Do you ever know someone who had a darkest deepest secret?

A secret that makes a person's mind unrested, confused, unable to focus, doesn't know what they want to be in the future, unsure of everything and doesn't have a "LIFE" .

Let me tell you a story...

It was 19 years ago . There was a little girl 9 years of age, full of hope, dreams, goal and determination. She was a happy little girl a badass one. She used to be boyish , lovely and very alive. Her boy classmates like to teased her every day that's why every single day she fight them with her fist. She also loves depending her older brother whenever someone bully him but he doesn't like it of course.

Everyday at school was wonderful she also do cutting classes with her brother and hide in cemetery near at school . They just eat and wonder around the cemetery and comes home when the school time was over.

She's the youngest one among the three siblings. They live with her mother and step father since she was 6 years old. Her biological father already had a family of his own with four kids.

Everything was fine until one day....

No one else in the house except her and her step father.

They just watching some movies while lying in the bed under the blanket. When her step father slowly slide his finger on her panties down to her private part and put it inside her. She was startled and didn't moved. Can't think of anything , unsure of what was happening. Her step father ensured that it was okay and its not bad at all. As a child who make her believed that there's nothing wrong about what happened because her step father said it isn't and as a daughter who treat her step father as a real father she obey everything he requested.

Everyday's like that sometimes even though every one was in the house her step dad still finds a way to do his evil deeds . Her step father let her siblings make a house from a blanket while both of them was inside of it doing inappropriate things like she was on her step father's top while both of their underwear was sliding down a bit. Her step father trying to put his manhood inside her but it was too big to fit in her. Thankfully , her siblings step inside the blanket house and that stop him from doing more evilness.

The evilness continue for about 2-3 weeks . Then one day before she goes to school wearing her P.E uniform her step father called her to lay down with him together with her mother . She hesitate at first but choose to obey .Her mother doesn't even have a tiny single idea of what was happening. She's now lying in bed her step father in her side and her mother on her step father side. While her mother was sleeping her father face into her and start sliding her jogging pants down and do the same with his. Just like what happened in the blanket house he started to slide his finger first inside her and pull out his manhood to try again but before something more happen It seems like something hits inside her head. She suddenly felt afraid , her body started to chill. She gets up slowly while shaking but carefully so her mother doesn't wake up. She goes to school like nothing happened.

The time flies too fast.. she's now 12 years old . Do you know what happened after the last encountered? She distant herself from her step father. She couldn't say anything to her mother because she's afraid. AFRAID that her mother believe and favor the bad guy's side and not her which she already know will likely to happen because her mother leave them just to be with her partner.

Not too long ago...

When she's 10 years old her step father found a new woman and leave her mother but instead of taking care her kids she run away and live with him and his new woman. Those kids suffered a lot, to survive they chose to become a slave in their relative in exchanged for a little money and food. They do the dishes, cleaning the motorcycle, and some household stuffs. They eat leftover food that their auntie gave which more like a trash than a left over. And get a mental abused make them feel unlove and unworthy and deserve to be abandoned.

It takes a year before their mother decided to go back but still with him. She just wait until her partner gets bored with another woman.

Back to the present...

As I was saying , she's now 12 years old . Her old self slowly fade. The happy and alive girl was gone now. She's now aloof and very quiet. She thought that everything will be fine for good the day her step father leave but when it came back with her mother her mind starting to feel uneasy again and scared that he might tell what happened to her mother. She continued to live as usual but distant from her family and other people.

Fast forward....

She's now a highschool student everything went well. She's getting better , starting to have friends again, smiling and laughing at school. She looks very normal and fine.

But one night...

While she's sleeping on the bed wrapping herself with a blanket even it's so hard to breathe just to feel safe ( everyday for the past years it's her daily routine to protect herself) she felt that someone's starting to lift the blanket slowly but she act like sleeping then when her side blanket was lifted a big hands grab her bosom, pinch it and stay on it for the rest of the night. She didn't moved nor sleep because she's afraid something might happened even though its impossible because her mother was on their middle. Her step father made it look like a simple stretching of arms while sleeping but she knew it wasn't.

Everyday her anxiety grows she's unrested even taking a bath make her feel nervous she make sure the door was locked. She doesn't know what to do. She wants to tell everything to someone if there's someone she can think of; but no one. She never trust anyone. She let her fear grows every single day for another 5 years. Until one day year 2010 her step father died . She feel sad and cried for him but the strongest feeling she ever had was happiness that finally it's over ! She don't need to hide anymore and no one will never know what happened in the past. It will stay a secret for the rest of her life until her last breath.

Or as she was thought it's over but it's not. Until this day that she's already a grown woman and have a partner she still can't move on from the past. All of her sufferings from abused , abandoning and mistreating she still remembers it.

She's still full of anxiety. She can't even focused on one thing , her mind seems flying somewhere . She's still unsure of everything , afraid to go out in her comfort zone, afraid of rejections, of being judged and afraid that someday her secret will be reveal even though she knew that no one else knows about that except her partner who she trusted to keep it because she can't take it anymore to hide it on herself . She needs someone to listen and comfort her to make her feel loved and valuable..

The end but not literally "the end"This story was very long because her sufferings continue until today.

I guessed having this kind of experience in life was really difficult. We can easily say "MOVE ON" but to those who experienced it may feel like living in nightmares every single day. Even though many years have passed memories will stay in their mind. We never know how long that painful memory stays in the back of their mind . And how long before they get the happiness and peacefulness they deserve to have.

I hope you like it everyone 🙏 pardon me if some of my words, sentence and part of the story makes you feel uncomfortable and confused 😅 it's my first time to do this kind of stuff 😁. Let me know your reactions at the comment section below. Tips on how to write a better article are welcome too. 😊😊😊

No HATE just LOVE 😘😘😘

GOD BLESS US 🙏🙏🙏