses is introduced.
The World Book Encyclopedia gives further information and theories with regard to the origin or start of the practices during Valentine's Day.
*“According to one story, the Roman Emperor Claudius II in the A.D. 200’s forbade young men to marry. The emperor thought single men made better soldiers. A priest named Valentine disobeyed the emperor’s order and secretly married young couples. . . . Many stories say that Valentine was executed on February 14 about A.D. 269. In A.D. 496, Saint Pope Gelasius I named February 14 as St. Valentine’s Day.”*
Regardless of how the practices during Valentine's Day all started, what is clear is that it originated from paganism and as a Christian, I learned in my further studies of the bible that it is not right to celebrate or even take part in the celebration of Valentine's Day.
I don't intend to celebrate this occasion not because I am a killjoy, not because I don't have the money to buy gifts to my loved ones and not because I don't love anyone. In the bible, John 4:8 says "God is love". Clearly it is not any mythological gods or goddesses. But the almighty father in heaven.
I don't condemn those who celebrates or want to take part in the celebration of Valentine's Day, but isn't it better to express our love to our loved ones every day?
We all deserved to be loved, appreciated and remembered every day of our lives and not just because of some pagan occasions.
Contentment
I read something today which prompted me to write this article. It is a passage that says:
*“We have brought nothing into the world, and neither can we carry anything out. So, having sustenance and covering, we shall be content with these things. However, those who are determined to be rich fall into temptation and a snare and many senseless and hurtful desires, which plunge men into destruction and ruin. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of injurious things, and by reaching out for this love some . . . Have stabbed themselves all over with many pains.”*
This is a passage in the bible that warns people about the consequences of being blinded by money and other material things or possessions. It is true that people need to have money to live and get by every day, and when used wisely, it can even be a protection. In what way? We need money to buy our necessities in life such us food, clothing and house that will serve as our shelter. However, people doesn't need to live in luxuries to be able to live a happy life. We don't have to eat the most expensive foods to be full. We don't need to wear the most expensive clothing, and we don't need to fill our home with the most luxurious furniture. Furthermore, we don't need to live in the abundance of luxury, but I also don't condemn those who do and have the capacity to provide luxury for themselves and their family. My point is that, it is possible to be truly happy and contented even without the luxury. It is a matter of being contented of what we have.
However, in today's world, there are a lot of things that can cause people to be troubled and unsatisfied. Advertisements make people feel that they should have to buy new things even if we actually don't need it. There are times that media makes it look like that living a simple life is a big no. Moreover, a lot of injustice and dishonesty is rampant which makes it a challenge for some individuals to do the right thing.
But we should not allow such matters to become a disturbance to us, instead we must try to be more positive and think about up building things. Because if we don't we may be unable to find joy in the simple things.
The truth is that, even the people that posses a lot of material things and has a lot of money are not happy. Some are constantly worrying about how they could make more money thus letting the opportunities to enjoy pass by their hand. Others are worried about losing their possessions. This robs them of the chance to become contented. But a person who have a positive outlook can be very cheerful and enjoy even the small things or chances that can make him happy.
But how can a person gain the kind of contentment that will make his life as if it were a continual festival?
**How is it possible to be truly contented?**
***Recognize that happiness is not always based on our material possessions or material prosperity***. It is good to have money and material possessions but remember that it is better to have a healthy relationship with your family and have a peaceful atmosphere than having the luxurious things such as foods, clothing and furniture.
The bible says:
*"Better is a dish of vegetables where there is love than a manger-fed bull and hatred along with it.”*
*“Better is a little with righteousness than an abundance of products without justice.”*
*“Better is a dry piece of bread with which there is quietness than a house full of . . . quarreling.”*
When applied to daily living, it can help to have a happier, satisfied and contented family life.
***Build a relationship with our creator.*** Not all people will agree to this since we all have different beliefs, but personally I can say that having a good relationship with God is truly one of the ways to lead a happy and contented life.
Ignoring our creator can only lead to a restlessness and struggles because those who ignores him falls into pursuing more material possessions without even being thankful of what they already have. Sometimes, they don't even care if they can already ruin other people as long as they can get what they want. And as a result, their life becomes empty and frustrating. But a person with a good relationship with God will always consider other people. And even when they experience adversities in life, he trusts that God will never abandon him and will provide for him.
As a conclusion, contentment will help us avoid the frustrations, the emptiness and pains in life that is caused by pursuit of material things. We can be able to cope with the negative circumstances, and it is possible to be able to find happiness and even make others happy.
Job Satisfaction
Nowadays a lot of people are suffering because of the COVID-19 pandemic, employees suffers from those consequences as well. I heard about a big number of people being laid off from their job and if you are one of those, you will surely feel frustrated. While a lot of people are battling and suffering from the consequences of unemployment, a lot of employees on the other hand are also unhappy about their job. Some are not really satisfied and can't feel the joy they once felt after hearing the words *"you're hired*".
Others only goes to work for the sake of getting paid off at the end of the month, but they don't really enjoy the job and as a result, they feel suffocated and most of the time, they don't even feel like going to work anymore. But why do some workers or employees feel this way? Why can't they enjoy their job?
Sometimes the reason why an employee is no longer satisfied of his job is because it is already **toxic**. Toxic in a way that he can no longer enjoy the other things in life because his job is eating away all his time so can't go on vacation, spend time with his family or even eat with them and being unable to enjoy some leisure time. This happened to me about 6 years ago, I had a stable and high paying job at a certain company, it was very fulfilling at first, I love how I can meet and deal with various people each day, I was one of the great performers among the employees and the bosses really like me. And because I became a valuable asset of the team, I was forced to go to work ahead of the others in the team, and I was also forced to work 12 hours or more each day, so I practically lived in the office. I can barely go home, I can't enjoy the holidays and I can't go on vacations. So I thought *"what's the use of getting a high paying job if I can't even enjoy the money I'm earning?",* as a result I was no longer motivated to work, my performance became poor, and I only went to work because I can't find a new job yet. Sad to say, there are also employees out there who feels the same way I did back then.
Aside from feeling the toxicity in their job, what else can make an employee feel unsatisfied in their job? The **lack of appreciation**. Being appreciated for a job well done can really make someone more motivated to work and appreciate their job. At the same company I worked five years ago, I was deeply appreciated by my superiors when I was just a neophyte on the job. I was also rewarded for my accomplishments and that made me really motivated to do a better job. Even when I was asked to render more time than is written on the contract, I was still happy to do it because I enjoy what I'm doing and my good performance is also well appreciated. However, a year after that, I was transferred to a new manager and the new manager is far from how the previous one is. I usually render more time at work, but it was not recorded and my over times are never paid. So I just decided to resign right there and then.
