Letter to my left side
My dear heart, you have always been the one who gave me meaning. If you weren't so beautiful, I wouldn't be so compassionate and emotional now.
My heart has always chosen the right one. Despite everything...
I know I couldn't take care of you very well. With my inexperience, I made the same mistake with my eyes. I cried a lot and hurt you a lot. Some were right, but some were really unnecessary.
Back then, I was always looking outside. Who thinks what about me? Who cares how much? Who criticizes me in what way? Who left me and why?
I used to listen to these a lot, so I know best what restless days and nights you've had. Most of the time I couldn't see the signs, I deliberately went over mistakes without knowing they were mistakes. But now my heart has grown. I've really grown.
Breakups don't hurt that much anymore My dear. I forgot about it. Of course I didn't forget everything, but at least I got rid of my material worries. I know that was one of the biggest burdens. So how do you feel now, is it lighter? As I got older, I learned some bitter truths of life.
You can't be insensitive like what's happening around you. It's very difficult to get used to and accept what I've been through or it happened. I thought everything would be as innocent as when I was a kid. Forgive me I failed. We've been abandoned, tricked and hurt I know it was mostly my fault. Uncontrolled
I made myself a victim of my loves, quick deceptions and my need for love. I forgot to love you out of the need to be loved all the time.
But our good days have passed. What we feel in your mother's arms with you is still somewhere in our subconscious. We experienced love together and we felt this stirring inside us. We were exposed to the hugs of sincere friends and listened to their heartbeats. Aren't we both in our hearts?
I know I hurt you so much. And you were so sensitive... My heart, I won't say sorry for what happened. I know that if I say I'm sorry, I will hurt myself and you again. We will start thinking about the past again and fears will surround us again. I know that I shouldn't be sad anymore. This girl knows that what I've been through has contributed to me. We spent long and difficult years with you. We cannot say that everything went well until now.
But now I've changed! Now I listen to you more. I look at you and I find myself. You are so beautiful, my heart is still bright, you are still not dark. You are still dazzling in the colors of life and you really dazzle. Your wars with my mind have lessened. You know, sometimes he can be right too. The condition is cleanliness of conscience. Thank God, our minds agree with us. You always knew how to stay clean. Thank you, my heart.
Dear Heart, we shared the years we lived with bitterly and sweetly. Even in my hardest moments, you always beat. Sometimes you accelerated, sometimes you slowed down. Even in my saddest moments, you gave me a very important message. You pushed me to life with your throws. You whispered hope to me every time you crashed. If there is hope, there is life. My dear heart, now I am touching you and listening to you. Listen to me carefully! We are together on this road until the end. Sometimes we will be sad, sometimes we will be hurt. I promise both of us a pain-free life. Good days are waiting for us.
So glad I have you,
glad you're on my left side...