@pinkwidow

Upbringing or hypocrisy? There is a huge difference! "How many times have I told you to eat at the dining room table?" Are you eating in the armchair in front of the TV again? ” During that time or half an hour later, dad sits in an armchair and eats a sandwich while watching the game. This example clearly illustrates that a child will not do what his parents tell him, but what his parents DO. In other words, it simply means that the example you give them is the one they will learn from. There is a scientific explanation for this and it is called the theory of mirror neurons, which are activated from the birth of a child and enable babies to imitate the movements of adults and learn. **What, then, should you do?** This is one of the most difficult tasks for parents. The children do not want to go to bed at the time they are told, they always miss those five more minutes.Then, five more, and so on.. When it comes to sleeping, the general atmosphere in the house is very important. At the time when the children need to go to bed, and even a little before that, you have to adjust the whole environment. Turn down the lights as much as possible, turn off or completely mute the devices, try to do it every night at the same time. When they grow up and come into teen age, establish common rules. For example, no one should be out of the house after 9 pm, unless it is a matter of work or obligations. However, if you are often away from home at that time, expect the child to resist as well. It will ask you to trust him and treat him like an adult. You try to follow this rule yourself. So it will rarely happen that you have quarrels and discussions with your child on this topic. The same thing is with cigarettes, alcohol or fizzy drinks. I attended a scene in a cafe where a waiter approached a table where a mother and a 7-year-old child were sitting. The waiter asked what they wanted, to which the child replied "Coca-Cola". Mom then gave a short, patient lecture on how harmful and full of sugar this drink is. The child reluctantly accepted the explanation and ordered fruit juice. The waiter turned to his mother and asked what she wanted. "Coca-Cola for me." That is not upbringing. That is hypocrisy. **Value transfer** When you want to pass on certain values ​​to your children, the only possible way to do that is by example. Never tell them "I'm wrong, but I'm already in some years, it's too late for me to change now, so you learn from my mistakes." These are the lessons of lazy parents. Those who don't care enough to change themselves because of the children. And these are lessons that are not worth it. So, if you want to teach them to respect their parents, start by respecting your parents, but also your children. Respect is a mutual feeling. If you want to teach them that school comes first, don't take them to the sea in September, because it's so convenient for you. If you want to teach them to respect people regardless of their social or material status, persuade staff at school and the teacher equally. I challenge you to be an example to your children. Replace criticism, objections and labels with honesty and example. Can you do that?

Everything happens with a reason! The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle, believed that everything happens for a reason, always. And that every experience in life, was designed to shape you and turn you into the ultimate and best version of yourself, a version of yourself that you could never have imagined possible. 1. At the time of the fight - Any negative experience; every time you have to fight with something or for something, it can be seen as an opportunity for great growth. Like a caterpillar that has to come out of its cocoon. When all its shaping and changing is complete, its metamorphism turns it into a magnificent butterfly. The butterfly discarded its former skin and flew on the wings of a new life and a new way of existence. 2. At the time of healing - Some people find it hard to believe that everything happens for a reason, especially when they experience pain or loss. At that time it can be very difficult to see a blessing in tragic events because all one feels is pain. But from the most difficult experiences in life we ​​gain wisdom and allow new strength to be born. Without loss we would not be grateful for gain, without sorrow we would not be grateful for love. Without death, we would not appreciate life and without fear, we would not know how to appreciate love. 3. In times of happiness - When we get to a certain point in life, after all the struggles, we are finally able to see the wisdom behind the subconscious choices we have made. 4. In times of chaos - True chaos, there can be no chaos if there is a choice. Things that come up may seem random and random, but as we all already know, looks can be deceiving. "For someone who can't read, the letters on the page look like they were chosen at random, while in reality they are arranged precisely and meaningfully." - Deepak Chopra Meaningful coincidences and can be viewed as random events without connection, but in the eyes of the observer, these events will have a real purpose and meaning. 5. At the time of reflection - We see pieces of the puzzle begin to unfold, each revealing a seemingly invisible beautiful image. Pain, turmoil, struggles and victories, all essential building blocks for shaping what we are today in this present moment. An unfinished product, it always grows, learns and experiences. And by reflecting, by analyzing our experiences, we see that. “We can’t connect the dots looking forward; we can only connect them by looking back. So, you have to believe that the dots will connect in some way in your future. You have to believe in something - intuition, destiny, life, karma, anything. This approach has never let me down and has made all the difference in my life. ”- Steve Jobs

Learn to respect yourself! Learn to respect yourself by discarding everything that tramples on your value, anyone who diminishes it and plays with it. Learn to respect yourself so you don’t ignore the fact that people treat you. If they respect and appreciate you you will know that these are the people who need to stay in your life, but if they don’t they are a sign that you need to replace your team and look for some better experiences near other people. Learn to respect yourself so that you will not give excuses to those who have a bad day and therefore have to destroy it for you as well. Weaknesses are those who cannot allow another to be good when they are bad. So learn to respect yourself so that you will not be afraid to be different from others. Who told you you had to be the same? How will this bring any added value to your life? The only thing that is certain is that it is a path to an inner feeling of dissatisfaction. Learn to respect yourself by starting to think more about the purpose of your life, to realize that you are not just a casual passerby, to wonder what only you can do, what fire burns so much in your heart, to think about your goals and understand that you no one can get there except yourself. Learn to respect yourself by not lowering the price of your abilities by giving free to others to finally realize that you have been exploited and deceived. Learn to respect yourself by telling the truth and asking others for it. All the masks that come into your life, even the masks of people called friends as well as those of others you will take with a grain of salt until those behind them show up. Learn to respect yourself by finding those people who know you are not perfect but treat you as if they are and you will treat them the same way. Learn to respect yourself and others will follow your example!

The scientifically proven effects that LOVE has on your mind and body We all know that we feel good out of love, but did you know that there is real science behind it? Here are some of the most amazing and scientifically proven effects that love has on your mind and body: **Love encourages long life -** Research shows that people in meaningful relationships, especially in marriage, feel healthier and live a healthier lifestyle (including food choices, regular meals, better rest, less stress, etc.). Living together also helps people prevent, detect and eliminate physical problems more easily. It has been shown that people who love each other, who are in serious relationships, live longer. **Love helps the body fight disease -** Gestures that express love, from holding hands to sexual activity, increase the production of endorphins, which in turn increases our immunity. Likewise, people with physical problems who feel loved, respond better to treatment, and have a stronger motivation to fight disease. **Love is a natural analgesic -** We all know that hugs make us feel good and comforted. However, recent research has shown that oxytocin (a chemical compound in the brain that creates a sense of peace and closeness) that is released during a 10-20 second long hug can effectively relieve pain, especially headaches. On the other hand, scientists have proven that sexual stimulation, too, blocks pain. It is especially effective for chronic back pain, arthritis symptoms and cramps. **Love takes care of your heart -** research has shown that expressing love lowers the heart rate by half. It is even more effective in stressful situations, and reduces the risk of heart disease in the long run. In addition, oxytocin (also known as the love hormone) is believed to be one of the most amazing molecules in the world - it reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, lowers anxiety, increases self-confidence and helps us avoid and fight depression. **Love cures insomnia -** Love hormones (oxytocin and endorphins) inhibit the release of cortisol, the hormone responsible for stress, and this leads to better rest. **Love reduces the likelihood of creating an addiction and reduces withdrawal symptoms -** Opiates, cocaine, nicotine, alcohol are addictive because they change the level of dopamine in our body. Dopamine is a hormone that is responsible for a sudden rush of pleasure and euphoric effects. Love works the same way. However, in addition to dopamine, it also stimulates the secretion of testosterone and oxytocin, which make the best combination in avoiding and fighting addiction. To be in love means to fill your life with the satisfaction and enthusiasm you need. But at the same time, if you feel loved while struggling with addiction, it literally helps you deal with withdrawal symptoms and reduces cravings. **Love is therapy -** People resort to therapies for many reasons, but most often because they want to be heard and understood. Of all the specialists in the world, the person who is the only one able to provide you with the overall "therapy" is your caring partner. The support and love your partner provides is both mentally and physically the main (and sometimes the only) “cure” you need to deal with fears, depression, anxiety, and ultimately, physical condition.

A hyperactive child Hyperactivity ( or ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is defined in modern psychology as a neurobihervioral disorder. It is often questionable how much of a "disorder" it is, or simply a matter of temperament or energy, which is in the very nature of the child. Contributing to this is the fact that "hyperactivity" is a word that is used quite often among parents. Some people think that a hyperactive child is the one who runs around constantly. However, a child can be very energetic and restless without hyperactivity. A child who is really hyperactive cannot sit. He is constantly fidgeting, catching things, talking or running, even when he is told to be calm. Children like this are simply more than active. It is as if some "electrification" and some "overemphasis" is constantly present around them. Every child sometimes behaves like this. However, when it comes to hyperactivity, what distinguishes this "disorder" from "normal" behavior is that overemphasis is constantly present and the child fails to control it. A hyperactive child is constantly active in a way that does not befit the time and place where he is. This "constant" makes the basic difference between hyperactivity and what is considered "normal" behavior. Hyperactive children are often described as naughty, disobedient and impulsive. It is true that it is more difficult for a hyperactive child than for another to develop skills of controlling behavior, emotions and activity levels. As a result, parents often do not know what to do with such a child. Parents struggle with stress, frustration and lack of respect from the child. Also, parents may feel ashamed of their child's behavior and may wonder what they did wrong. The child is not hyperactive due to lack of discipline or because he is rude. Moreover, a child who is overly active often wants to calm down, because it would be easier for him to follow and get involved in the events around him. It is frustrating for the child himself that it is difficult for him to do what he knows is expected of him. The most important for a parent of a hyperactive child is to be educated about ADHD and about parenting styles that can help or hinder the child. In the end, such children often stand out in many positive aspects of personality: creativity, wit, imagination, intelligence, motor skills, ... but some, for other children, simple requirements, such as standing in line or walking without running, fall difficult. **Here are a few examples of typical behavior in a hyperactive child:** He mostly runs and shouts while playing, even when he is inside, not outside. When there is a requirement for all children to sit, for example, in kindergarten, a hyperactive child often gets up and walks around. It moves very fast, so that it bumps into people and things, it often stumbles, hits or falls. When he is playing,he is too rough, accidentally hurting yourself or other children in the game. He needs to say something all the time He often interrupts others in conversation. He is constantly moving from one place to another, often awkwardly. He fidgets and needs to take everything into his own hands and play with it. It is difficult for him to sit at the table during meals or other quiet activities. Keep in mind that it is often very difficult to make a difference between hyperactivity and "normal" children's behavior. If you recognize only some of the signs of hyperactivity or certain signs appear only in some situations, then it is probably not an attention deficit disorder, or ADHD. **How to help a hyperactive child?** Look for patterns of behavior in the child. When is hyperactivity most pronounced in a child? What exactly does it look like? For example, it may appear as fidgeting, restlessness, or constant talking. If your child finds it difficult to calm down at dinner or some quiet activity, you can try to calm him down first with a favorite book or toy. Or to hug and caress the child, physical tenderness can completely calm the child. Give your child many ways to be active through play, sports, physical activities and activities. Hyperactivity in a child is very difficult for both parents and educators. What is important is not to let the child feel ashamed. Convince the child that the way he feels and behaves is normal and that over time and with your support, he will be more skilled in controlling his impulses and emotions.

