Lovers found their separate ways

The word love appears in many contexts: there is family love, maternal love, love within friendship, a wider love for fellow humans, religious love for God, love for our parents, love for yourself, romantic love, to name but a few. Some cultures have numerous words and different forms of love but whatever it is we should always find myriad aspects of love to celebrate.

How does a human feel love? Scientifically, love is a drive. A feeling of strong or constant affection for a person or something. It is primarily formed in the brain with much influence of hormones and other biochemicals in human body. When the brain starts to make signals and other biological processes, this feeling of great affection gives powerful links between pleasure and the object of our affection. The brain releases hormones that make the lub-dub sound fast and oftentimes can’t control the nervousness in the heart. There are thousands of studies and researches that explains how love functions in human body, but all of those have similarities and fall in one concept: Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. When love dominates the body, it affects the way how human behave, think, act, and respond to a person or something which he/she truly admires most. In the context of human perspective, love is a matter of feeling that flutters her heart and lifting her soul into a romantic excitement, exploration and positive emotions. That’s why they say,”Kapag tumibok ang puso, wala ka nang magagawa kundi sundin ito.” And it makes sense either.

In relation with the title of this article, there are lovers who chose to take their paths separately.

The supposed to be happy ending came to an unexpected finale---cutting the ties, depart and let each other go.

Kate, a 24-year-old medical technologist who really good at cooking and a home all around daughter to his family. She really loves baking, discovering new dishes, fur-momma to her 3 cats and 4 dogs, and a constant diary to my unending stories in life. Kate and I were best of friends since 2012 and she already know almost my life and vice versa. We have been this kind of friendship for almost a decade and up to now especially nowadays that some of our close friends are afar and busy in their works in Manila and Sorsogon that is why we are the only ones left here and became closer day by day. We treat each other as sisters and serve as human listener to every rant, problems, and everything that make us suffocated. Kate is a good friend, well-educated and mannered, kind-hearted, talented, helpful, and has broad understanding. Through of this, there are people who want to take advantage to her because of her goof heart.

On the other hand, Joseph is a 25-year-old man who works as an agricultural engineer in Muñoz, Nueva Ecija. He is also thriving here in Cabiao and his family runs business in public market. As far as I know, he went in Cabiao during weekends and day-offs. Joseph is a close friend of Kate’s brother and they met each other in one occasion. Due to acquaintances, we also we get to be with him on occasions and somehow, we know him well.

To sum things up, Kate and Joseph are good friends before they became lovers. On the 20th of April 2017, Kate’s brother, Egie, was celebrating his birthday. Together with his friends including Joseph, they swam first in nearest resort here in Cabiao before going home to celebrate his birthday. Since the house was ready and Kate is really good in cooking, she called me to help her for preparation. As the boys were enjoying the swimming, Kate and I prepared their meal and other necessities (how supportive friend am I? kidding aside). They went home safely and started to eat delicious foods and sweeties. Afterwards, Kate also invited our friends that time and they went around 7 in the evening. During that time, the celebration was grown vigorously and everyone was happy for Egie because he was finally got his new motorcycle. As the celebration goes well, Kate caught the attention of Joseph wherein everyone could obviously saw his stealthy looks, wide smile, and he always made conversations only with Kate. Me and our friends already know that Joseph had started romantic feeling with our dear Katey (her group nickname).

Even though he rejected many times, Joseph did not give up and make a lot of moves, gives various gifts, and exerted enough effort in order to get a chance from Katey. After a couple of months of courting, Kate was finally let Joseph to go on a date. To make it short, they became lovers. Yeah, she gave her ‘YES’ because she saw the perseverance, determination, and how sincere his love for her. They became in a relationship for 3 years and 10 months and turning 4 years in August. Based on what I have seen, Kate is really happy. I never see her before how happy she is until Joseph came into her life that gives color, enjoyment, and happiness to her meaningful life. Their relationship is just like the normal relationships do—eating together, playing games, always present in family gatherings, building dreams together, traveling in different places, helping whoever needs help, became lean on each other side, misunderstandings, and some usual scenarios that a normal relationship do. They are both happy to each other as they see their future life as a lifetime partners. Until their relationship was challenged….

In any forms of relationship, it should be always a give and take process. If you always give, you must be given as well. If you say that something requires give-and-take, you mean that people must compromise or cooperate for it to be successful. They say, as the season change, people are also change. Change is the only constant thing in this world, it might antiquate but it always brings a concrete idea that no matter how good you are, people will change for the benefit for them. In the latter months of their relationship, Kate approached me. We see each other and she he narrated the changes and what happened in their relationship. According to her, she always understands Joseph, whatever the situation, she always understands him. She always supports and let Joseph to do things that he really wanted because she knows that Joseph will be happy if he always does what he wanted. Joseph who became complacent and unconcerned on what Kate’s feeling and going through because he knows that Kate will never get tired of supporting him, sacrifice her time and energy to help him, understand him, and love him even she forgot how to be loved by him. Yes, Kate forgot herself in order to provide what Joseph needs and wants. On this serious context, they talked to each other and willing to compromise again and again. So, they relationship went just like the normal months and years. Until one night, she noticed that Joseph seemed to be going back to the previous scenario of losing time again. She decided to take a look to his social media account and she was surprisingly shocked on what she have seen—he had conversation with another woman and that conversation tears her sanity into pieces. When he approached Joseph, all the things he could do was to say multiple sorry (how many times he said sorry but the mistakes ended up repeatedly) although cheating is always wrong and it is a choice in the first place but he chose to do it. Apart from his other mistakes and shortcomings, he has done something like this. Kate has been totally devastated mentally and emotionally. She felt betrayed once again and can’t able to build her trust again anymore, it may take a lot of time before she could rebuild it again. As her friend, I sympathized and console her even her eyes manifest sorrow and grievance. For the second time around, Kate gave her trust and full love but wind-up to betrayal and self-worthlessness. Joseph was still asking for chances but Kate was drained, unhappy and got really tired of loving him so they broke and chose the paths separately. Until today, Kate was not starting yet about things that happened to them. She feels sick and tired every day, sudden tears that she can’t hold back with, the dreamed happy ending that became a memory today.

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Hmm, how’s sad it is? Sometimes, the person we trusted the most is the one who break it unexpectedly. The person we once prayed for, is the one who betrays us. It is better to be left broken than putting back together and hurt yourself again gradually. But not all the time, it happens based on what to be happened. To give love and to be loved are one of the most delightful feeling ever. “Sabi nga nila ang sarap magmahal, pero minsan ito rin yung rason kung bakit tayo nasasaktan.” Love is not wrong and it will never be, but lovers do. If you get hurt because of love, it is also definitely the reason of healing but it really takes time, acceptance and patience. There is no perfect relationship and partners because all of us are imperfect, but we have choices, we can think nor decide on the things that is right versus wrong. Love is beyond everything; we literally sacrifice our worth just to give the love they deserve even though we forgot ourselves to be loved and lived for.

Hence, loving yourself must never be forgotten before loving someone. Loving yourself will never be wrong at any time, at any cost.

“Natapos na ang lahat at may mga bagay na ayaw ko nang maalala

“ Yung simula, yung gitna at lalong-lalo na yung dulo

“Gusto kong kalimutan, kung papano mo ako kinalimutan.

“Ikaw ba ang napagod? O ako? O baka naman tayo?

“Wala naman sanang magbabago kung hindi mo piniling magbago”

“Pasensya na, baka hanggang dito nalang talaga tayo”.

Senti Mode: ON

NP: Kung Wala Ka by Hale 🎶