The me during my college days.

July 05, 2022

You can't please everybody

This is always my mantra whenever someone would tell that I am indifferent over other people. I can't blend on any other people as I get overwhelmed quickly. I stay behind and observe, it's what I always do. My personality before up to present still the same maybe a little improvement but not that much.

Before I don't like to be called "introvert" as it I thought I am not like not. I know I lack social skills and I rarely smile or nod at other people and I prefer to stay indoor but it doesn't mean I don't want friends. That's what some colleague thought way back and I only learned it now. It's like that word is a slap to my face way back college so I tried hard to interact with them but it seems like it's not enough though.

I've read Mareng Zhyne's article about her college days and it coincidentally, my college mate messaged me and asking how am I doing these past days. I was surprised for they rarely message me. Not that I'm not active in the meet ups with the alumni but it's just plain too awkward for me though. They're not the kind of people that'll judge you base on your status but it really irks me sometimes thinking that they're bachelors while I'm a nobody as I didn't even get to graduate associate because of being the hard headed one. During the enrollment for the second semester, instead of going to school I went to the company my sister's working at and applied and was hired on the spot lol!!

Way back college days, I can say I am really aloof and don't want to talk to my classmate except compulsory like group project and all. It even added that I am working part time during the day and studying at night for I enrolled in the night department. I got anxieties when I was selected as the class treasurer, their reason is because I have field and expertise with it as my family was running an eatery business that time. I am really not confident though but I accepted it as I need to cooperate with the whole section.

I found out from my classmates whom I talked earlier over the phone that they we're really intimidated at me at first. huh? intimidated ? by who, me? Well I am an ordinary student trying to pass paper works on deadlines and would sometimes slack off even though I need to maintain a certain grade lol!! So I don't get where were the getting at me being an intimidated person.

" We can only took a stolen shots of you and hid it for you might dislike us"

Okay, I'm not into social media even though I have acct. I only made it since I need to pass my project using my facebook account. After that submission I neglected using facebook/friendster. I don't even use my phone much unlike when I was in high school. The reason is I have no time to waste using my phone because I have work and I also need to help Mum in the store.

And also why would they be intimidated by me? I'm a boyish type and I don't wear skirts except necessary. I wear backpacks and not shoulder bags, I don't put foundation and always carry a big towel with me hehehe

This was during our acquaintance party and I was assign for the foods, I even request Mum to cook some dish for me alongside ordering in fast food chain. I vaguely remember this moment but I guess I got hungry after the program that I become a werewolf eating human eating fish and eating meat..kidding...

This is me during a program that we need to comply for a certain subject and everyone needs to show their talent. I was challenge by this as it's an impromptu for me. As in I didn't know that we we're scheduled to present that day and I didn't even bring extra shirts and all as I am still working on my part time. When I arrived at school my classmates dress me(the upper part only) as it's Friday that time so it's a rebel/wash day.As I can't think of anything so I just sang. Just imagine singing the song "Hahanapin ko" by Aegis. I almost lost my breath during the ending part on that song.

And this was when they requested me to post for a group picture. It was during the field demo and the School Sports day. Mind you I only joined because it's compulsory hahaha. I don't want minus points so I ended joining the whole section . This happen freshmen years and I was even selected to be one of the representatives to join the main dancer on stage hahah lame. (Mga panahong size 23 palang waistline ko hahaha)

Admit it you also experienced zoning out and ended knocked down on a boring Literature class. I hated that subject and also the SocSci that I sometime doze off. My classmates even have some photos of mine being like this hahahah. I actually don't take pictures as it feels awkward and suffocating. Well, I guess they do find their ways hahaha.

You can tell that I was really awkward during this even(Christmas Party) at first as I was forced to join the girls to do some activities. And because I hate being called an introvert so I slip my way in and join the girls with the contest. hahahaha I didn't even utter a word during this time and my classmates just nudge me to go on hahah.

And boom, see that smile? that 's what you call a genuine smile when you're literally enjoying the activities and you are with the people you've grown accustomed to even though you rarely talks heheh.

My classmate saying they're intimidated of me maybe because I don't talk and just go on with the subject and the projects and so on. I was too focused on something that I forgot I also have classmates who wants to bond with me.

Thank you for reading!