How DIVORCE affects a child's mental health Parental divorce for children is a big shock and leaves many consequences. The love, support and commitment of both parents are the only ways to avoid severe consequences for the child. When a relationship between spouses gets cold, most parents ask themselves a question like: "Should we stay together because of the children?" There are parents who consider divorce to be the only option. **What consequences can divorce have on children?** Nobody knows the exact answer to that, because everything is individual and every child is a person for himself. Although divorce is stressful for all children, some children recover faster than others. The good news is that parents can take steps to reduce the effects of divorce on their children. If parents establish a good and honest relationship with their children, they can help them adjust to the changes that have occurred as a result of parental separation and family breakdown. **Why is the first year after divorce the hardest?** Many studies have shown that children suffer the most during the first or second year after divorce. Children are likely to experience discomfort, anger, anxiety, mistrust and insecurity in those moments. However, it seems that many children return to their previous behavior. They begin to get used to the changes in their daily routine and adapt more easily to the problems that life brings. However, there are a small number of children on whom divorce leaves a lasting mark and never return to their previous state. This small percentage of children may have permanent - perhaps even lifelong - problems after a parent's divorce. **What are the emotional consequences of divorce for children?** Young children often do not understand why they are torn between two homes, why their parents live separately and the like. When children experience such failures from a peaceful port, it happens that they are troubled by the problems of whether their parents still love each other and whether their parents will stop loving them as well. School-age children sometimes think that divorce is their fault, as well as that they did something wrong, so it happened. Teenagers are really affected by such situations and can feel anger and resentment towards their parents, which can last for days. It also happens that they blame one parent for the divorce or they can blame one or both parents for the breakup of the family. Each situation is unique and each family carries a special story with them. However, there are also extreme situations in which a child can feel relief when a divorce occurs, because divorce represents a reduction in the stress and discomfort they experienced. **Is stress related to divorce?** Divorce usually means that children will lose contact with one parent - most often the father. Reduced contact affects the parent-child relationship. After being separated from one parent, children feel stress and fear, and there is also insecurity that can remain even when the child steps into adulthood. **What are the emotional problems that occur in children?** Divorce can increase the risk of mental health problems in children and adolescents. Regardless of age, gender and culture, children of divorced parents can have major health problems. Divorce can cause adjustment disorders in children, which can be resolved within a few months. Studies have also found that depression and anxiety are greater in children whose parents are divorced or do not live together. **Do children become problematic?** Children from divorced families may have more problems, such as behavioral disorders, delinquency, and impulsive reactions, than children living with both parents. In addition to problematic behaviors, children may enter into multiple conflicts with peers after divorce. Of course, not all children become problematic, but only those whose divorce has left a deep mark and who have been left out of parental supervision. **Risky behavior -** Not such a small number of adolescents from divorced families indulge in opiates and become more aggressive. Children in that period want to try everything, such as the use of illicit substances and early sexual activities. Separation from fathers is also associated with more sexual partners during adolescence. They also have a predisposition to enter into insecure partnerships and relationships in which a large age difference prevails.

Let`s go outside! Today's way of life has distanced man from nature and influenced that nature to be polluted and destroyed. Man began to lose the sense of need to stay in nature, move, socialize with other people which relaxed him and rested him from stress and problems at work. Because of reduced movement, there is an increasing number of people who are fat, with heart, lung and many other diseases. It has long been known that the influence of nature is important for man, that there is a balance between nature and health, and that the positive effects on the physical and mental health of people are enormous. The first association for going and staying in nature is associated with fresh, good and quality air, which means that nature is in good connection with the lungs. Staying in nature is not only recommended for patients who have chronic lung diseases, but also because every person and child benefits from nature and can develop better lung function in it. Nature is full of smells and sounds that promote the development of human capacities and senses. If children stay in nature, they will develop hearing better. Their intellectual capacity develops more. **The influence of nature on sight -** technology has advanced greatly and almost all of us have a computer in our work process, and that means we have a short look, which is why short-sightedness develops. Phone and TV have a bad effect on eyesight, and being in nature has a beneficial effect, not only because of the green color, but also looking at the distance relaxes our eye muscles. **Blood count and vitamin D -** By staying in the forest and on the mountain, we have a positive effect on the increase of red blood cells, erythrocytes. A large number of the population in urban areas has anemia due to improper diet, which leads to other problems. Staying in nature practically improves the blood picture, it even improves the white blood cells that are responsible for our immunity. Going to nature also means exposing ourselves to the sun, and thus we get more vitamin D, strengthen bones and strengthen immunity. **Disease therapy -** Staying in nature implies both physical activity and movement. Cycling and walking in nature are many times beneficial for our health because of the clean and fresh air and thus the prevention of many diseases. Even people who have chronic diseases, high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, staying in nature and walking are recommended. This can reduce cholesterol and improve other health parameters. People who are healthy and go to nature have better posture, better concentration, attention and inspiration. They are more resistant to various diseases. **Sunlight** - Exposure to sunlight leads to the creation of vitamin D, which is vital in many processes in the body, from bone development to the development of the immune system. Exposure to sunlight also plays a significant role in other ways, and like healthy sleep, it improves mood. Our body works much better when it is exposed to a sufficient amount of sunlight every day. **Better mood -** Staying in nature also affects good sleep. When we stay in nature we move more, our appetite is better, we sleep better and we are in a better mood. We release all the negative energy in nature from ourselves. Nature is recommended for depressed people, it has a positive effect on them. Definitely nature can prolong our life and make it better. **Nature and kids** - our world is constantly changing, and not for the better. If a child grows up without walking through the woods, digging wet ground, watching animals in their natural environment, without climbing a mountain or observing the expanse of the sea, they may never understand what can be lost. The future of our planet really depends on them, so they need to learn to appreciate it.

How to choose a pet for a child Almost every parent is faced with children`s request to get a pet. We all know that we will succumb sooner or later, but we are also know that the "honeymoon" is short. When the innitial excitement passes, kids forgets about their new "friends". Basically, most of the responsibilities fall on the parents' shoulders, if we do not carefully plan the purchase of a pet and do not consider all the obligations that this entails. If your family has not had any pets so far, I suggest you start with the less demanding ones. **A Fish** A well-chosen fish can be a great pet for a beginner. Everyone mostly takes the so-called "goldfish" (Japanese carp), and it is good choice, because they do not need filters, heaters and other complicated aquaristic equipment. **Reptiles** The most popular reptiles are turtles. They act benign, are not difficult to maintain, and are not as dangerous to a child as other reptiles (such as snakes). They live long, and the bonus is that they do not cause allergies, unlike other hairy and feathered pets, although the American Academy of Pediatrics warns that reptiles can transmit Salmonella. **Birds** Birds can be great pets, but you must know that they are much more demanding than the previous two species. They require daily attention and can be very intelligent and sociable. Those more expensive species such as arenas and cockatoos require more attention but also provide more interaction than less demanding canaries and tigers. It is very important that you can see with feathered pets whether the child is ready for a dog or a cat. **Rodents** Cute little soft rodents can be a great source of joy and enjoyment for the whole family. They go from little mice, through guinea pigs, hamsters and guinea pigs, to not so small rabbits and hares. If you decide for them, know that they are not very easy to train (it is not impossible) and that they require a high degree of hygienic activities, which means changing the substrate in the cage every day. They reproduce very quickly and easily, so be careful if you do not want a full house. Some of them (hamsters) live very short, a year - two days, so that can be quite disappointing for a child. They do not require much space, but they can do damage because they like to nibble on cables. **Insects** It's hard to think that anything with six legs can be your child's pet. They are very popular in the west, and in our country they are a little harder to find - ant farms can be a beautiful decoration and a nice display of the functioning of real life. Watching ants and their activities can be a lot of fun and educational at the same time. **Cats** The cats are just beautiful. Children adore them because they are sweet and soft. They are not very difficult to maintain due to their innate independence, they do not require too much time. They easily learn to defecate in a certain place. The only thing they require is a regular visit to the vet. However, before you get a cat, make sure that someone in the family is not allergic to it. Iwould not reccomand them for very little kids, because they can scratch the kid. Cats are indenpendent and if you go to travel, it will not be a problem - anyone can take care of them for a few days. **Dogs** There are people of the opinion that if you have not had a dog you don`t even know what it means to have a pet. It is true that you get the most from a dog, but in return you have to give the most. So before you get a dog as a pet for your child, think carefully. First of all, consider whether your child is big enough to just take the dog for a walk or to warm his food. Also, avoid large breeds if the idea is for your child to take a dog and if you do not have a large living space. Females are generally more peaceful than males (although this is not always the rule), so pay attention to that when deciding to get a dog. I definitely recommend that you adopt a dog, not buy it. If you do this in cooperation with one of the foster care organizations, you will receive all the necessary recommendations for keeping a dog. While everyone loves puppies, an adult dog who is accustomed to leashing and walking can be easier to adjust to living in an apartment. Dogs lives average about 15 years, and some breeds up to 20 years. They are going out for a walk at least 3-4 times a day, they have to run, cuddle… But, the love you get from a dog is invaluable and is rarely found in other pets. **Why pets are good for children** Children become more responsible and learn the joys and beauties of helping others. With animals, children discover the world of nature and learn how animals behave in their habitats. Sharing and playing with pets teaches children to respect other people's feelings. Pets relieve tension and stress. Along with pets, children also learn how to express their feelings. By playing with animals, your children will spend less time with electronic devices. No matter which pet you will choose, it is important for children`s development to have a pet. Growing up with animals can be a great privilege and wealth for your child. A well-chosen and carefully groomed pet can bring years of enjoyment and joy to your family.