Moreover, a lot of workers also find their job unsatisfying because they are **not getting paid for what they work for**. They are paid with a lower amount than they should be paid for. Some resigns to find a satisfying job with a reasonable pay.
Some said that if you have a job, you should be happy and satisfied, but that is not the case for most employees. Nowadays, the number of employees or workers who are not satisfied with their job is increasing. And this is not just limited to regular employees, but it ranges from executives down to unskilled workers.
So if you feel unsatisfied in your job, remember that you are not alone. A lot of people are feeling that way too and this is an important issue because it does not only affect the individual but the entire work force and production as well. Imagine if one or more employees at a company with 20 employees does not go to work in a day because of lack of motivation, a lot of work will be pending and some work load will be passed on the present workers which will be quite a burden for them. Let's be honest, if you will be required to do more work which is supposed to be done by another worker who didn't come to work just because he or she is unsatisfied of his job, what would you feel? Honestly, I would be annoyed and dismayed by that and maybe in the future, if I keep being obliged to do it over and over again, I would also feel unsatisfied and disappointed with my job.
Job dissatisfaction often leads to absenteeism. This very common among the young employees. In another company I previously worked with, I had colleagues with ages 19-23 who are really prone to making absences. They usually fail to go to work even during the most crucial days that we badly need workforce. This usually affects us and the entire team.
You Can Do Something!
But can we do something for us to be satisfied of our jobs? Definitely! First, you have to realize that when you applied for a specific job and was hired to do it, you have the responsibility to do it. You need to work for what you are being paid for, you must take pride in doing what you are paid to do.
If you are not satisfied with our job, try to find one that will suit and is in line with what you enjoy doing. When you enjoy what you do, and you have the passion to do it, you are more likely to find satisfaction in your job. Sometimes, the wage doesn't matter. No matter how big your wage is, if you are not enjoying what you do, you are bound to be unsatisfied in the end. So before you apply for a job, make sure that you will not regret applying for it in the end.
Once you found a job or a work that you really find satisfying, you'll be more motivated to go to work and that ends a job dissatisfaction.
Sometimes, the problem is not the work itself, your workmates or colleagues and any other external factors but yourself. You just have to have the right mindset, so you can be more satisfied with your job. Try to cultivate a more positive outlook of your job and ponder on the reasons why you need to have that job. Think about it, the job that you are not satisfied with may be the dream job of other people, so try to value your job more.
Furthermore, if you can't do something to make your work more satisfying, interesting and rewarding, try to make your life outside work more interesting instead. If you do that, you will be rewarded of love, respect and satisfaction you might be looking for. Once you feel joy and satisfaction outside work, you might be able to forget the stress and unsatisfaction you find in your job.
Insecurities
Jeremy is a 14-year-old teenager who feels too shy around new people. One time, his parents brought him to a corporate party where they introduced him to their business partners. He's too uncomfortable and barely shake the hands of those businessmen. When his parents are having a long talk with their new business partner, Jeremy silently went outside and just stayed at a gazebo where he can't see any guest coming. He just stayed there and played mobile games until he received a phone call from his mom. "Oh if I only know how to drive, I would've just grabbed dad's car and went home than stay here", Jeremy thought before going back inside.
Ariane is a pretty 16-year-old girl, but she has a very low self-esteem. One time her teacher ask her to be the representative of their class for an upcoming mini pageant at their school and her classmates also believe that she'll win it, but Ariane is not confident about doing it and the thought of facing the entire school body makes her cringe.
What does these two have in common? They are bought suffering from insecurities.
Does the fear of losing or not being able to succeed hinders you from doing the things you love doing, or you want to do? Do you feel jealous about the success of others? Do you usually think about and feel worried about what others might think of you? Perhaps do you feel awkward about meeting new people or feels shy to introduce yourself? Do you feel hurt when others say something negative about you? Then you might be dealing with having insecurities. Where does insecurity come from? Is there a way to overcome insecurities?
So let's talk about insecurity. Insecurity is universal. All of us are born as imperfect humans, so we have the tendency to feel insecure and useless at times. Young people or teenagers are the most prone to having this negative feeling. Why? Because a teenager is still young and vulnerable, they easily feel insecure and not confident about doing things that is unfamiliar to them.
While people of various ages feels insecure from time to time, in this article I will mainly pertain to the younger people when talking about people with insecurities. Teenager are at the most vulnerable stage of life, they always worry about their looks, whether they are popular, likeable and easily gets shy. But why does most teenagers feel this way? The reason is that they experience a stage in their life where they are experiencing a lot of changes in their body. Changes which they have no control over and these affect a teenager's view of himself/herself.
One factor that affects our confidence is our environment. Families are expected to provide emotional support and guidance, but sometimes, there are parents who fail to do this. Instead of providing support to their children, they become the source of criticisms and some withholds a simple commendation and affection to their children. This is the sad truth in today's world. A parent's unreasonable criticism may cause heartbreak to a teenager's vulnerable heart and insecurity.
Insecurities may also become worse when someone also receives constant teasing about his or her weakness. For example being teased because of having pimples may lead someone to think that he or she is ugly even though that is bot the case. Being told dumb at home will make someone think that he or she is not art enough to perform better in school.
Yes, being insecure and lacking self-confidence at times is universal. A lot underwent it and some are experiencing it up to this moment, it's because we are all imperfect human beings and feeling inadequate and worthless at times is just normal. Specially with young people or teenager, since they are still young, inexperienced and vulnerable, it's natural to feel uneasy about doing unfamiliar and new things.
The people you associate ypurself with also plays a role. There might be some associates who will undermine your self-confidence by constantly criticizing, or teasing because of how you look and act. Just like my friend's experience before, he was being constantly bullied by his family members and housemates because he has a lot of pimples. They call him names because of that and as a teenager, it really hurts him being called names and being teased because of the way he looks.
**How to Avoid Insecure Feelings**
Whatever the reason may be, and what caused it, insecurity is just a part of growing up and time will come that you can be more confident.
Here are some of the steps that can help someone to overcome the feelings of insecurity and be more confident.
***Acknowledge the positive qualities you already have or posses*****.** Perfection can never be achieved since no human being is perfect, so embrace yourself as you are. Embrace your inner beauty, and it will help you view yourself more positively.
***Don't compare yourself to others***. Comparing will not only make you lose confidence, sometimes it can also make you feel irritated. Does being jealous of someone else that is better than you, smarter than you, or prettier than you makes him or her better than you? Of course not! Everyone is unique. Think about it, the qualities that you hate about yourself, or you're unaware that you have, may be the quality that someone is being jealous of as well.
***Make Friends***. In Proverbs 13:20, the bible says: The one who walks with the wise will become wise. So try to make good friends who will bring out the best in you, friends who will help you cultivate good attitudes and will help you and gives you support during times of adversity.
