Raising a child, giving him a good foundation to become an independent, responsible, useful member of society, is one of the greatest tasks one can try to do. Today, many strive to achieve this goal as single parents, whether they find themselves in it by coincidence or by conscious choice.
“Being a mother means learning about a strength you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t even know existed,” are Linda Wooten’s famous words that apply to all mothers around the world, but perhaps most of all to those raising children alone.
Life gave that roll to me when my husband died. When I became a mother, in the first days I felt confused, did not know can I do it. I did not know what challenges expect me. But, I had no choice. Life pushed me through the challenges of single parenthood. In that adventure, I looked eye to eye with these challenges:
PROBLEMS WITH MONEY - It is not easy to take care of children`s needs even when you have a partner and multiple sources of income. But when you are alone, everything depends on you. I was forced to come back to my job when my son was one year old. I took him to kindergarten. That period I will never forget. It was full of worry, stress, tears until he got used to collective. Sometimes, I was forced to do several jobs. I was tried to earn money in every way. On the other side, searching for additional sources of income took my time, so I felt like I don't spend enough time with my child.
LESS FREE TIME FOR PERSONAL NEEDS - In the first months when I became a mother I was happy if I had time for a longer shower. I reduced my needs on basic things: to sleep enough and to not be hungry. I put a child in the first place of priority and forgot about my needs. I am still doing that, never mind that my son is 8 years old. In the first place, he must be feed, he must have all he needs for school, and after that, I can think of my needs. Often I have a feeling of being torn on multiple sides. But, now when he is a schoolboy, I have more time for myself. Now I can make a plan, to go to the hairdresser, to go out with a friend. Those are little things, but it helps me to relax from everyday stress. With good organization, we can find some time for ourselves, because we can raise good children only if we feel good.
RESPONSIBILITY FOR MAKIN DECISIONS INDEPENDENTLY - In many challenges and stages of my child`s growing up, I was forced to make decisions alone. Before some big decision, I ask myself a hundred times: is this good for the kid, what if I make mistake, what if this decision is wrong.. That can be very hard because I am the one who is responsible for the kid.
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAPS - I must confess, a million times I said: "I am and mother and father at the same time". That every single mother says. We always try to be as well, responsible, hardworking, sacrificial as the father and mother put together. We see ourselves as doubly responsible.
I hope I will not fall into the trap to become too ambitious or too protective and caring. With a help of God my son and I go through life, and it is good for now.