Raise an independent child Parenting is a most beautiful, but also the hardest "job" in the world. Mothers and fathers are faced with doubts, challenges, fears, with questions about whether they are raising their child properly. Parents are confused with all that books, researches, news and advices for parenting, but I think we should not complicate parenting. In this article, I will try to present my "knowledge" about this subject, because I have little experiance in parenting (I am self mother of one 8 years old boy), and this things works in our family. These "rules" was made from need to learn my child to do some things without my help, because that save our time which we can spend on other, nice things. Later, I found out that this rules are good basic for further life. Doing this, you will raise an independent child, who will be gratefull for that one day. So, if you apply this simple habbits, you will see how they are useful for all the family. **Allow the child to make mistake** If you want to raise an independent person, you must sometimes allow your child to make mistakes. He must learn to do something without your help. Remember: you must think for a long-term. Perhaps today will not be easy, but for a few years you will have a teenager who, for example, knows how to do laundry himself! Or to make his breakfast when he is home alone. So, let him do it himself today, because it is good for his future. Don`t be afraid: before you jump in to help your child with a physical task, ask yourself ‘Is my child in danger?’ Then ask yourself if the child has the necessary skills (dexterity and balance) and basic needs met (is he sleepy and full). If the answer is yes, let the child just try to complete the task. **Homework rules** First, do the hardest things. Second, move your cell phone. For homework, a child may need technology, like a computer, but at least during that time he doesn’t have to send text messages. And finally, when homework is finished, put books, pencils and notebooks in the bag, and prepare it for the next school day. This three-step process can be easily adopted by the child, so you will have to ‘harass’ him much less for performing school duties. **Practice daily acts of kindness** Teach your child that we need to help others every day, not just when it’s the holidays. Encourage your child to do a little good thing at least once a week, whether to help a friend or neighbor clean up fallen leaves. By focusing on others, the child will learn what it means to be grateful. **Be strict about bedtime** Research has shown that 7-year-olds who do not have a set time to go to bed have more behavioral problems than those who go to bed at the same time every night. And without these, we all know how routine is important for everyone, especially for kids. They simply love rutine. It make them feel secure. **Don’t give your child money when he cleans his room** If you reward a child with money when he makes a bed, he will expect money every time you ask him to do something or to help you with household chores. Instead of "paying for work" you can give your child a monthly allowance to learn how to manage money properly and for overall good behavior, but don't reward him with money on a daily basis. **Teach him courage** Do you want a confident child? Let him learn from your example about the small, healthy risks in life. For example, go to the cinema on your own and then explain to your child why it is not something that should make them feel uncomfortable (many adults do not want to go to the cinema alone because they are uncomfortable). Or, let your child see you laugh when you realize you’ve been wearing a T-shirt upside down all morning, instead of being ashamed. **Do not cook special meals for the child** Of course, you will not apply this at babies. A child about 2-3 years old must learn to eat what his parents eat. He doesn’t have to eat everything you’ve prepared for lunch, but he does have to choose those foods that will provide him with nutrients. It is much more important that the whole child eats during the day or week than one balanced meal. **Overcome fears** If a child is afraid of a dog, do not take him to the other side of the street when the dog is walking towards you. Demystify fear. Say ‘Look, puppy! Let's ask the owner if we can scratch him and feel how soft his fur is. ' When a child, for example, goes vaccinated, be compassionate, but not too emotional. Say ‘Everything is fine. It’s over in a few minutes ’, instead of‘ I know, it hurts! ’. **Take care of your child, but also, take care of YOU!** If you want to be a better parent, you must first take care of yourself. Parents who deprive themselves of rest, food, and entertainment for the good of their children are not actually doing anyone any good. Many parents feel guilty because they work a lot, so they want to dedicate all their free time to their children. But such behavior often results in emotional and physical exhaustion. Taking time for yourself is very important, even if it was only 15 minutes of relaxing, warm baths, reading the book or drink a cup of coffee with neighbour.

Learn to be optimist! Today, there is more and more talk about the power of positive thinking, and sometimes it is not enough to want to think positively - this way of thinking is learned and practiced. The pessimistic way of thinking happens to many people and is most often learned, and it is characterized by the fact that these people think in a negative way and create beliefs about things. It is a reaction of giving up, when a person thinks that nothing he does can help him solve some things he has as problems in life. For example, they say that they will never succeed in business, that they will never lose weight because diets never act, that they will never find a partner because all partners are bad, or that they will never recover. Such a way of thinking leads to a depressed mood due to which health problems appear later, which create negative effects on our overall health psychophysical condition. Optimism is a choice offered to each of us, and science has proven that by adopting certain habits we can change our experience of reality. So, nothing cost us to try to change our way of thinking. These five "habits for happiness" will help you to change your view on the world: 1. **Learn to be grateful** Think of three things you are grateful for. For example: "I am grateful for the hug that my child gave me before going to school, it means that I am loved." It is very important that you come up with three new things every day for which you are grateful. That way, your brain will "train" to automatically "scan" the positive things that happen to you during the day. Gratitude changes your perspective. We build our view of the world based on the things we pay attention to. If they are negative, we cannot expect the world to be positive. Gratitude helps us build a world based on positive feelings and events. 2. **Say "thanks"** Choose another person every morning and send her a message or email in which you will thank her for something nice and good that she did. It doesn't have to be your best friend or family member. Remember the instructor from the gym, colleagues at work, neighbour.. It has been proven that you will feel better at the same time, and that person will probably answer you and remind you of something nice that you did…Over time, this habit will strengthen your network of friendships, and that is one of the most important things in life. Did you know that loneliness is as dangerous to health as excessive obesity, smoking or high blood pressure? 3. **Find meaning in the things that happened to you** Think of one significant thing that has happened to you in the past 24 hours. Maybe someone held the door for you as you passed, maybe you had an interesting conversation… Give yourself two minutes and write down every detail you remember. By doing this, you are mentally reviving that experience, thus giving it meaning. The positive event thus gained weight, and became a "reminder" that life is worth living. 4. **Get up and get move** Engage in some physical activity for 15 minutes during the day. You can walk, run, swim.. any type of physical activity that gives you pleasure can be your choice. Research has shown that fifteen minutes of some activity that will speed up the pulse is equivalent to taking antidepressants. During physical activity, endorphins are released that improve our mood. In the long run, exercise will make you both healthier and in a better mood. We can adopt a clear view of the world regardless of our genetic heritage, our origin, the circumstances in which we grew up or in which we live. Optimism is "contagious." We are happier if we are in the company of positive people. Research shows that we generally like optimistic people more, trust them more and perceive them as more intelligent. Both optimists and pessimists experience difficult things in life, but optimists do better because they cope better with it. So, why not choose to be optimist :)

Toxic mothers When people hear the word "mother" they usually imagine a devoted woman who nurtures unconditional love for her children and who will do anything to lead her kids on the right path. As long as we believe in universal maternal love - a myth that our culture actively supports - we cannot see the true power that parents have over us, even the power of covert violence. We like to think of mothers as women who keep this world from disappearing, wonderful and dedicated women, but is that always the case? Do you know what is toxic mother? A parents not only creates a world around their child, they also dictate how the child will view that world. As children, we “understand” what is going on in our family, what is being said and why, but not always because it is so, but because our mothers have served us an explanation that they think is appropriate for us. So it is no wonder that many children grow up believing that every behavior and relationship we see in the family, even toxic, destructive or violent - is normal. As children we believe that all families are like ours, and the realization that other families are actually quite different comes much, much later. We justify mothers who shouted, beat us - we were not good, we did not listen to them. We believe that our brothers and sisters are treated differently because they are good, worthy of love and admiration, and we are not. "We are hard, lazy, stupid" - as our mother called us. And we grow up with that belief. **Growing up and the main problem** Most female children who do not feel loved think that growing up will bring them freedom and that they will finally get rid of negative criticism. But, unfortunately, an unpleasant surprise awaits them - leaving the children's room will not protect you from the pain and the need for mother's love and support. That is the main problem - the central conflict between the daughter's consciousness, what wounds her mother made on her and the hunger for her approval and love. That conflict lives on in the girl now and she is constantly finding explanations and justifications for her mother’s toxic behavior; she does everything to actually close her eyes to the truth. **8 typical patterns of toxic maternal behavior** **Making a feelings of guilt and shame** Tipical words used in this pattern are: “You always…” or “You never…” and is strongly etched in the child’s consciousness. In a child's head, it also becomes a personal critique, a voice that constantly repeats, blames and points out mistakes, and avoids praise. **The role of the victim** Many mothers actually play the role of victim, and children are not even aware of it. A toxic mother constantly reminds the child how ungrateful he is, and the sentence usually ends with, "After everything I've done for you." This behavior lives in the child even when he grows up, and the mother continues her toxic role, especially if the child has realized what it is all about and tries to limit seeing and contact with the mother. **A game of symphaty** Favoring one child in a family happens in many families. But when a mother is wonderful to one child and toxic to another - she humiliates him, constantly comparing him to a "good" child, talking about how bad it is - psychological problems are almost guaranteed. Psychologists say that toxic mothers behave like this in order to control their children, to form a relationship as she wants it to be and to manipulate it so that children constantly need her support and praise. If it is an only child, even that child is not "saved" - he will be constantly compared to the neighbor's daughter, his uncle's brother, a kid from kindergarten.. **Passive aggression** The mother may express passive aggression towards the child indirectly, for example, through ugly comments about the father when the child is present. A child’s development is directly related to the way parents behave towards each other and towards other members of the immediate or extended family and that is why parents play a huge role in what kind of people we will become when we grow up. If a child is a wittness of cruelty, verbal anger, punishment by silence, psychological harassment, there is a high chance that the child will develop similar behavioral disorders on average from the age of 8 to 10. As they grow up, most children slowly turn into bullies, become passively aggressive… Everything that was present and that actually shaped his view of the world is passed on to him. Here are the explanations why the sons of bullies grow up to be bullies, the children of alcoholics into alcoholics… **Psychological manipulation** Manipulating a child is incredibly easy, because parents are the authority and opportunity that children look up to and believe in everything they say. **Humiliation and ridicule** Mothers with need for control or narcissistic traits are often prone to ridicule their child’s feelings or thoughts. They ridicule and humiliate children with words, gestures and imitations, and thus kill their self-confidence and self-esteem even in childhood. **"Scapegoat"** In toxic mothers, usually one child (or just a child) is blame for everything and punished for everything, never mind is he guilty or not. Such children in childhood begin to believe that they are superfluous wherever they appear, which makes it easier for them to turn to psychoactive substances, alcohol and other destructive behaviors during adolescence. **Silence as the worst punishment** When a person does not talk to you and does not answer your questions, it is an expression of maximum contempt. Even adults find it very painful and humiliating, and when it comes to children, this kind of behavior completely destroys them, especially if it comes from parents.