***Change your attitude***. There are some people who are beautiful or handsome, but they still think that they are ugly, while there are other people who are not that attractive, but they think highly of themselves and says they are pretty or handsome. Attitude matters to be more confident.
***Don't be afraid of criticisms***. Don't let people's negative words affect you, specially if those words are only meant to put you down. But if people give legitimate criticisms or constructive, apply it and make some changes in you in accordance to the criticism given.
When you learn to embrace your flaws and appreciate the positive in you, you will see your true value. And one more thing is that, God values us so much. Be more confident in yourself!
Anger
John grew up in a household where he observed and often hear how his parents fight. They are also not the best parents as they would often beat him up even for his simple mistakes. This continued for quite a long time and as a result he held a grudge against his parents and when he is not at home he will show his true self to others. Once when he was in school, his classmate Barry borrowed his book without his permission. When John found out about it, he burst in anger and beat his classmates as well. Moreover, there are many incidences when John wasn't able to control his anger and would always end up getting into fights with his peers. He even slammed his table after his teacher left because he felt embarrassed when the teacher told him that his answer is wrong.
As time goes by, things got worse. But there was a time in his life when he decided to change. He attended counselling and seek for a professional advice, so he could control his anger. He was able to change for quite some time.
Now John is already married and the things he observed when he was young, though he hates it before, that's what he also does now. It all started when Samantha, his wife came home 15 minutes later than the usual time she comes home from work. When she tried to explain, John slammed the table so hard and when Samantha tried to explain, he yelled and nearly hurt her. The next day, John apologized, but the same incidences was repeated over and over again, and it continued for quite some time. There are instances when John would just pound the dinner table even in front of their daughter, he would drive so fast and wild and would get mad at other drivers and one time he even yelled at his boss, so he ended up getting fired from his work.
Unfortunately, this scenario realistically happens to other people too. Some people find it really hard to control their anger.
Well, is it wrong to be angry? Not at all. It is just normal to feel aggravated when someone does something offending against us. We are all imperfect humans, so it is just normal to lose our temper and get angry. Even the meekest person can get angry when aggravated, and it's okay as long as such anger is being controlled. Even the perfect man Jesus became angry when he was still on earth. He got angry when he saw that the house of his father, the temple, are used by businessmen as a place to do business. So it is okay to feel mad at times.
Uncontrolled anger is what makes anger unjustified. When anger is uncontrolled it results to negative consequences. Misunderstandings between friends, divorce, broken families, losing one's job and worst, committing a crime are usually the consequences of uncontrolled anger.
When anger is uncontrolled, a simple yelling or shouting will lead to shoving someone. A simple pointing of finger towards someone will lead to poking which results to bruises and later on, it will lead to worst case scenario, it can be slapping, punching, kicking, pulling of hair and other worse physical way of hurting someone.
Yes, anger is a normal emotion people feel, but uncontrolled anger doesn't yield good result, so it is vital to always control our anger.
**How To Control Anger**
Some people who previously have anger management issues are able to control their anger. What can help us to control this negative emotion?
***Before you react, think***. Most of the time, our impulse is to react as soon as someone aggravated us or does something irritating. And when we react while we are still angry, we often say the most nasty words or even hurt someone physically. So when someone made you mad, don't react first, try to count 1-20 and think of reasons why you should just let it pass. Maybe it's not something serious to waste your energy in becoming angry.
***Relax. Calm down and relax***. When you are calmed, you are more likely to control your anger and not react violently. Apply relaxation methods such as breathing in and out and taking deep breaths. Engaging in activities you love doing can also help you relax, try to read more, listen to music, write, do walking and biking or gardening.
***Manage your expectations***. When you have too high expectations, you are more likely to feel disappointed, and it can trigger the anger within you. Before, I used to really get mad and disappointed whenever I have a schedule with a few close friends because they always came late. So I've set my mind that they will never be early, I'm the usual early bird, so I try to make ways for me not to get bored while waiting for them. I usually brought a book with me when I have appointments so when the person is coming late, I have a book I can read while waiting.
Like mentioned previously, we are all imperfect, so we have the tendency to be angry. But it depends on us how we express this negative emotion. Are we going to wrathful and suffer the consequences of uncontrolled anger or are we going to control our anger and express our emotion in a more positive way? It is our choice.
Three Secrets To A Happy Marriage
Movies, novels and fairy tales always ends in 'happily ever after' once the main characters gets married. But the wedding day is not the end, it is just the start of a new life. Life together as a married couple. Marriage is not always full of rainbows and butterflies, just like a song lyrics says, instead it is full of ups and downs that a couple needs to deal with. Once they are able to deal with all the ups and downs, the problems, then that's the time they could that they can say they are truly happy.
Marriage is when two imperfect people cohabit and lives together in accordance with the law of man and law of God. Since two imperfect people are together, they have to deal with their imperfection together and that's where the challenge starts. A husband and a wife can only see each other's negativities once they are already living together in one roof, unlike when they are just boyfriend-girlfriend.
I had a talk with my mom during her last visit at my house. I asked her how's dad doing, and it led to a deep talk where I asked her how she and dad managed to stay together after all these years, they've been together for about 41 years now and their marriage is one of the best I have ever observed. It's not that they didn't encounter any problem while raising me and my siblings, but because they stick together no matter what. They always try to fix any misunderstanding though they seldom have those - theirs is the kind of relationship I want to have with my future wife.
According to mom, here's their secrets to how they stick together after all those years.
**Commitment**
Imagine, you are on a boat or a ship one stormy night, you need to keep the boat steady to keep yourself safe and to keep you going to your destination safely. What can help you? You need to have an anchor. In marriage, commitment is like an anchor.
It will keep their relationship steady even during the stormiest times of their married life. When they are truly committed to their marriage, even during the hardest times, they will choose to honor their union and stay together no matter how hard it is. And they do it because of respect and mutual love.
*"If you are truly committed to your marriage, even if your spouse wronged you, you will choose to forgive quickly and apologize if needed."*
Like I've mentioned earlier, my parents also experienced problems. They faced a big problem once, but they never considered divorce as the answer. Instead, when facing problems they try to reminisce, look back, and recall what they liked about each other which led to their marriage.
She told me that even though they are already getting old, they still try to make their love for each other in flame. Dad writes a love letter for her from time to time, they go on dates together, and they tell each other sweet words even if we already find it '*gross*'. That's how committed they are with each other.
Teamwork
Marriage requires teamwork. It requires two people to work together to make it a success. Whenever problems comes, instead of trying to solve it alone, couples must do their best to resolve it together. The word 'we' is vital because it will make the both of you not to act in accordance to what you want but in accordance to what the both of you agree with.
*"Marriage means teamwork. If we are not a team, then we are not husband and wife, but roommates. We always try to come in agreement together. When it comes to money matters, what he earns is mine and what I earned is his, meaning it is both 'ours'. When thinking about relaxing, we always consider each other as well, so we often go on dates to relax together."*
When misunderstanding arises, your priority is not to prove who is at fault and who's not, but your priority must be how to clear up the misunderstanding and have peace.
