Finance in Marriage/Relationship

If the issue concerning finance does not receive proper attention, it can cause conflict and untold hardship in any marriage. It does not matter how meticulous, rich or poor one may be. The income of the man or the woman must not be a hidden affair. Your decision on any issue relating to family finance should be a mutual thing.

It is not good if any of the spouse is denied the knowledge of how the family finance is being managed, notwithstanding who earns the income. The money is yours. The couple should decide together on what to do with what is theirs. The husband however has the final say. Nevertheless, he must be wise in taking decisions.

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You create room for doubts and distrust when the family finance and it's management becomes a hidden agenda. Common goal suffers the very moment there is unmarried opinion in financial management. Just as it is true that the center does not hold when things fall apart, the family peace sags when decision on financial management and distribution is unilaterally taken. ( Decision made and concluded by one person). There is always a conflicting element when there is no sense of unity.

Different couples have their dispositions on financial management and distribution Viz. rents, fees, feeding allowance and sundries bills. To ensure progress, the best approach to financial management is mutual agreement. Consensus saves the couple the conflicts such as financial mismanagement could engender. The two must be one. Hide nothing about it. Practice this noble suggestions. The result is wonderful.

A wide gap develops in the relationship over situations where the man or the woman points at a property and claims sole ownership. It also proves that they are yet to appreciate what marriage truly is. For a healthy marriage favour the use of pronouns - 'we', 'us' and 'ours' instead of 'I', 'me', or 'mine' endeavor to apply the pronoun 'we' where 'I' sounds Selfish. In addition, use 'ours' where mine suggests division. This is a workable logic in relationships, namely marriage.

A couple should handle financial mattes the way it best suits them, and their immediate family members. Stop making comparison, as you are not in competition with anyone else. Although nothing is too small to be of consequence, superficial (unimportant) issues should not confuse the reality.

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Acceptably, some spouse point accusing fingers at each other, charging them of extravagancy, lackadaisical (Lukewarm) attitude or even staid (dull) approach to finance management. Undeniably, this is unhealthy. Nevertheless, dialogue, understanding, mutual agreement, being prayerful especially when contracted together, would go long way to checkmating the ugly menace and restoring discipline in the erring partner

In Africa and with special reference to Nigeria, extended family system is the order. Therefore, it would not amount to over positioning to encourage the couples to include both sides of their extended families in their budgets when it is comfortable or the wherewithal permits. Conversely, the in-laws and other members of the extended relations are equally charged with the Same mutuality and understanding. They should play acceptable role that will encourage and assist the couples to succeed.

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