God have a plan for all of us None of us can even guess what the next day will bring us. For example, my destiny, my life changed in one day, the day when my husband died. Those days and nights I asked why God gave me this. Is this a punishmant, or maybe a gift? I could not find answers, because God's plans are known only to him. After a few years, I finnaly find out that He exactly knows what to give us and when and who will he send to us. It is up to us to make the most of each day and enjoy it as much as we can. We live in crazy times. We are so obsessed with problems that we almost never take a few minutes to pray and thank God for everything we have at the moment. People are mostly focused on the negative and never find time to thank life for the good that happens to them. Instead of negative, try to focus on good things that you have: healthy kids, roof over your head, water and food, peace in the state. Thank to God for that "little" but essential things. Many people would be happy to have it. In the man`s nature is one thing: when everything is fine in his life, man forgets God. Before going to bed, we prefer to look at photos on social networks, read articles about the stars, but do not find time for the most important things. And that is praying and talks with God. The moment when we get in trouble, we remember God. As a rule, a person turns to religion only when he finds himself in a problem. When we lose our job or someone close to us is ill. In situations when we do not know what and how to proceed, we turn to God. When we experience a rejection even though we did everything right, the question arises why it happened that way. We are usually tormented by questions about whether we did the right thing, whether it is our fault. The only answer to these questions is that God has his timing. If something doesn’t go according to plan, it’s because right now isn’t the right time to make a wish come true. It is very difficult to accept the idea that what is imagined is not realized immediately. There is a feeling of anger, anxiety and nervousness. People want everything and they want it now, but they do not understand that it is not the best for them in that moment. When we don`t get what we want, we should try to react and think on other way - maybe it is God way to protect us from bad things. The fact is that achieving the goal would cause some other problems, because there is the right timing for everything in life. And God knows what He do. He know what, who, and when to give us what we need. What is destined will happen sooner or later, and what is not written in destiny is better never to be realized. Instead of chasing something you are not ready for at the moment, it is better to be patient and believe in God. Haste and impatience are the main enemies. Be patient and you will see what life is next for you. When you watch a movie, you don't start from the end, because you can't wait for the end. So it is in life, it is a journey, not a destination. Have you noticed that mature people never rush and get annoyed when they don't get what they want? They have experiance. They are calm and confident in themselves and their path, because they understand that God is aware of all their desires and goals. It doesn’t matter how religious they are or how often they go to church. Even today, God cares that exactly what needs to happen in your life. We are all the same, when things don`t go as we plan, we begin to doubt God, but he never makes mistakes. He’s just doing the right things at the right time. No matter how hard we try to plan the desired events, everything has its time. Accept the fact that things will never go 100 percent according to your plan and trust in God’s perfect plan. It is clear that we should fight for the goals, and not sit and wait for the right time, but in case of failure, we should not despair, but continue and be patient. Be sure, and believe, God have a perfect plan for all of us!

"Shareting" (Share+parenting) "Shareting" - posting photos and videos on social media is a typical parental joy of these days. First of all, in this way we maintain a connection and introduce relatives and friends how the child grows, what he has learned and what interests him. Social networks are becoming a "digital mediator" for exchanging news with people and helping us maintain family and family ties. Secondly, it is a way to preserve precious memories. Third, such content can be a way to complain about something, find out that others have similar problems, get support, discover a new approach to those problems, and finally give some advice to less experienced parents and share the experience. Fourth, it is simply common. Likes and enthusiastic comments from other people give importance to our parenting, make it more positive, even if what we publish does not reflect the true. Parents who have chosen this way to say about themselves that they are good parents, to show their tenderness, sensitivity, care, skills and other desirable qualities through online content, should be aware of the following risks: **Digital kidnapping** The child's photos can be downloaded by malicious people and used in the future to create all sorts of plots and stories, misrepresenting the child in the photo, using it on posters, in adoption ads, cyber violence, etc. **To prevent such situations:** * Check the privacy settings of your account - make photos available only to friends and disable photo sharing * Talk to family and friends about privacy and ask them not to share the photos you sent them; * Remove from the list of friends those who are not - friends of friends, those who are just nice to you so you made friends, but who you do not know personally, those who you added out of courtesy, etc. * Remove metadata and geotags from photos you plan to publish * Do not add any information that could be used to identify your children - full name, date of birth, school name, etc. * No photos of naked or half-naked children. If you are not sure whether to post a photo, do not post it. **Breaking the relationship with the child** Popularity, gained at the will of the parents, can inflict severe psychological trauma on a child and ruin his life. The story of Christopher Robin, the prototype of Winnie the Pooh and the son of A. A. Milne, who was teased at school by constantly quoting excerpts from books, is well known, so that in time he began to hate his fame. There are other cases when children's writers used their children as inspiration, and when they were adults, they did not like them at all. The older the child is, the more dissatisfied he will be due to the fact that his parents use his personality for public appearances and present him in one way or another on the Internet. For example, 71.3% of the thousands of British teenagers aged 12 to 16 surveyed believe that their parents who posted their photos without permission do not respect their right to privacy in the virtual world, and 39.8% say that their parents posted photos because of which children are ashamed of - because they look weird, they are naked, etc. Such posts become a source of tension and conflict, so the relationship between parents and teenagers can be seriously damaged due to online posts. That's why many parents stop posting photos of their children, and if they do, they only allow a reliable circle of people to have access to those photos. Young mothers are increasingly practicing "antisherenting" - when the photo with the children focuses on the context, and the child's face is hidden. If you still want to post something about your own children, do so carefully. Before you post something, ask yourself these few questions: *** Why are you publishing this?** This is probably the most important question. Before you post something, ask yourself this simple question. *** Would you like someone to tell a similar story about you?** This is not a perfect comparison, because you can be extroverted and enjoy sharing details from your life, and your child may grow into an introvert who does not like to show off. But if you don't like a photo of your childhood sitting on a stretcher online, you don't need to upload a photo of your child either. If your child is old enough to talk to them about this, ask for permission. *** Could this embarrass your child now or in the future?** Of course, embarrassing children is part of parenting. But it is one thing to talk about an awkward situation or show a photo to a best friend or grandmother, and quite another to spread this information around the world. That is not part of our rights, duties and obligations. It's just not ok. *** Is there anyone in space who should not see this photo of your child now or in the future?** If yes, do not post. Remember: this photo can one day be seen by employers, staff of educational institutions or possible romantic partners. *** Do you want this to become part of your child's digital footprint?** Think about it. You would probably want your child to look smart, well-mannered, kind and successful. Does what you intend to publish help you with that? Everything is need is to be carefull, cautious and kind.

Plant a tree We constantly complain to each other about how the Earth is left without a mantle, how weather changes will kill us, and no one wants to do one thing that will help the planet: to plant a tree! Planting a tree (trees) is one of the most beautiful and noble gestures that a person can make towards nature, other people and himself. In this article, I will give you a nine reasons why you should plant a tree: **Trees produce oxygen** Every being on the planet inhales oxygen, and without it, life as we know it would not be possible. A planet without trees is a planet without oxygen, and a planet without oxygen is a planet without people. **Trees absorb carbon dioxide** People exhale, trees inhale. That connection is something that keeps this world in perfect harmony. Trees help create a natural barrier to reduce the flow of gases, absorb various pollutants and ammoniac. **Trees prevent erosion** Landslides can be very dangerous to people's lives and property, and there is no better way to prevent landslides than to cover critical areas with forest. **Trees clear the land** Trees absorb harmful substances and chemicals from the soil and act as a filter, thus purifying the soil, making it suitable for growing and growing other plants. **The trees provide us with shade during the hot summer days** Anyone who has experienced being at plus 40 degrees Celsius, without any shelter around them, knows how desirable the shade of a tree or forest is at that moment. **Trees muffle noise** You probably already know, trees are omnipotent. It even attenuates noise, which is also considered a type of major environmental pollution, and which has been particularly pronounced in recent decades, with the development of technology. **Trees are home, shelter and protection for many animals** Newly formed forests lead to increase in insects, which attracts various birds and small mammals. Targeted forest creation helps animal species to move at the end when weather conditions affect their habitat. The trees provide a habitat, a nesting place, a safe source of food and pollen for pollinators throughout the year. This is very important because pollinators are an important factor in growing any crop. **Trees protect from the strong winds** It is well known that tree lines and forests can protect entire settlements and cities from strong winds, by making a living wall and preventing the winds from reaching maximum strength. **Trees beautify the environment** It is certainly better to have a view of the vast forests than the vast wild landfills… Forests are the lungs of the planet. Every year, the Earth loses a large part of its forests, both due to fires and logging. And just as the lungs of smokers are slowly and irreversibly dying out, so the lungs of the planet are disappearing faster and faster. One of the best ways to save our blue planet is for each of us to plant at least one tree during our lifetime. So you will thank nature for giving you life, and so you will preserve the planet for future generations.