**Respect**
Respect is what holds the marriage. Even when you don't agree to what your spouse wants, always show respect. Showing respect also shows how much you care for each other. Instead of getting all mad and making the conflict worse, try to think in your spouse' shoes, it will help you understand his or her point of view. Even if you don't agree, or it may not be the most brilliant idea for you, try to compromise sometime. It will move your spouse to compromise as well the next time you come to a disagreement.
*"To show how much I respect your dad, I never try to show my disagreement when there are other people around, instead I talk to him about it when it's just the two of us. Even if he is not around, I never badmouth him by telling others about his negative traits, that how I show that I genuinely respect him as the head of the family."*
But make sure to not just think that you respect your spouse, you have to make him or her feel it too. Simple gestures that shows your respect will let them feel it and that's what matters the most.
At the end of the day, your marriage is still not perfect since in the first place, both you and your spouse are imperfect. But if you try to apply these three simple secrets, your married life will be a lot better, and you'll learn to value your marriage more. And I want to thank my mom for sharing these secrets which I think will be valuable for me when I marry the girl I love.
Gratitude
A writer once wrote:
*"Why can't a bride find the time to write a thank you note for the 163 presents she received during the wedding when she can actually find the time to address 200 wedding invitations?"*
This is to address the issue of ingratitude in today's world. The word '**thank you**'can be easily uttered, but oftentimes it is not a sincere expression. Most of the time, that simple phrase even goes unsaid. In some cases, gratitude is being replaced with flattery. Flattery are words that are said without being sincere, and it is mostly exaggerated. It may be due to an ulterior motive to gain a personal advantage. Nowadays, not all people are thankful. If you show an act of kindness to ten people, only few of them will mos probably express their gratitude.
How about you? Are you a grateful person? Or have you ever met someone who acts like he is entitled to everything that he have, and doesn't feel thankful for he receives. It doesn't feel nice to be around such person right? So it is really important to cultivate the spirit of gratitude and be thankful for everything, even the simple acts of kindness showed to us.
**Reasons why it's good to cultivate gratitude**
**It can help you to maintain a positive view of yourself**. The more you sincerely give thanks, the more you'll feel good about yourself, thus it can contribute to you having a positive mindset. And it is not only us who feels good when we give thanks, the person who receives it will feel better as well. Consider this: when you realize that someone really cares for you, is willing to do something for you and makes you feel that it is worth to make efforts for you, you'll feel good. You'll feel good because someone cares. And when you express a gratitude towards that person, he'll also feel that all his efforts didn't go in vain and that feels good too.
**Being thankful can draw people together and strengthen relationship.** Gratitude can also make us gain true friends. Most people will agree that they like to feel being appreciated, so when we give a sincere thanks to someone who showed kindness to us, we are more likely to be drawn to each other.
**Being grateful will move you to be helpful.** When you are a grateful person, you will always notice even the smallest acts of kindness shown towards you. And when you notice those kindnesses expressed to you, it'll have a domino effect, you'll be moved to be kind in return - it may be towards the person who showed kindness or to other people.
**Cultivating the spirit of gratitude will help you to focus on the positive.** When you are a thankful person, you'll be most likely to eliminate negativity because your mind will make you concentrate and focus on the positive things, and you'll pay a little attention to problems. Thus, the more thankful you are, the more you'll see the positive aspects of things around you, and it will make you even more grateful. As a result, you more likely to be happy.
A Harvard mental health letter article says: “gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. It helps people relish good experiences, feel more positive emotion, deal with adversity, build strong friendship and improve their health."
This passage shows the positive effects or benefits of being thankful. It doesn't only benefit our emotional well-being, but it also includes our mental and physical health. So it is really vital to make gratitude a part of our daily lives.
Yes, we would love to be a grateful person and gain the benefits from doing so. We want to express our gratitude to people who do something good and shows us acts of kindness. But there is someone we should be most grateful to - God. God gives us many physical gifts every day, he continues to provide us with our needs - both physical and spiritual needs. He gives us the gift of life every day which is the most that we should be thankful of. How he is indeed! So why not ponder on the unending blessings and goodness you receive from him? When we meditate on our creator's generosity, we will be moved to appreciate him more and feel how much he loves and cares for us. And aside from just pondering on his generosity towards us, why not give a sincere thanks to him in prayer too?
A bible text says: ***"give thanks to God, for he is good."***
So count the blessings you received from him, ponder on the positive experiences you have in life and practice being grateful instead of taking the good things for granted! Thank you for reading!
When Negative Feelings and Depression Hits You
All throughout her life, Janna has struggled because of negative feelings. As a young girl, she was sexually abused by his step father. When she became a teenager, she run away from home and lived with her boyfriend, but he also abused her later on, this time Janna was abused physically. Those tragic experiences made her lose her self-respect and she felt like she's completely useless.
At a young age of six, Sally has witnessed her parent's constant fighting, throwing harsh and hurtful words towards each other. When she's already nine years old, her parents finally decided to get a divorce, so Sally grew up in a broken family. She witnessed how her mom turned into an alcoholic after the divorce and as a result she neglected Sally and her brother. Whenever she thought about how unfortunate her life is, she thinks like she's not worth much, and she would rather die than to continue living.
John lose his entire family - his wife, three daughters and his son when a fire broke out in their neighborhood. He was on a business trip when it happened and to his horror when he received the news about them. He feels devastated and doesn't feel like living.
Emily came from a family of doctors. Her mom is an OB-gyne specialist, her dad is a surgeon and her two brothers are both medical students. But she's not as smart as them, and she wants to become a singer instead of following the path that her parents are trying to pave for her. Emily's constantly being pressured to get high grades, scolded for not being a top student. At the age of 15 she already attempted suicide twice.
These four people have something in common. They battle with negative emotions, feel so bad about their situation that they don't want to live anymore.
Sadly, these scenarios also happen in real life. There are people who feel sad, hopeless and suffers from anxiety and depression and they most probably think that the only way to escape the situation and to end their suffering is to commit suicide and die. We can't judge those people though, especially if we do not know how much they suffer because there are traumatic and unfortunate events that can make life seem so hard and unbearable. These people usually carry a burden where they wonder whether someone even cares about them or is life still worth living.
According to studies, men are most likely to commit a suicide because many of them are too ashamed to tell others about how they feel, and they are too embarrassed to ask for anyone's help, even from the people closest to them. Some experts also says that the feeling of inadequacy usually submerge when people made someone feel like they are worthless. Feeling worthless is a result of abusive exploitation and excessive harsh criticisms. It may also come from constant berating. Whatever the reason may be, the result is destructive as it can be the cause of someone's depression or worst, it might mean their life.
