What does it mean to be a "Helicopter Parent"

The term parents' helicopter comes from the United States and Canada, and is used to describe parents who are excessively present in their children's lives. At best, they are extremely engaged in the school achievement of their children, very close to them and good counselors who help them overcome difficult periods of life. However, the path from an engaged to an obsessed parent is short…

Helicopter parents do not know how to stop and make a border, they cannot assess when it is time to stop protecting and return their children to some earlier developmental stages. In a way, they fly over their heads and try to ward off even the slightest difficulty or problem that their descendants might encounter.

Helicopter parents think that their children, no matter how old they are, constantly need them. They are very present in their lives, they influence their choices and do not leave them much room for free decision-making.

How did "helicopter parents" come about?

The origin of this phenomenon is related to the cultural, social and economic condition of the society in which we live… Today's families are increasingly deciding on a smaller number of children, and therefore the pressure is greater. We live in a society burdened with perfectionism.

Today, parents feel obliged to give their children all the best - the best vacation, the best education, the ideal childhood, etc., and do not leave room for mistakes that their children could make because they still do not know something and need to learn. In decision-making, they use the personal experience of an adult to make the most appropriate decisions for the future of their offspring. This excessive behavior is a kind of denial of reality and beautification of the image of the world in which we live.

The increasingly competitive labor market and the increasingly uncertain future for all are being denied in this way. Out of a strong desire to help, parents try to give their children all the best, and at the same time do not prepare them for what awaits them tomorrow. The paradox is that helicopter parents dedicate almost their entire lives to the most adequate preparation of children for the labor market (better education, more extracurricular activities, better sports, etc.) for which these children are absolutely unprepared because the whole process of "helicoptering" deprived of INDEPENDENCE!

What are the consequences for the child?

This type of parenting imposes a number of problems for children who have been raised in this way… Above all, these children have not learned to be independent, they have not learned to be responsible and take responsibility for their actions and behaviors, they have not learned to accept successes, nor to be alone. In addition, they are not able to make independent decisions regarding future life without the influence of their parents. In adulthood, children who have had this type of upbringing are more prone to chronic depression due to a lack of tolerance for frustrations.

It is necessary to get rid of the illusion that we can control everything in the child's life. A parent should be a link between reality and the child, of course it is natural to want to protect your child, but at the same time it is necessary to teach him to be responsible and independent, having confidence in him. Instead of a helicopter, isn't it much better to be an inconspicuous aircraft… a parent who helps a child develop independence and who is present and well-meaning, who monitors and protects, but only on special occasions?