Holidays with kids Holidays… a magical time of year. The smells of cakes, the illuminated and decorated city, gifts, socializing… all this causes a feeling of joyful anticipation and excitement in most of us. Only children feel that special charm. Most people associate their fondest childhood memories with the New Year and Christmas holidays. The holidays are definitely an ideal time to spend more time with your children. Through family connections, traditions and events, the child develops his own identity, emotionality, socialization and belonging, and thus satisfies the needs for feelings of love, respect, and acceptance. The holiday period provides an opportunity to develop a family tradition, ie it enables the child to adopt positive parenting experiences related to the holidays, which teaches the child to respect simple but special life moments and accept the importance of mutual relations in his life. **How to develop a family tradition?** When parents (or grandparents) tell a child about holiday events and people from their childhood, all those events and people become part of the child's inner, emotional world. An important part of the family tradition is certainly the repetition family rituals. Children learn best through repetition: rituals trigger activities, and children love repetition because it gives them a sense of security. Namely, in order for a child to feel safe, he needs his everyday world to be predictable. Rituals and family customs, both everyday and those especially related to the holidays, create a greater sense of security and comfort in a child's life, which all positively affects his development into a self-confident, adapted and mature adult. Try to repeat some part of the holiday rituals from year to year, e.g. making and sending greeting cards together, decorating the house and giving presents, making cakes together, walking around the city on the first day of the New Year, going to church on Christmas morning and the like. Try to involve child in activities: let him help decorate the Christmas tree or make cakes, praise him (regardless of the appearance of the Christmas tree and the taste and appearance of the cake), let him feel useful and proud; thus developing his self-confidence and independence. Allow the older child to "take a break" from school, this is still a very exciting time of the year for him, so he deserves his "holiday". If you don`nt have family traditions, it's never too late to start. Ask your children what they would like to do each year. If you can't agree on the suggestions of the family, start the celebration in several ways, so that every member of the family feels that it is an important part of the celebration. **Gifts** Giving is an important part of the holiday. In that ocasion, children can think about what can make other people happy and what is important to the people they care about. The joy of dear people when opening a gift in which the child has invested his effort can certainly make the holidays even happier and more valuable. Make gifts with the children. Help the children to make their own personal collages, drawings, pictures…, and frame them with frames that the children decorated themselves; make decorations from crumpled napkins, candies (hang candies on a string - children love candies on the Christmas tree) or bake a large amount of homemade cakes (of course, all in cooperation with the child)… The possibilities are endless! Instead of donating items, teach children to donate their time. For example: the grandmother might appreciate the grandson's help in cleaning the basement, or it would be useful to explain to the grandfather how to use the internet, or cleaning the garage with dad, or helping mom with kitchen chores… It is important to remember that children learn according to the model of their parents. They imitate parental behavior and the system of values and thinking. Show your children that the holidays can be a fulfilling and joyful time of year, not a stressful and exhausting marathon in malls, then cleaning, then guests, then "let me have some more coffee", "go out while I smoke a cigarette", "wait until adults talk ”, and so on. From their early childhood, emphasize that it is not important to receive piles of gifts, but to give and receive from the heart. By introducing traditions that emphasize the true meaning of the holidays, you can help shape the way a child views the holiday season and what it means to give and receive throughout the year. Wish you a lot of magical moments with your children for holidays!

"Forest" medicine Imagine a new branch of medicine that can teach you to be more active, more relaxed, to control stress, and to reduce the risk of diseases resulting from unhealthy lifestyles, all through being in the woods. This new branch of medicine is called “forest medicine.” It incorporates the impact of forest stays on human health and is a science that encompasses elements of alternative medicine, environmental-based medicine, and preventive medicine. Shinrin yoku (swimming in the forest air) is an element of the tradition of healthy lifestyles in Japan. In Korea, this procedure is called Sanlimyok; it is practiced in Finland, but does not have a traditional name; in Ireland, it is called Boladh on Sioga or bathing in the breath of a forest villa. The term "Forest Medicine" was introduced in Japan in 2006, the following year in England, and since 2009 a summer school of forest medicine has been held at Harvard University School of Medicine. "Shinrin yoku trip" has been used in Japan since 1981 and is a standard health prevention procedure, and the first gathering dedicated to this method was held in Nagano Prefecture. Forests cover 67 percent of Japan's surface, so This method has easily gained great popularity, and from 1981 until today, swimming in the forest air has become a worldwide trend. Swimming in the forest air, as the basic program of forest medicine, belongs to the field of complementary medicine, aromatherapy, and represents preventive and auxiliary therapeutic methods of exposure to aromatic molecules of forest trees with phytoncides that have multiple positive effects on human health and quality of life. People can enjoy during their stay in the forest through the stimulation of all five senses: the smell of the forest, the green color of the plants, the forest of waterfalls and the singing of birds, the consumption of forest fruits and the hugging of trees. During 2004-2006. a major program of the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry of Japan was implemented in 2006, which showed significant positive effects of forest stay on human health, using evidence-based methods. The effect on mental health and stress control has been established. Bathing in the forest air reduces the prefrontal activity of the brain, reduces blood pressure, and gives a relaxation effect. The activity of killer cells and the expression of anti-cancer proteins increase. These effects can last up to 30 days after a stay in the forest. It is a medicine that studies the effects of staying in the forest on human health. Forest medicine, in addition to the health benefits offered by staying in the forest, also studies the possible side effects of the forest on health and the possibility of reducing the risks of these effects to a minimum. In 2007, the International Association for the Study of the Effects of Forests on Human Health (IUFRO) was established, and in 2011 the International Organization of Forest Medicine (INFOM), which unites the efforts of world experts to maximize the effects of forest stays on human health and quality of life. . The cradle of forest medicine programs is in Japan, and public health programs, through the use of the health effects of staying in the forest, are largely popular in China and South Korea. Among European countries, forest medicine has become a significant link in public health programs in Finland, Norway, Northern Ireland, and Scotland. Scientifically proven benefits of forest medicine are: Stimulating the immune system Reduction of blood pressure Reduced stress levels Improving mood Increased ability to concentrate, even in children with attention deficit disorder Accelerated recovery after surgery or illness Better sleep Try to find a little time for walking in the forest. It will separate you from problems and stress and make you healthy, happy, and relaxed.

In search for happiness What is happiness? We all want to be happy, but do we know what happiness really is? Man is in an eternal search for happiness. Everything he does, he does to be happy: he creates a career, earns money, surrounds himself with material goods, seeks the love of his life ...The question is, what does it really mean to be happy? People have been thinking about that since time immemorial. Being happy means being satisfied with life and feeling fulfilled, that could be a simplified definition. Happiness is different for everyone. For example, in my opinion, happiness is to have good friends around me, family support, fine and healthy child. But, for my friend happiness is when he can travel around the world, to have the last model of a smartphone. So first we need to understand what makes us really happy to know what to look for. We often follow other people's paths to happiness, which in the end leads us to disappointment. Attitudes imposed by the family, the environment, society, the media can blur our horizons so that we do not recognize what it is that we really want. Man is a social being and everything that happens around him strongly affects his life. No matter how good we are, we cannot be completely happy if the people around us suffer. Today, there are various books and teachings that come from the West, which say that a person is born to be constantly happy, not to suffer, to always be cheerful and in a good mood. Sometimes it seems to me that happiness is imposed on us as an imperative-command. What would happen if we really managed to achieve a state of constant happiness. We would probably get used to it in time, as we are used to all the beauty that surrounds us, and soon we would not even be aware that we are happy. That is probably why everything is made of opposites: life and death, day and night, health and disease, joy and sorrow, happiness and unhappiness ... It is normal to be in a bad mood and sad sometimes. It is completely natural for us to feel anxiety and fear in some difficult situations. When we are hurt, crying gives us relief. As the sun shines the strongest after the rain, so our joy is greater after the sorrow. And so don't be afraid of bad emotions and don't even suppress them. Allow yourself occasional moments of weakness, but try to find as much as possible everything you enjoy, what you laugh at from the heart, what makes you alive. Just as day and night are constantly changing, so are joys and sorrows, happiness and unhappiness in our lives. Only if we learn to know what true happiness is for us and if we try to have as many such moments in our lives as possible, we will overcome all the storms that occasionally hover over our lives without much difficulty. Happiness is in little things. Before you start to search for happiness, look better, check it - maybe you are already happy!

