How do you respond to "I love you."?

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Avatar for rayselp
2 years ago

How do you respond when your life partner tells you "I love you."? I have here four most common responses:

A. I love you, too.

B. I love you more.

C. Thank you.

D. I love you, always.

In this article, I will discuss what these replies mean only based on my knowledge. Disclaimer: I am not telling you that how I interpret these replies means the same to your other half. But, I'm still sharing it anyway.

A. I love you, too.

I think this is the classic reply to when someone tells you "I love you." because why not? It is common for couples to say this automatically as a response because it's the truth you - both love each other, thus, the word "too" is there. But one of my friends told me that she doesn't approve when she utters I love you to her special someone, and that someone replies with an "I love you, too." Why? Because for her, she thinks that replying with a "too" means that the other person only loves her because she loves him. Again, a common response that when someone tells you Nice to meet you.", the polite answer is "Nice to meet you, too."

I am not saying that there's something wrong with that particular response, but it's something to think about. After she shared that with me, I've been very careful on how to respond with a loved one telling me that he/she loves me. This is something to ponder.

B. I love you more.

To start off, let's be clear... love should not be measured. I have to learn this the hard way. I thought that whatever I can offer as a lover should also be the same as my partner. Under this thinking, when you do certain things for him/her out of love, you would expect that he/she will also do the exact same thing for you... But that's not the case. Each person has a particular manner of showing his/her love. You may already know that 5 different love languages - words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch/intimacy, service, and giving of gifts.

When you begin to tell the other person that you love him/her more, what do you mean? Are you competing with him/her and telling him/her that you can do much better? Or in other situations, this means a call of desperately wanting to be with the person because of the fear of losing him/her.

I am not saying that this is bad, however, what I think is that love shouldn't be measured, because, in the first place, the two people in the relationship are different in many ways. To one person in the relationship, he/she thinks that the "more" in his/her I love you is because he/she is giving way too much for the relationship, when in fact, the other person in the relationship thinks that what he/she is giving is tantamount to what his/her partner is giving to him/her. It's so hard to explain, so, the bottom line is, love should not be measured.

C. Thank you.

Do you feel bad when you utter I love you, and the other person will respond with a "Thank you."? To most people, when this is the response, he/she might think that the other person doesn't share the same love or affection he/she is feeling towards him/her. Responding "Thank you" to an "I love you" has had its wrong connotation because that's what society is dictating.

But come to think of it, saying Thank you is not that bad at all. Why? There are some people who have difficulty expressing themselves in words. I have one friend who told me that he doesn't respond an "I love you" to an "I love you" right away until he feels that he really does. See? He is just being true to himself, and to his partner. When you utter these words often that always come with an expected response, it somehow kinda loses its meaning. I know this is harsh, but this is the reality.

D. I love you, always.

Out of the four choices, this is my most favorite response to an "I love you.". It's either the other person responds with an "I love you." or better yet with an "I love you, always." Why "always" is the best (for me), because I think that "always" surpasses the word "forever". It's not that I don't believe in forever, it just means that I believe in the reality that I can and will love a person daily even when that person becomes unlovable on that day.

An "always" is like a day-to-day reminder that you choose to love him/her despite everything that will hinder you from doing so... in happiness and in sadness, in joy and in sorrow, even in hurting times and heartaches... The "always" in "I love you, always" is a daily commitment of being with the person, loving him/her until your very last breath.

There are other ways on how to respond to an "I love you.", my interpretation of the ones shown above may not be the same as the rest, but I just hope for one thing... that when someone says "I love you." to you, you should respond in whichever way that you like, remembering that that response should be truthful, honest, and sure.

Thank you for reading!

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Avatar for rayselp
2 years ago

Comments

Reading your article made me remember my ex who always say that word to me and my reply was just 2 or thanks.😁 I know it was not good. I cannot utter those words to him because I was not really in love with him. Everytime he said I Love you to me, I always felt the guilt. That's why I broke up with him. For me, the word I Love You is sacred. I always make sure that when I utter that words, I really mean it.

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2 years ago

Saying I love you should be heartfelt, sincere, and true. So, I guess it's better to break up than staying in a relationship without feeling any love. Thank you for reading and commenting!

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2 years ago

Hello.

While I am reading this, I realized that yes there maybe something we need to learn when someone says i love you. It seems that I've been doing it wrong for the whole time. 🤣

But yes, for me you are right. I'll agree with saying i love you, always than the other three answers you gave.

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2 years ago

Thank you for the kind words and for writing a comment, it means a lot. :)

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2 years ago

You have made strong and valid points although all the responses are relative to the responder at all times, I believe that this article goes a long way in educating us on the things of love because we have misused that statement for so long.

I would go with the last response because it truly shows how or what the love you are professing means to you. Thank you for sharing this.

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2 years ago

Thank you for appreciating my post. I also agree with you that the responses are relative to the responder, but when you've become the responder to such, one thing should be put in mind - to respond with an honest and truthful answer... :)

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2 years ago

That is the most important thing, being truthful about whatever response you are giving.

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2 years ago

While I'm reading this, it's really interesting since it's a new for me. Thank you for sharing this, I got some ideas. Yes its always depend of a person on how to react and to understand of the responses.

More articles and God bless.🙏

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2 years ago

Hi! While I'm writing this, I also thought of how my responses have evolved over time. It's time to learn something new, but the bottom line is, that when we respond, it should always be true. :) Thanks and God bless you!

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2 years ago