**It's worth to live than to die**
But despite any negative feelings and unfavorable circumstance we are in, if we suffer from depression, is life still worth living? Of course!
If you feel like no one cares for you, remember that there is someone who is very interested in your welfare, deeply cares for you and loves you. God. God may not take away all our anxieties and problems as fast as we like it to, but he assures us in his written word that if we make known to him all our anxieties and worries along with the feelings pf gratitude and a thankful heart through prayers, he will surely answer it. He may not answer our prayer right away, but he will give us the peace of mind that will help us endure. He assures us in his written word that he loves us, and we are his precious children. So when you feel like no one cares, remember that God does.
**What Can Help**
**Don't be afraid or ashamed to talk to someone about how you feel**. Talk to a trusted individual who can listen to all your worries. Sometimes, talking is like a breath of fresh air, even though your trusted individual can't help you remove all the negativity in you, the fact that someone wants to listen feels wonderful.
**If you can really talk about your feelings to other people, then pray.** For me, prayer has always been the best option, it's like a mind therapy. Once I've already made known to him all my problems and worries, it feels like baggage has been removed off my chest.
**Seek for a medical help.** If you already tried the first and second option mentioned then you might consider the thought of checking with a specialist who can help and perhaps prescribe a medicine that can help you treat your depression.
Anxiety, negative feelings and depression is not easy to deal with but always remember that if you feel like dying, death is not the answer to your problems.
The Power of Words
Did you ever give a gift to your loved one? What if that loved one deliberately misused your gift? Say that you gave a luxurious sports car to him but later on you found out that the person recklessly drove the car, and it caused injury not just to him but to others too. How would you feel about that? Would you be happy or disappointed?
God gave us the gift of being able to utter intelligible speech. Every human being has this gift which makes us different from animal. The ability to speak is what enables people to convey their thoughts, emotions and feelings. But just like a car or a vehicle, the gift of speech can also be misused and might hurt others. How would the God who gave us that gift would feel? He would surely be very disappointed.
So we should make sure to use our speech ability in a good way. Meaning, we should guard our 'tongue' or the way we speak in a way that will not cause pain to others. Why so? The way we speak and the words we utter is so powerful that it can either make or break a person. A proverb say that a twisted speech can cause despair while calm tongue is a tree of life. This means that when we speak calmly and kindly, it can sooth and even make someone feel refreshed. But if we speak using harsh words, it can even make someone depressed.
*A woman lives with her three children, which she raise alone. The eldest is a boy and loves playing with other kids outside. The second child is a girl, she seldom goes outside the house. One day, she went out with his brothers friends to go biking around the neighborhood and after an hour, her brother's friends came rushing to their house and told their mom that the girl was hit by a car. As a mother, their mom was really worried thinking that something bad has happened to her daughter. But soon, the other children were on the floor laughing so hard because they've successfully pranked their friend's mom. Soon after the incident, the woman's blood pressure went too high because of worrying and still thinking about the bad joke the kids just told her. She suffered from a heart attack, good thing the neighbors are there to help her.*
This experience shows how destructive thoughtless words are. So before you open your mouth and utter something, always keep in mind how powerful words are. Uttering thoughtless and harsh words towards someone is like stabbing that person with a sword, it can cause a deep emotional wound can destroy good relationships and worst, it can even cause someone's death.
**Negative Use of Speech**
Language is part of our everyday lives and some **obscene language** have become part of people's speech. These include:
**Profanity**
**Cursing**
**Vulgar words**
Some people use obscene language for fun or to make others laugh. I've observed some comedians who use such vulgar words just to make their audience laugh.
**Slandering others through gossips**. *Some idle talks about others is not bad at all. There are some who talks about others nicely, maybe to praise someone or tell others about good news that happened to someone. If the goal of a conversation is to be able to share positive news which are helpful and encouraging, then it is a good gossip. But nowadays, some people tend to gossip about others and says slanderous things which causes damage to others, usually slander damages someone good reputation and even leads to quarrelling.*
**Abusive words and speech**. *Like what is mentioned earlier, words are so powerful that it can even hurt a person emotionally. Abusive speech usually involves harsh and evil word that is used to criticize, insult, show anger and tarnish the dignity of someone.*
As much as words can destroy a person, when used in a right way it can also be up building and encouraging. To use our gift of speech properly, we should ought to speak using positive words that are kind, wholesome, up building and encouraging. Be careful when using your gift of speech and make your creator who gave that gift really happy.
Kindness
Have you ever been treated by someone with kindness? When someone cares for us and we notice their acts of kindness, it is surely very comforting and reassuring. All of us really appreciates it when someone treats us with kindness, so how can we also develop and posses this quality?
**What Is Kindness**
Let us discuss the meaning of kindness. Kindness is a an active quality which involves showing a genuine interest in the welfare of other people. It can be expressed through acts of good deeds and considerate or helpful words. What motivates true kindness are empathy and deep love. A kind person is considerate, generous, gracious, sympathetic, and friendly.
**Being Kind is Rewarding**
**You can gain loyal friends**.
*Being kind will make us become tactful and as a result we can maintain a good relationship with people. Whenever we face a difficult or stressful situation, tactfulness will help us to handle such situation in a considerate way. We wouldn't be cruel towarss someone who offended us, instead we will try to handle it peacefully and we would be considerate of that person. So if we manifest loving-kindness at all times, people will be more likely be drawn to us, thus we could gain loyal friends.*
**You are more likely to be happier.**
*Happiness comes from giving. A kind person usually manifest kindness through giving to others and it may be in a form of material things, using our time to help others or through kimd words. Being generous will make us happier*.
**We become more forgiving.**
*When we posses kindness, we become more forgiving and compassionate towards others. When someone offended us, instead of counting the '****injury****' and taking it against the other person, we would choose to forgive them instead.*
**Kindness attracts kindness.**
*When someone shows kindness towards us, we are more likely to show kindness too and that's the same when we are the one who showed kindness to others. For example, if we are treated in kindly, it would most probably mobe us to deal with others in a kind way too. And when we do this consistently, it wouldn't be so hard for us to show kindness all the time.*
**God Perfectly Manifest Kindness**
God takes the lead in being considerate and kind. According to the bible, he is kind even to the wicked and unthankful. How so? For example, in Matthew 5:45 the bible says that God:
*“makes his sun rise on both the wicked and the good and makes it rain on both the righteous and the unrighteous.”*
Isn't this really nice? Even the people who doesn't acknowledge and believe in him still benefits from the kind provisions he provides and this makes all sorts of people really happy. Another example of his kindness, is during the time that Adam and Eve sinned against him in the garden of Eden, he still sewed or made coverings for them out of fig leaves.
And the biggest form of kindness and love he showed toward us is by giving his only begotten son to save mankind from death and for our sins to be forgiven.