Learn kids how to overcome the fear of Covid-19 Our daily routines have changed, we don't know how we will live from Monday or tomorrow, and the media that report minute by minute on the number of infected coronaviruses with the virus that is increasing day by day, talk about a new vaccine or about the interruption of classes. This is talked about in all media, discussed in the family, and at school, children are given recommendations on protection measures so that they do not become infected… In general, parents find it harder to cope with this situation with the coronavirus than children, and the anxiety that can occur in children is often transmitted from the parents. Children learn from us by both watching and listening. It all depends on the behavior of the environment and the parents. We should not be dramatized. We must talk with children about every fear, every question they ask. Children should be talked to like adults, on topics that interest them. The child will have fear when he sees that the parents also have fear. In small children, the parent does not have to say anything to the child to upset him, because, according to our physiognomy, the child recognizes the need to be scared. In this emergency situation, we must learn to talk to the children and get used to being alone with ourselves and our families. With small children who do not understand speech, you can also "talk", you can play or listen to music. We should not intimidate children with the coronavirus, but teach them how to react in such situations. Today, stress and depression have become the leading diagnoses in psychiatry, but stress is not treated by a psychiatrist and drugs, but by people, family, and friends. So, don`t expect doctors and drugs to solve the problem, WE must do it ourselves. We must help kids to overcome this bad period. These are my tips on how to help the children: Don't read a lot of articles and tips about coronavirus, vaccines, the number of patients… Make a selection and limit the time you will spend reading topics related to coronavirus. It is easy to cross the line between the need to be informed and the situation when we "drown" in all that news. If this information bothers you, then skip it and read something else. Do some interesting activities for yourself and your family. Use this time to learn something new. Make cookies, play with puzzles, paint, listen to music with kids. Talk to the children and pay them a little more attention than you normally do. It's hard for everyone to accept that our old routines are no longer possible due to coronavirus precautions, but it's important to be flexible and start a new routine that can help you feel less anxious and comfortable. Establish routines such as exercising, preparing interesting meals, or going to bed earlier, because all this is very important for regulating our mood and our worries. If the children are at home and follow the classes at a distance, they need help to create the structure of the day. Children easily fall into boredom or anxiety if there is no structure of the day. In addition to compulsory learning, it is necessary for children to have contact with friends. If you have agreed to reduce direct social contacts then allow children to communicate with friends through various channels on the internet. However, be careful that children do not spend too much time with the phone or computer, as this will produce some other consequences. Children learn by model and that is why you try to be a good example to your children. It is important that you are well. In general, children adopt a model of parental behavior, not only in childhood but throughout life. Until my new article, stay safe and healthy!

Parent in the virtual age On the one side, there is a social imperative to be a perfect mother or father, on the other, a reminder of a psychologist that there is no ideal formula for education, and there is also a desire to find the best kindergarten, the best teacher, the best coach… Parents are confused. When I was a kid, the main "advisors" in raising a child were parents and grandparents. When kids start to go to school, the teacher takes the role of "third parent". Everything was simple, we knew what are our obligations, what are our rights. Today, parents are facing a paradox - there have never been more books on scientific and popular psychology about raising a child, and parents have never been in a bigger dilemma about how to raise their children. Before the alarm sounds, modern parents usually receive messages from a Viber group through which they are informed that the teacher will give a checklist and question the multiplication table. When they wake up and open their "window to the world" or "Facebook" or "Instagram", parents are offered the latest books in popular psychology, and on the way home from work on the radio they usually listen to a lecture by a psychiatrist or pediatrician who talks about the benefits or defects in vaccination or corporal punishment. Modern parents encounter the so-called paradox of choice, which in translation means that people faced with a large number of possibilities are becoming increasingly confused and indecisive. In addition, today there is a strong social imperative to be the perfect parent. Because, how not to be perfect with so much advice, books, internet, social networks, psychologists, life coach… It is forgotten, however, that psychology is not an exact science and that there are no universal formulas that guarantee that a child will be great if he is brought up in a certain way. The idea is constantly being imposed that the child is plasticine from which, with the help of correct sculpting, a fantastic figurine was obtained. It is forgotten that a child is a "product" of genes and the environment, and research done on identical twins, separated after birth and raised in completely different conditions shows that they achieve more or less similar results in life, regardless of the upbringing, social environment in which they grew up and the quality of education they had. Parents are constantly sent messages of the type - if you read a certain book, attend parental coaching, or send a child to a certain activity, you will get the perfect child. Many parents are so exhausted in trying to control all aspects of their child's life - from choosing the best kindergarten, the best teacher, the best coach - that they often do not have time to enjoy parenting. Living in the narcissistic environment of social networks, in which there is imperative to share every success on "Facebook" or "Instagram", they become frustrated when they see that another child get a medal in rhythmic gymnastics or received an award for the best composition in French. The biggest change in parenting occurred with smartphones, small computers that perform more than 50 functions. Phones have replaced TVs that played the role of "baby sitters" in a family that occupies children's attention, and children have been given a window into a world that has become more interesting than the world itself via mobile phones. Because of that, they started retreating to their rooms, which suits the parents themselves, because they are afraid for the safety of their children. Modern research shows that members of the "son-in-law" generation spend as much as seven hours with the phone, and only two with people - the consequence of which is an increase in anxiety-depressive disorders and a lack of social skills. However, parents are also the ones who spend most of their time on social networks where they watch what happens in other families and how other parents raise their children. Parenting has become digital - moms and dads no longer have time to go to school, but that is why they have an insight into the electronic diary and grades of their child. However, I think that the biggest change was in the attitude towards school. In the past, parents and teachers were allies, and today parents are allies with their children. In all that chaos, I am confused, but I try to find some balance between technology and good old methods of raising a child. Sometimes, the only I can say is: "Let`s pray for our children".

6 simple activities that are good for your child Play and fun have great benefits for the overall development of the child. As parents, we always want to raise a happy, motivated, independent child. Because of that pressure, people constantly have the feeling that we need to do as much as possible - they buy educational toys, enroll them in additional activities, teach them many things so that we don't fall behind in anything. As a single mother, I don't have money for expensive toys from stores, but I have something better: simple activities which are great for children`s development. We did it when my kid was little, we are doing it now, too. **1. Encourage your child to play with simple toys** One of the best activities is a game that the child will completely lead. Through it, he learns some skills that will be used in creating success later in life. Let the child play alone or with friends without your guidance. We all sometimes have the feeling that we need to be constantly present and entertain them regularly. Get away from looking for ideas for a while - give the child boxes, dice, and other simple requisites and let them play on their own. **2. Playing outside is very important** Going outside is a very important item in physical and mental development. Time in nature develops skills such as listening, attention, regulation of emotions, ability to cooperate. Playing in the grass, in the mud, in the rain, in the snow gives an extraordinary feeling of nature that children often miss in these times. We all need fresh air. Go for walks, let the child walk barefoot, let him pick flowers, and observe the nature around him. Touch with nature is different every time, and every time kids can learn something new. **3. Allow healthy risk-taking** A healthy level of risk helps the child to cope in such situations when they grow up. Lack of opportunity to take risks leads to fear and aggression. This, of course, does not mean engaging in life-threatening situations. Healthy risk-taking can be faster running, jumping from a higher height than before, any game that will cause a small amount of fear that the child has to deal with. So when you want to tell your child:‘watch out’, stop and consider letting him take a risk at that moment. These are great ways to boost immunity, mental, and emotional strength. **4. Give the child time and space without adults** While older children need to have time for independent play, it is important to find a separate space for them. It is important not to interrupt them or monitor them in the game. Let them separate in a room or other part of the room to focus on their own game. **5. Let them participate in housework** Practical life skills, also known as obligations, for children are anything but that. They are born to be helpers. They love to be involved in everyday affairs and it is important that you allow them to do so. In that way, you will create in them a sense of responsibility and an opportunity to feel as if they have done something nice for the house and the family. You can start very early. A child can wipe the table with a cloth, or do some simple tasks. Allow them to put their clothes in the washing machine, push a button, or be next to you making lunch. Practical life skills develop a child mentally and psychically. Carrying bags from the store requires strength and strengthening of different muscle groups at once. Fine motor skills are developed by cleaning fruits, pouring water, spreading jam on bread. **6. Do not be afraid of boredom** When you allow boredom to be a part of a child's life, then you create in the child the ability to create his own way of having fun without anyone's help. Boredom is a way for a child to learn to cope with discomfort and to feel himself. This way you give the child a chance to just understand some things, to learn what makes him happy, to be creative, independent, and self-confident. Intentionally, do not take toys on your travels, shopping, or restaurant. Start with small things, and you will be amazed at how much creativity there is in that little creature when he is bored. I hope I remembered you on some simple things we can do for our kids. Don`t waste your money on expensive toys. Instead of that, do some of these simple things with kids. That will be useful for them and you will enjoy it together.

How to raise a happy and successful child? Raising happy children is not about giving them instant satisfaction or instant happiness. In fact, it is the opposite. You can help your children to be good people by adopting healthy living habits. **Let them play outside** Don't underestimate the power of outdoor play. Running on the grass, climbing trees, sitting on a swing, and digging in the dirt is good for children. They must be in touch with nature. Scents associated with nature, such as pine, cut grass, and lavender can improve your child's mood. Therefore, you could encourage your child to read a book outside or do homework on the terrace. Or put your umbrella and go walking with the kid, or make a Snowman when it is snowing. Outdoor play can also improve children's social skills. **Limit the time in front of the screen** Your child may insist on sitting in front of the screen for hours. But, it is not healthy for them. Too much time in front of the screen is bad for your child's psychological well-being. A 2018 study found that adolescents who spent less time on their digital devices and more on non-screen activities - such as sports, homework, hobbies, and other personal activities - were happier. **Don't buy them everything they want** Buying a child a lot of gifts for the holidays or giving him everything he wants will not really make him happy. In fact, excessive enjoyment of children can actually affect their psychological well-being. So resist the urge to give your children everything they want. Although they could insist that they will be happy to have the latest smartphone, branded clothes, and a better bicycle - research indicates the opposite. They must learn that happiness is not in material things. **Practice gratitude** Incorporating gratitude into your daily life could help children become happier, healthier people. But keep in mind that there is a big difference between forcing "thank you" and the sincere meaning of gratitude. One of the best ways to help children become sincerely grateful is to model gratitude. Express gratitude when you are grateful for something to someone else. Expressing gratitude for the things your children do will teach them to do the same. They learn from examples and repeating. Gratitude people are happier people, they enjoy better relationships. Make it a family habit to talk about the things you are grateful for. Identify three things you are grateful for at the table or talk about what you are grateful for at bedtime. This will help your children learn to look for things they can be grateful for in their daily lives. Every evening, before sleeping we talk about the past day and thank God for everything that happened that day. We thank God because we have to eat, drink, for a cozy bed, warm home. **Have high expectations - but not too high** While it is not fun to spend hours learning for a test or practicing a musical instrument, children who tend to do hard things are more likely to live happier lives. Studies show that when parents have high academic expectations of their children - children are better educated and last longer in difficult tasks. Great expectations are also associated with school and social resilience. Your children will strive to meet your expectations as long as your expectations are reasonable. Setting a ladder too high for your child's success is likely to be counterproductive. **Learn self-control** A study from 2014. found that people with better self-control report more good mood. People with better self-control were also not as often embarrassed as other people. They basically set themselves up to be happy. **Present them tasks and responsibilities** Your children will certainly not be happy to clean the room or wipe the dust from the living room. But assigning jobs could be a key factor in helping children achieve long-term happiness. One study found that doing little tasks with children aged 3 and 4 is the biggest predictor of long-term success. It is possible that children who are engaged in the house working feel as if they are useful, and that helps them feel connected to their family. And that sense of connection can help them stay mentally strong when they encounter difficult times. Homework can also teach children various life lessons as responsibility and socially useful work. It can also teach them that they can fight with boring tasks or that they are able to be persistent even when they feel frustrated. It can also give them a sense of accomplishment and show them that even though they are young, they are capable of making changes. So, help your children in the long term, not just for now. Maybe it will not be pleasant at this time but in the future, they will be grateful for all things you are doing now for them. And you will feel fantastic when you see them as happy and successful people.

