For the past few days, I've been so stressed and depressed about everything about me. My personal self, my family, my academic matters, and even my social status. I've been overthinking and can't help on downing myself, again. Yes, again. I'm not the strong person they used to know, actually, I'm just a bubble, waiting to be popped out.
The reality hit so hard. I am now afraid to face it. If before I'm excited to see what my future will bring, now, I just wanted to be a kid again. I just wanted to go back to my childhood days. I don't care if I don't have a phone, I don't have a laptop, no Wi-Fi, no boyfriend, no freedom to go wherever I wanted to go... just bring me back please.
Maybe I am now struggling with my own focus in life. I just feel unappreciated, not important or alone. I don't exactly know what to feel anymore. Yes, I'm existing but I don't know when will I last.
What is overthinking?
In my own words, overthinking is the state of mind where we think beyond our intellectual and emotional capacities. It mainly affects our critical thinking that made us react with situations differently and unjustifiably. It is something all of us don't want to experience.
For Tony Robbins, overthinking is "to think about something too much or for too long". Yes, it's human nature to think about things through but thinking about it too much to the point that we can't get it out of our head, is what we called overthinking.
Is it an illness? Yes. Overthinking can be associated with mental health issues such as depression, anxieties, post-traumatic stress, or personality disorders. And I think I have these.
It's our OJT season and we've been doing 4 projects in lined with the 4 fields offered in our course. This week is the 5th week, allotted for the finalization, and preparation for the defense next week. But I'm still stuck with my 3rd week project. I don't know why but I just don't have the guts to do this anymore. I don't have my motivation. I've been watching motivational videos, listening to hillsong's songs, and relaxing myself. Also, I don't have my own laptop so I'm just borrowing my sister's.
So many questions, but no one can answer. Overthinking became my habit for a while. I know that I can't stay like this forever, so I did my research.
But before we get to the solution, I suddenly asked myself? Why do I overthink? I think I need to first determine my problem. Maybe I overthink because I am stressed and depressed. I keep on thinking about stuffs and all. I know that I don't have to worry about anything, as long as I do my best, but I feel like my best wasn't good enough. It will never be enough. Upon realization, I know that I need to conquer this stage of my life so that I can reduce and soon, completely stop overthinking.
How to stop overthinking?
Negative and destructive thought patterns come in many forms – and some are worse than others. These thought patterns tend to surface during times of stress and conflict and contribute to the negative effects of overthinking. Two of the most common patterns are ruminating and incessant worrying.
Ruminating means there is a single thought or several connected thoughts that are sad or dark, and that run through your mind over and over again. Rumination is common in perfectionists and can contribute to depression and pushing others away. With incessant worrying, you constantly anticipate and worry about almost anything in your life going wrong. Incessant worrying doesn’t seem to be related to a specific event in your life, but it is deeply related to your limiting beliefs and your story.
Tony says, “We are all telling ourselves stories. The question is, does your story empower you or hold you back?” The stories we tell ourselves about who we are impact every aspect of our lives. Overthinkers may tell themselves, “I’ve always been a worrier” or “I’m just naturally more anxious than everyone else.” These are stories that hold you back and can be especially hard to change if you’ve never asked yourself “Why do I overthink?”
To overcome your limiting benefits you need to first identify them. Then you can catch yourself when you start telling yourself these negative stories and replace them with positive ones, like “I am in charge of my emotions.” Once you change your story, you’ll change your life.
Overthinkers often focus on the past, expending energy on “what ifs” and “should haves.” Those who understand how to not overthink know that the past is just that. It can’t be changed. The only thing you can change is the meaning you give to it.
Letting go of the past means you don’t let your mistakes control your future decisions – and you don’t let bad things that have been done to you control your emotions. You forgive others and let go of your anger. It’s one of the most significant ways you can change your story.
Living in the moment is key to learning how to stop overthinking. Most people can’t just flip a switch and live in the moment – or can they? You can take control of your life and stop negative emotions in their tracks. Identify overthinking before it spirals out of control and take a minute to reset. Breathe and focus on the moment – what are you hearing and seeing? What are you grateful for? At first, it will take conscious awareness. Daily rituals like meditation and priming can help you retrain your brain to live in the moment. Soon you’ll find it comes naturally.
Living in the moment doesn’t mean burying your negative emotions. In order to master your emotions, you need to acknowledge them and identify their root causes. When you’re feeling anxious, dig deeper. It’s often about facing your larger fears, such as not feeling in control of your life or not progressing in a way you’d like to be. Become aware of the root causes of your overthinking and you can start making progress to stop it before it starts.
As Tony says, “Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to solutions.” You’ve identified the real reasons for your stress and anxiety, but your work isn’t done. The only way to learn how to stop overthinking for good is to take charge of your life.
If your overthinking is caused by stress at work, rethink your career path. If you’re not where you want to be in life, set goals for yourself so that you can get there. If you feel like life is out of your control, make a decision today to get back behind the wheel. These are big moves, and they take guts. Remember: No one controls your reality but you – don’t you want your life to be extraordinary?
Overthinkers may have trouble distinguishing between the fear of making a mistake, which leads to overthinking to the point where they make no decision, and a deep feeling that something is wrong. Knowing if fear or intuition is guiding your behavior will help you get out of your head and take the next necessary steps. By connecting to your body, taking a few deep breaths and really feeling what it would be like to make a decision, you can decipher whether fear or intuition are in play and how to best move forward.
Asking yourself the wrong questions – including “Why do I overthink?” over and over – won’t help you identify what’s really going on in your thoughts or your life. They’ll only facilitate more overthinking. Focus on solution-oriented questions that are proactive rather than those that trigger rumination. Instead of asking “Why do all my relationships turn sour?” ask “What energy am I projecting that attracts negative partners?” When you ask questions that allow you to make changes to your own behavior and move forward in a healthier manner, you can reduce overthinking and improve your life.
I know some of you are also experiencing this kind of situation. We have different levels of overthinking. We have different ways to fight our own battles. We have different perceptions. But what matters the most, is that we are doing what we can to stop this and continue our life. No matter where we go, no matter what we feel, we have our own battles to fight, so never judge anyone's feelings or ways on how he/she conquers his/her battles. Different life, different solutions, one goal. <3
Every time I'm overthinking, I prefer to take a break first so I can do well. I don't care if I would have a bad output, the most important for me is I broke the tension hehe
After kong manganak sa first baby ko ,dun ako nagsisimulang mag overthinking😥