We are all created in the image of God, so we have the capability to develop and ahow kindness just like him. Knowing how kind he is to us should move us to develop this beautiful quality. When we show kindness, we reflect generous and warm personality of our kind God. Hope we could all show kindness this year!
Patience
Admit it or not, it is quite a challenge to be more patient in this world we live in. The increasing pressure every day needs us to be more parient more than ever. The world we live in is surrounded by people who are selfish and tends to focus on themselves, not open for agreement and finds it hard to show self control.
But what about us? Has the impatience of others rubbed off on us? What does it really mean to be patient?
The Meaning of Patience
When we hear the word patience, we usually think about putting up with an annoying person or a trying situation. But patience is more than that. Being patient means we endure with a purpose. We consider the welfare of the person that causes the trying or disagreeable situation, in this sense we can see beyond our own needs. So when someone wronged us and even tries to provoke us, we try to do something to ng improve the disturbed or damaged relationship.
**How To Be More Patient**
Every day, we are faced with uncontrollable situations and it doesn't benefit us if we keep on worryi g about things we don't have control over.
The more patient we are, we are more likely to make good decisions, gain good friends and live a healthier life. So how to be more patient? Consider the following:
***Know what triggers you to be impatient.***
*There are the so called impatient triggers. These are the situations, things, or even people that makes or causes us to be impatient. So ask yourself, are there specific people who annoys you and try your patience? It may be your family member such as parents, children or your mate which you can call as the impatience triggers of your life. Your impatience trigger may also be related to time. For example, are you easily annoyed and lose your patience when waiting for someone whos running late? Do you usually lose your patience when you feel hungry, sleepy or tired?*
*When you are able to identify your impatience triggers, you may be able to anticipate the scenarios that might make you lose your patience and as a result you may be able to prevent being impatient.*
***Be Realistic***
*Always remember that things doesn't always happen the way we want it to and it can't be as fast as we want to. Face the reality that time doesn't move as fast as our expectations. Also, we can't always control the circumstances we are in. Instead of being anjoyed and losing patience over the circumstances that you don't have control over, identify the things that you can control. For example, instead of losing your patience when waiting for someone, why not try to do some other activities that might ease your boredom, you can try to be more productive while waiting too. Or instead of getting annoyed because the transportation to your destination takes time, why not prepare earlier so you will have sufficient time to get to your destination?*
***Make your life simple.***
*Yes, we may have the ability to do multitasking, but according to studies, our brain can't really concentrate on different things simultaneously. When continuously done, multitasking can erode our ability to pay close attention, focus and eats away patience, judgement and even problem solving.*
*When you are under stress, it is very hard to cultivate patience, so try to slow down a little and enjoy the things that you do. Set your priorities and if possible try to budget your time wisely. Don't waste your time on gadgets and hobbies if possible.*
True enough, not all people can be very patient and we might deal with impatient people from time to time. But isn't it good to deal with things with patience? That way, we can be truly happier and enjoy life more.
The Forms of Love
"*Without love, we lose the will to live." -* Smiley Blanton
Most of us will agree that being in love is one of the best feelings in the world. When you're in love ypu might even feel like you're on cloud nine.
"***What is Love***?"
When asked about this question I often hear people's answer as 'Love is blind', other say that 'it is a strong affection of a person towards another person' and Merriam-Webster dictionary defined it as 'a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person'.
While we only have one word to describe about this wonderful feeling, the ancient Greek, in their search for wisdom has four words for love - Agape, Storge, Eros and Philia. Each of these forms of love has a great impact in a person's happiness.
**AGAPE**. Love that is guided by principles. This is the highest form of love. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, the bible described love as "patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." There are good and bad principles, so for us to be happier in life we must be guided by good principles.
**STORGE**. Love within family. Storge is the Greek word that refers to the natural love or affection that flows between close relatives and family members. It does not include any physical attraction. It is the facet of love that ties parents to their children and vice versa.
**PHILIA**. The love among friends. Life without friends is indeed dull and boring. Real friends bringscolors to our life. The Greek word for friendship is philia. It does not include any sexual feeling or attraction, instead it is the form of love that demonstrates loyalty and camaraderie among friends. If combined with agape, it will help us enjoy a lasting friendship.
**EROS**. Romantic love. This is probably the most known form of love which is the feeling of attraction towards the opposite sex. This form of love is named after Eros - the Greek god of love and fertility. Eros is the beautiful idealistic love that is usually between a man and woman.
Truly, the ancient Greeks gives us in-depth understanding of the word love.
But whatever form of love it is that feel, isn't it great to show love at all times?
I hope you like this article ❤️
Be Thankful
2020 is not that great of a year for most people, not for me either compared to the past years. 2020 has been very cruel especially for those who lost their loved ones due to the COVID-19 pandemic, in other countries, while they are experiencing the pandemic, they've also experience natural calamities and other unfortunate events at the same time. 'A total 2020', probably an idiom we'll be using in the future when referring to a series of unfortunate events, a feeling or an experience that totally sucks.
Though this year is not that friendly with most of us, it is still vital to look back, reminisce and meditate on the good side of this year.
Some may have lost their loved ones, and I know how it feels to lose someone dear to you. It doesn't feel good and it is heartbreaking. But we should still be thankful that while some are battling for their lives, here we are still alive and kicking. Be thankful that we are still able to go on with life and experience the beauty of living. There is still a lot of years to come, this year may not be good, but let us pray that the coming ones will be better. Misfortunes doesn't last a lifetime, a day will come that we will be able to go back to our normal ways of living.
Most of us may have been unable to see their loved ones who lives far away from us in which we can only during the holidays, but we can't because of health protocols, lockdowns and quarantine, but let us still be thankful that we can at least see them via social media messaging apps and teleconferencing. Imagine if this happened decades ago where there is no easy access to the internet.
A lot more might still be adjusting to the new normal way of living, working from home or gaining lesser money. Still be thankful. Be thankful that you can still get by everyday, that you are still able to feed your family with complete meals, be thankful that you have a job. Others doesn't even know how to get by with merely something to feed on. Many have been laid off from their jobs md are still trying to find a way to live.
Some of us might also experienced being left behind by people that means to us. We may be heart broken for quite some time and I know that feeling. I know how hard and how painful it is. But on the brighter side, maybe those people are actually not meant to be a part of our lives. Still be thankful that they left because somewhere along the way of our life's journey, we will meet the perfect person for us. Someone who will treasure us the way we treasure them, someone who will not leave and hurt us. Be thankful that we have friends who we can count on and loves us.
There are actually a lot of things to bw thanful for if we will just open our eyes and take note even the smallest blessing we received.
Yes, 2020 is not a great year but still, there are a lot of things to be thankful for. Just focus on the positive things and hope that next year will be better.