Challenges of single parenthood Raising a child, giving him a good foundation to become an independent, responsible, useful member of society, is one of the greatest tasks one can try to do. Today, many strive to achieve this goal as single parents, whether they find themselves in it by coincidence or by conscious choice. “Being a mother means learning about a strength you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t even know existed,” are Linda Wooten’s famous words that apply to all mothers around the world, but perhaps most of all to those raising children alone. Life gave that roll to me when my husband died. When I became a mother, in the first days I felt confused, did not know can I do it. I did not know what challenges expect me. But, I had no choice. Life pushed me through the challenges of single parenthood. In that adventure, I looked eye to eye with these challenges: PROBLEMS WITH MONEY - It is not easy to take care of children`s needs even when you have a partner and multiple sources of income. But when you are alone, everything depends on you. I was forced to come back to my job when my son was one year old. I took him to kindergarten. That period I will never forget. It was full of worry, stress, tears until he got used to collective. Sometimes, I was forced to do several jobs. I was tried to earn money in every way. On the other side, searching for additional sources of income took my time, so I felt like I don't spend enough time with my child. LESS FREE TIME FOR PERSONAL NEEDS - In the first months when I became a mother I was happy if I had time for a longer shower. I reduced my needs on basic things: to sleep enough and to not be hungry. I put a child in the first place of priority and forgot about my needs. I am still doing that, never mind that my son is 8 years old. In the first place, he must be feed, he must have all he needs for school, and after that, I can think of my needs. Often I have a feeling of being torn on multiple sides. But, now when he is a schoolboy, I have more time for myself. Now I can make a plan, to go to the hairdresser, to go out with a friend. Those are little things, but it helps me to relax from everyday stress. With good organization, we can find some time for ourselves, because we can raise good children only if we feel good. RESPONSIBILITY FOR MAKIN DECISIONS INDEPENDENTLY - In many challenges and stages of my child`s growing up, I was forced to make decisions alone. Before some big decision, I ask myself a hundred times: is this good for the kid, what if I make mistake, what if this decision is wrong.. That can be very hard because I am the one who is responsible for the kid. THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAPS - I must confess, a million times I said: "I am and mother and father at the same time". That every single mother says. We always try to be as well, responsible, hardworking, sacrificial as the father and mother put together. We see ourselves as doubly responsible. I hope I will not fall into the trap to become too ambitious or too protective and caring. With a help of God my son and I go through life, and it is good for now.

My morning rituals Rituals are things that people repeat in the desire to achieve a certain outcome. Examples of rituals are numerous, and perhaps the most visible in sports. We have all seen examples where basketball players tap the ball in a specific way before free throws or where tennis players take certain steps before the service. The morning ritual is a series of steps you take after you wake up and start the day. The morning can often determine what the day will be like and how you will react to everything that happens to you during the day. So, every morning you have a choice, and you can choose what you will do to start the successful day. Morning is a part of the day when we are full of energy to make our plans into reality. You don't need too much time to implement some rituals. It is important you enjoy them. Everyone has their own rituals in the morning hours. Some likes to sit in peace and silence with a cup of coffee, someone likes to go jogging.. **How I do it?** First, when I open my eyes, I see my child. That is the first reason for a good mood, motivation to get up and walk into the new day. Second, I thank God for giving me one more day to live and see the daylight. Thank God he gave me a healthy, nice, and clever boy. Thank Him for waking me up and nothing hurts me. Thank Him for a warm home, breakfast. Because many people don't have it. Then, I stretch myself in bed a few seconds and get up. Sometimes, the kid sleeps, sometimes he wakes up, too. If he is awake, he usually watches cartoons or playing with toys in the bed. While he is in bed, I go to do morning hygiene and dressing up. No matter if I go to the job, or stay at home, I like to look nice. Of course, when I am home, I will not put full makeup :) After that, I make breakfast for me and my son. While I am doing that, he does morning hygiene and dresses up. During breakfast, we making plans for that day. These days I don't go to the job, so, after breakfast is coming my favorite morning ritual. I make a cup of Turkish coffee, sit in the chair, and watch through my window. In front of the window is my yard. I simply love it. It is full of plants and trees, and it is nice in every season. I enjoy looking at all of those colors and the chirping of birds. When it is a snowy winter, I put the bread crumbs on the window, and birds come there to eat. I enjoy watching them. In those moments I am relaxed and I usually don't think anything. This lasts about 5 to 10 minutes. That is how much time I need for myself to set my mind and prepare for all that day brings. So, if I can take some time for myself in the morning, then you can do it, too. Just choose what you like to do in the morning. I like to drink a coffee in my chair a front of the window, maybe you like to read newspapers, or exercise, or watch TV to see the morning news.. It doesn't matter what your morning rituals are - as long as they help you start the day the way you want and in a way that will allow you to have a good, productive, and successful rest of the day.

Believe in God and you will never be alone When you are passing through a hard period in life and don`t know how to move on, turn to God and you will feel better. Faith affects people in many positive ways. It gives us the strength, hope, and patience we need to step through life. If you believe in God you will never be afraid. His light will guide you through dark days and nights. His wisdom will help you when you are lost. I have one ritual which I do every day and night. Every morning I thank God for he waked me up live and healthy. Every night I thank him for all things that happened in the day. This ritual helps me to feel I am not alone, feel like someone listens to me and takes care of me. If you believe in God you will realize that you can not lose anyone or anything. Good took away something or a person from you for a reason. Nothing happens by accident, be sure of that. God has a plan for all of us. He knows when something has fulfilled its purpose. When a man finishes his mission in this world, he goes to another. God send us messages through some people who are around us. Sometimes, when you hear an inside voice, be sure that the angel said it to you. Just listen to it and you will never be in the wrong way. God allows people to make mistakes because he wants us to learn something from them. Your mistakes make you a stronger and wiser person. The pain you were going through, brought you closer to God. You never lose because God only takes what can hurt you. It takes away things that would break your heart even harder. ***When it gets harder, it`s a preparation for something bigger and better*** If you believe in God, you will never lose hope. Even when your whole world is breaking down. Even if you feel you can not do anything to solve the problem. Even when you feel abandoned by people, God is with you. When you are alone, you are the strongest, because God is with you, and his power is the biggest. When he closes so many doors at the same time, God is actually creating new space for something better. He tells you that you have to change the direction you walk and don't worry, he will show you the way, just believe you are in good hands. Some bad situations, like the death of a dear people, disease, injustice will make you to think that God not exist, but if you look back on those moments, you will see that he was actually just preparing you for something better. Or to make you a better person. Every time your life got harder, God prepares you for something that would make it easier later. If you believe in God, you will never doubt his decisions. You will always have faith, even you will not understand what God has to say to you. Be sure that he looks years and years forward, and he knows what is best for you. ***We get it when we know how to appreciate things*** You will realize that the Universum works in your favor, and not against you when it does not always give you what you want. It gives you what you need at a time when you will be able to appreciate and love it. Everything comes when it is really time for that. If you believe in God, you will always be happy. Simply, you will be satisfied with the things he prepared for you at that moment. You will be happy because you don`t have to worry about little things. When you know that God is on your side there is no reason for fear. There is no reason for worrying. You will never be alone. You will never be sad.

A few advices for self mothers Parenting is sometimes reminding of the circus. Juggling (with obligations), acrobatics, dressage, and playing clowns. When you have a husband, that is easier, but when you are alone in that circus than you have to try extra hard. I managed to organized my own circus with these few rules: BE POSITIVE! Look at your situation with pink glasses. Remind yourself that you got the biggest present from God. And you should take care of that little angel. And how you will do it if you are always nervous, angry if you yelling all the time? There is no way. Kids are like a sponge, they absorb every our emotion. So, try to be smiling more. Don't allow your child to see tears on your face. DON`T BE NERVOUS ABOUT THINGS YOU DON`T HAVE INFLUENCE That is a waste of time and unnecessary nervousness. If you can not change something, or that doesn't depend on you, just learn to accept it and live with it. Instead of that, change focus on better things. FIND EXHAUST VALVE Everyone should have their own exhaust valve, especially self mothers. That can be anything you like, big or little things you enjoy. Things you do for yourself will reflect on your child. Happy mother-happy child! It is simple. Do things you like to do, that can be interior design, growing plants, reading, drawing. Your time is when the baby sleeps. Call your friends, see what`s new in their lives. ACCEPT THE HELP Don't be ashamed to ask for help. Friends, cousins, grandmothers, grandfathers can be very useful. It will be a pleasure for them to take a kid to walk while you paying bills, or go to the hairdresser. You must find little time for yourself. Financial help is always welcome. Ask about your rights and use everything you can. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF In order to raise a healthy and happy child, we must be in good shape. At first, we must be full-fed and asleep. Those are the basic things. Without food and sleep, we can not function. Further, face and hear care you can make from home, too. When baby sleeps, make a pilling, put masks on the face and hair, do your nails, eyebrows, make a bath.. That little rituals make us satisfied. Be pretty for yourself. BE CAREFUL WITH MONEY Raising a child with only one salary can be very stressful. Sometimes we can not buy everything that kids want. So, we must be rational with costs. Make a list of costs and see what you can reduce. Buy only the things you need for you and your child. Without expensive toys, shoes, bags, that you will need in this period. Take care you don`t late with paying bills and supply a fridge with good, healthy food. That is the most important. While you are in a bad financial situation, don't make long-term plans. Live from today for tomorrow. SAVE MONEY ON EVERY STEP It is very important to know that you must be ready for the unexpected situation with a kid (they are often ill, make injuries..) and you must have some money sideward. Open savings account for your kid. Try to put some money every mounth. Or, when grandparents or cousins give money to kid for birthday, put it on that account. That money can save you in some urgent situations. Buy on actions and sales. You don`t need expencieve and new baby stroller. Find secondhand on internet, or make a change with other moms. Facebook is full of groups when parents who do that. WATCH THIS AS JUST A PERIOD IN LIFE Like old people say: "After rain comes sun". All of us have good and bad periods in life. Joy, happy, sadness, stress.. we must live with all of that. When it is hard, remember, it will come time when it will be better. Thank you for reading my advices, I hope it will help some mother .

Self mother - super mother! From the beginning, I am a self mother because my husband died when I was pregnant. I did not have a choice, only I could do is to accept that situation and keep going. I am sure that every woman is confused when became a mother for the first time. We need some time to realize what happened to us, and what is waiting for us. Total madness and immeasurable happiness at the same time. Day by day, I started to realize that: I will have new obligations I will do everything alone, or with little help from my mother I will always be sleepless I will be lonely I will not have a social life In the first days, of course, and after, the most important thing was is to breastfeeding my baby. It was only important that my baby is fed and clean. I admit it was very hard, but at the end of the day, when the baby fell asleep I was satisfied and proud My son never lived with a father, so he considered that our family is normal. Because of the hard financial situation, I came back to my job earlier. He started to go to kindergarten when he had one year. Later, he will see other kids have moms and dads. And, one day he asked me where is his father. I told him that we are family, there are different families, with one parent, with two parents. I said: "I am and mother and father at the same time". And he accepted that. We had many situations when was hard to explain to the kid`s brain why is that so, why he has an only mom, why not have both parents, like other kids. Now, I am looking at him, he is 8-years old boy. He is a healthy, good-looking boy, everybody likes them. He is nicely brought up and clever, successful in school. That is my success, too. That is my little victory, I hope it will be good and further. There are a few good things that came out of this situation: I became stronger in every way I finally find out what pure love is I discovered that I can do so much more than I thought I pushed my boundaries So, every day I thank God for giving me such a good child and for putting me in this situation, to be 200% responsible for my child. Because I learned how strong can be and how to fight for my little family.

Little things which helps a lot There is no man in the world who don't have a problem. All of us have something that gnaws at us. And in that moments all of us are concentrated on fixing that problem. Further, it leads us to nervousness and stress, and we lose the strength which we need to find a solution. Instead of getting annoying, we should calm down, and look around us. Because everywhere around us there are so many little things that can help us to feel better in bad moments. One of those little things is a cup of hot chocolate. When I am sad I always make it, take a blanket, and watch my favorite film. You can make a cup of tea, cocoa, whatever you like. Warmness from the cup will warm up your soul. A long walk can help too. Fresh air will clarify our thoughts. The best is when you walking after rain when the air is clean. Music is also a great thing that can relax us. Make a cup of tea and enjoy your favorite music. It will relax and cheer you up. Books are the best friends of people. They take us into some new world of imagination. When we reading a book, we are forgetting about our problems. We can always learn something new from books. It is proven that people who read books are better at solving problems. Playing with children can help a lot when we have some problem, or we are under stress. We can learn a lot from our children. They can give us great lessons, just watch them! Pets can be great friends, too. They give us love unconditionally. Time spent with pets is full of tenderness and love. I give you a few suggestions for relaxing and keep calm when you have some problem. That helps me, and I hope it will help someone else. You try this or try other things which you enjoy (painting, dancing, swimming, singing), and you will see, when you start to enjoy little things, you will start to look at life with other eyes.

How to get over partner`s death At the moment when my husband died, I was pregnant. That was a big shock for me. In the first days, I did not know what happens to me. I was angry, I was denied that fact, crying, could not eat.. I was in emotional and physical chaos until one day when I woke up and decide to stop with that. Everything has a beginning and an end. When I realised that this behaviour will not be good for my baby, I decided to stop it. But, how? At first, with a help of my family and friends. They tried to make me laugh, we went to long walks, to coffee bars, wached movies. Slowly, I started to feel better. Another big thing that back me to life was that soon I should be a mother. That was big motivation to keep on. Preparations for childbirth takes me a lot of time and turned gray minds. I was going to church, and that helped me too. But, the most important thing that helps when we should get over someonse`s dead is to ACCEPT that. Without that, we can not go further. In that situations we can not fix anything, we have no power to change anything. So, when you face with situation that can not change, simply accept it. And find the way to live with it. Bad thoughts just can ruin our health. Tourn to nice things, they are all around us. Play with children, go to the river, that relaxes so much. Read good book, enjoy in hot chockolate, ice cream, or favourite cake. Go to walking with a dog or friend. That are little things, but good for our soul and can help to us to get over bad periods in life.

Can we change someone? I have got into marriage with the hope that everything will be great, fine, like in a fairy tale. Really, I can not say any bad word about that start. I started a new life from the root. New town, new friends, new job, a new relationship. We were living together, everything was fine. But, with time, I recognize some signs that something is wrong. Shortly, I find out that my husband is a drug addict and drug dealer, too. I will not bother about those details, because we all know how life can be with a person like that. Because I am a fighter and because I loved him, I wanted to change him. But, can we change someone if he doesn`t try? No way, but I was persistent to keep up our marriage. I spoke with him day and night, told him to stop ruin himself. It didn`t help. After one life dangerous situation, he started thinking to change his way of life. But, his situation needed professional help. We went to the doctor, made an appointment, she started to work with him. After a few days, it was a little better. Then, again the same story.. I felt like in a vicious circle. Without exit. I tried so much, talk to the therapist almost every day. She helped me to be stronger, to learn how to talk to my husband, how to overcome that situation. Those days I find out that I am pregnant. Happiness, sadness, trepidation for furder life.. a hundred feelings were mixed in me. The biggest wish, to have a child, is coming true, but under the shadow of the situation with my husband. After he finds out that he will become a father, he decided to go to medical treatment and that gives me new hope. He goes to another town to get professional help, I stay home. Healing is finished, my husband comes home as a new/old man. Everything is fine, my pregnancy goes well, we think about a name for the baby, arrange the room for him, and other things future parents do. But, (there is always some "but"), the bad thing is that the old friends of my husband back. I knew it will not be good. And I was right, unfortunately. The same story about vices starts again. And again, I ask for professional help. Again, no results. Because of my pregnancy, I decided to back to my parent`s house to find peace. My husband prays me to go back to him, promises that he will change, promises he will not hang out with old friends, but I don`t have the nerves for a new circle of vices, stresses, and problems. I decided to stay in my born town, at my parent's house, and hope he will learn the lesson. I thought that he will change not because of me, but because of the future child. That has not happened. One day, the mother of my husband calls me and tells me he is dead. Deep in my soul, I knew that will happened one time. And I knew I can not change him no matter how much I tried. God is my witness that I do my best to help my husband. Unfortunately, I did not succeed because HE doesn't want to change himself. So, remember: people around us, friends and family can help us when we have a problem. Doctors can help, too. Everything can be fixed, but if YOU want. At first, YOU must have a will to change yourself, to help yourself. And you should be happy if you have people who want help in that process. But, if YOU don't want to change, everything falls into the water. My advice for this time and the lesson from this true story is to not lose time, nerves, and energy to help someone who doesn't want to change. That is loosed battle. I learn this from my experience, and I wanted to write it. Maybe it will helpful for someone.

My wrong decision I wouldn`t know how to rationally explain that.. simply, love came into my life suddenly and turn me upside down. I was a 27 years old girl with a great job, many good friends around me. I could afford expensive trips, outs, shopping.. I had a good life. The only thing in my life I was not satisfied with was the love situation. Namely, I was in an open relationship with a man who is 18 years older than me. He is a sportist, good looking and all women wanted him. Often we had quarreled about that. I always doubted that he cheated on me. We were breaking up 3 times in a month. It was a turbulent relationship with a lot of ups and downs, full of passion and stress too. He was a widow with 2 kids, he always had some problems, and I did not have an understanding of it. In that period mother`s instinct awoke in me. I had a wish to have a child. There was no future with my man. Somehow, in my life comes a new man from another town: good, gentle, full of understanding. Apparently, a great chance for marriage. I fell in love like a teen. It seems everything will be great, I will have my family, kid. I forgot old love. I was angry at him, because of all that quarrels and problems. I tell him, I will move from this town, we had a big quarrel that night I will never forget. I was so mad, did not want to see him anymore. That night I decide to start living with my new boyfriend from another town, I leave the job, family, friends, and starting a new life. But, there were things about my new boyfriend that I did not know. That things (alcohol and drugs) will later kill my ex-husband. So, the lesson from this article (frame from my life) is to not make big decisions in rage, fury, in stressful moments. That decision is always wrong. No matter what is about, wait. Calm down, sleep, get a drink, anything.. Just not make decisions in that mood. Think twice, think hundred times, ask friends, and family about that. You don't need to do like they say, just listen to what they have to say. Go to church, pray to God to give you some sign, do anything. But, again, don`t make decision when you are angry. Because, some consequences of our wrong decisions can change our lives forever. Some things we can never fix.