Confession
You are perfect. If godesses are real, I'll say and I swear that you'll be one of them.
You have the most beautiful pair of orbs my eyes have ever landed upon. Your perfectly chisseled nose perfectly fits with your angelic pretty and unblemished face. I admit, I liked you first because of your physical attributes, but I loved you because you made me happy. I'm happy whenever I see you smile, the smile that makes my day. I admire you because you are a very talented lady, not in a way that you'll pass being a celebrity, but because you know a lot of things in life. You look sexy not because you are wearing pimpy clothes neither because you show a lot of skin, you look sexy because you dress modestly in a formal way. A woman doesn't need to show skin to look sexy and you are the epitome of that.
I loved you because you show genuine kindness to all sorts of people. You are not just beautiful on the outside, but on the inside too. You show good example to others and always tries to reach out. You look awesome when you carry out your responsibility as a daughter and a sister at the same time.
You bring happiness to the people around you without you knowing about it. And that's something I really like about you.
You are indeed perfect, and that's why I doubt myself. I doubt myself if I could really love you. Can I?
You are beautiful and I'm just average. You are fun and outgoing while I'm a loner. Many people loves you yet I'm just a phantom man. A phantom man that no one knows about.
Can I really love you?
I think I'm going crazy. It's crazy to think that my mind is preoccupied by you the whole day. Do I even cross your mind even for a second?
I had my phone all day, trying to text you. I typed a message but deleted it again, doing this the entire afternoon over and over again. Hesitating whether to say hi or not.
I know that you are not the type of lady that looks down on people. That's what you are. I was on cloud 9 when you talked to me. I felt ecstatic when I first saw you smile at me. But I'm just a lowly person which I think does not deserve your love. Am I worth being loved by you?
No matter how many girls I meet, they can't compare to you. Seriously, I can only think of you. This is madness, but I always compare others to you.
I'm thinking about telling you, should I? I want to tell you my feelings because if not, I feel like I'd be trapped in this unrequitted love forever.
It's past midnight, now it's almost morning but I'm still thinking about you. Good night my goddess, see you in my dreams.
Not a Christmas Eve for Me
***"Christmas is in the air.*** "
Most people say this whenever ber months starts. Many people are overwhelmed, happy and excited for christmas to come. It may be due to the joyous christmas songs they usually hear being played in the radios, malls - almost anywhere, the beautiful and flashy christmas decors, the giant christmas tree standing proud at the heart of the city with decorations that satisfies the eyes, playing in the snow, making a snowman and some are looking forward to the day of gift giving where they'll receive gifts from their loved ones. The pandemic made this year very challenging for most people, but the idea of spending christmas with the people that means to them somehow gives them hope. And maybe, all of us are hoping that things will get better few weeks from now.
It hasn't even that late since the clock strike 12. I can hear the merry voices coming from my neighborhood. Most of them are celebrating christmas with their families. But here I am, acting like the usual. Christmas is not something special for me. I'm currently in front of my computer, typing this. But don't get me wrong, though I'm spending the night alone, it doesn't mean I'm lonely, I'm not even a bit envious of how my neighbors spends time with their families during christmas eve.
Let me tell you why I don't celebrate chrismas at all.
Some may say that perhaps I'm an agnostic, an atheist or maybe I don't believe in Jesus. No. I'm not an agnostic, nor an atheist and I am a christian so I firmly believe in Jesus and that salvation will only be possible through him.
As a Christian, I studied the bible and tried to understand it, and proved to myself that what it says is true before I came to believe in it. One of the facts I learned while studying the bible is that Jesus didn't command his disciples, his followers and those who believe in him to celebrate his birth. In Luke 22:19,20 he commanded people to commemorate his death instead. That's the reason why his apostles (who are his close friends that time) and his early disciples nevee tried to celebrate Christmas. This is what 'The New Catholic' encyclopedia says:
“the Nativity feast was instituted no earlier than 243 [C.E.],” more than a century after the last of the apostles died.
Another thing is that there is no proof in history that Jesus was actually born on the 25th of December, the bible doesn't show nor say what his specific birthdate is.
My further research and studying taught me that Christmas actually came from pagan customs and rites, so I think that it's odd for real christians to celebrate this occasion which has pagan roots.
Others know that this worldwide occasion is rooted in paganism, yet they still celebrate it and questions other christians who doesn't celebrate it. They ask why it should be an issue when in fact, it just a time to be happy, at least once a year.
As I firmly believe and adhere to the principles in it, I am determined to obey whatever principle is written there.
Although I choose not to celebrate Christmas myself, I respect each person’s right to decide for himself in this matter. I don't interfere when other celebrate this occassion.
Some may say that I'm missing the so-called 'Chistmas spirit' which includes peace on earth and generosity through gift giving, but it is just a myth. As I learned in the bible, generosity and making peace should not be done occassionaly, we should do it every moment of our lives. I enjoy giving gifts even when there is no occasion or anything special. I love receiving gifts with no particular reason at all, and me and my real friends actually do it. And we also try our best to show love and be peaceable every day of our lives.
This is why I don't celebrate christmas, but I also respect the decission of other people to celebrate this occasion.
12 A.M. Thoughts
**November 27, 2020, 12:06 am**
****A Loner's Diary****
It's been exactly a year today since we stopped communicating with each other. I badly missed her so I stalked her. Nothing changed, she's still breathtakingly beautiful like before. Knowing that she's happy is more than enough for me.
I first saw her on social media a couple of years ago. She's very pretty. Well at least that's how I see her in the photos. I don't know what's with her that I couldn't take my eyes off her photo after her name popped up on the list of people I might know. She was wearing a red dress which makes her look dashing yet dignified. She's not showing a lot of skin but still looks lovely. Good thing her account was set to *public*. I went to her profile pictures first, since all I can see on her wall are shared posts and memes. This may be an embarrasing thing to say, but yes I '*stalked*' her profile, that's what millennials call it. I hope she forgive me for what I did, but I'm just a man who wants to enjoy the good things in life and that includes seeing pretty faces. Funny? I think so too.
I was working that time but I didn't mind stealing some of that time just to look at her photos. She has a pair of mezmerizing lovely orbs. She was blessed with a set of perfectly white teeth which made her smile to appear more beautiful. A smile that reaches her eyes.
I wondered if she's already taken because I don't want any complexity in life, thankfully she isn't. That makes her seem more interesting to me because I seldom meet pretty girls who aren't taken yet.
I hesitated whether to send a request or not. I want to know her more and it's now or never, so I closed my eyes and hit that 'add' button, crossing my fingers, hoping that she'll accept it. What gave me courage to do it is knowing that we have several mutual friends and that includes my two siblings. I wonder how they know this beautiful lady hmmm.
Days passed and I've been checking on my social media everyday, which I seldom do before. I'm not really a fan of social media and wasting my time just to share memes is not my cup of tea. But I have to check in everyday just to see her approval. Weeks has passed and my request is still pending. Weeks became months and I lost hope. I nearly gave up in knowing her more. She live quite far from where I'm located, so I don't have the courage yet to personally go to her. But alas! A miracle must have happened. I lazily scrouched on the chair, and opened my phone to check for an email I was expecting from a client, but instead of getting an email, a specific notification made me havr my eyes glued on the phone screen. *S********e accepted your request*. I can't contain my happiness upon seeing that notification. I nearly shouted even. After months of waiting, she finally accepted it!
I didn't hesitate and immediately messaged her, thanking her for accepting me as her online friend. She seemed nice too, the way she replied to my messages. We talked for almost two hours that day. I cracked jokes several times and she seemed to be enjoying it. I was smiling from ear to ear even after she bid her goodbye. I was anticipating that we'll talk again the next day.
We talked for months and I was feeling euphoric every time I had the chance to talk to her. Hearing her laughter over the phone sounds like music to my ears and as time goes by, I was falling, I was falling in love with her.
I'm feeling too sleepy now so I might just continue writing tomorrow.
An Afternoon Walk
**November 24, 2020**
****A Loner's diary.****
I'm feeling really bored and empty today. I get off work early, because I don't have to stay longer. I was working from home and I'm loving the set up as is. I'm living alone in a medium sized bachelor's house with a spacious garden filled with different kinds of plants, I didn't plant them, my mom visits every two months and attends to those plants. Sometimes I tell her that she probably loves those plants more than me but she would just laugh and slap my arms for not looking after those plants. The neighborhood is quite good, I've met some real nice folks during some of my rare afternoon walks. Across the street lives Mr. and Mrs. Hawkins who are probably at their 70s, they have a dog named Terry which for some reason doesn't bark at all, or maybe he does but I just can't hear it. To the left lives an Asian family, I'm not sure whether they're Chinese or Korean though. And I've also met this David guy who looks more like a nerd than me.
I have this feeling of emptiness today for some unknown reasons so I decided to go outside for a bit and get a breath of fresh air. Maybe I could drop by the supermarket and get back home before dusk. I was contemplating whether to ride my bicycle or just go for a walk. In the end, I decided to go for a walk and take a stroll in the neighborhood.
Grabed a bottle of water, locked my door, kept the keys in a safe place on my garden and off I go.
I met Mrs. Hawkins and we had a little chat, bid her goodbye and I continue to walk. I walk and walk without any destination in mind. I was just enjoying the moment. Did I told you that the neighborhood is one of the cleanest neighborhood I have ever seen? Yeah, that's the reason why I decided to move here. There are pine trees planted near the road and the landscape is just awesome. I continued to walk until I reached a park with a giant crape myrtle tree in the middle with blossoms that looks like purple to me. There are also a couple of unoccupied benches which seemed to be inviting me to sit down. Without any second thoughts, I settled myself to one of the benches and took a sip from the bottle of mineral water I brought with me.
It was nearly sunset and I can feel the gentle touch of breeze. Ah this is life! Now I don't regret going outside even for a short period of time.
Moments passed and I was astonished to see a group of pigeons who landed just a meter away from me. I was sitting still and not moving an inch as I'm afraid I might shoo them away. They look so beautiful that I had the urge to feed them but to my dismay, I realized that I only have a bottled water with me.
So I diverted my attention and busily admired the beauty of the place instead and even imagined how great it would be to see some children playing in that park. I wonder why there isn't a single kid today, hmm? I gawked in space and didn't realize that I already fall asleep, not until a small ball hit my forehead. Ouch! I get up and looked left and right. Culprit spotted! A little boy, probably 5 or 6 years old is staring at me and gestured me to give him his toy. I didn't budge, I just stared at him. He run towards me. "Mr. I'm sorry for accidentally hitting you, can you give me my ball please?" Alright, he's begging and I'm not the evil adult not to forgive him. "Make sure to be careful next time, okay?" He nodded and ran.
I sighed and realized it's already late. It's nearly dusk so I need to hurry and go to the supermarket. I took a glance of the park one more time and off I go. I'll make sure to come back here some time this week.
***Hello everyone, I don't know what to write here but I feel like sharing my afternoon walk experience. I know it's lame and boring so forgive me for that. I just want to freely express myself here and I think this community is really cool. Maybe I'll just publish my daily journals here. What's your say hmmm?***
Hi! I'm Loner, and this is my first Article
Sitting in the corner alone. Looking over the glass wall and watching the people walking back and forth. As strange as it may seem, I love watching people, sometimes even counting them while sitting at my favorite corner of this coffee and cake shop. I would seldom bring a good book to read while I'm sipping my favorite caramel macchiato paired with a slice of custard cake. While doing this, I would watch people, their facial expressions, their gestures and make my deductions. Aha, that girl is frowning and looks pissed while talking to someone over the phone, tilted her head sideways and spotted a man in his twenties. Probably her boyfriend, the man grabbed her wrist, they started to argue... Hmmm. Looks like I'm going to witness another break up scene. My lips twitched so I averted my gaze, I'm afraid I'll end up laughing so hard if I continue to watch the scene. I'm a loner but I'm not a weirdo.
Okay, so I just gave you a peek of how my daily life goes on each day. Yes, I'm a loner, I have several friends I can count on my left hand, but I prefer to be alone all the time. I prefer living in solitude. I want a solidary life but it doesn't mean I don't socialize. I also have my socialization time maybe once or twice a month. I'm not really sure, probably not.
How did I learn about this site?
I was on the subway train this morning, there's no available seat so I just stand along with five people, what caught my attention is that girl standing in front of me which is probably five inches shorter than me. She was busily staring at her phone while unaware that I was staring at her. I can't tell whether she's pretty or not because she's wearing a mask. We're both wearing a mask. But I can tell you she has pretty eyes and a pale white complexion. I was staring at her the whole ride. The train stopped and a sveral people went in, someone accidentaly budged at her which made her changed positions. She's now standing with her back facing me. She's still busy with her phone. Since she's only 10 inches awats from me and she's short, I can see what she's doing with her phone. It's not my intention to peep but I can't help myself. I saw her browsing on a site I never heard or browsed before. It says read.cash and she's reading some sort of articles. I was curious so I noted the name of the site in my head.
So that's how I learned about read.cash. I just fed my curiosity so I made an account as well. I'm not a good writer though, so I'm not sure if I can even publish articles. But I'm a good reader. I love books and I think that's what will make me stay here.
I can see that there are more than 40,000 users and I bet no one would even notice me. Just like in real. I'm a phantom man, people tends to forget my name five minutes after telling them what my name is, and maybe that's what's going to happen while I'm on this online platform too. But I'll just be here, being a loner as usual.
@Loner