A bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law or son-in-law can infect the whole family. You should think about your children the most and learn from your mother-in-law what kind of mother-in-law, that is. vanity to be or not to be when it is your turn to marry a son or marry a daughter. To be a favorite mother-in-law or mother-in-law one day, start preparing for that role while the children are still unde
Accept that your children will grow up and that you will no longer need them.
The very thought of it hurts. Moms take care of their children all their lives, hover over them and worry if something will happen to them. Only moms can call their adult sons boys or boys, even when their hair has long since turned gray. Regardless of the fact that she can't wait for her son to get married and her daughter to get married, it is difficult to leave the care of her children to another woman or man and distance herself a little from the children so that she can live as they want.
Find a hobby.
Men generally have some interests of their own and develop careers, in addition to participating in raising children, while women are predominantly focused on the family. It's not bad to pursue a hobby that fulfills you, for which you will have very little time while the children are younger, but as they grow up and become more independent, you will have more space to do something that inspires you and brightens your day. Whether it's discovering interesting recipes, decorating cakes, writing, handicrafts, dancing, gardening or something else, it is important that you enjoy it and make it feel more satisfied.
Don’t neglect your partner.
It is difficult to maintain a love affair, when the wife is tired of housework, caring for children and when the husband is tired of work and the stress it causes. However, it is not impossible. Try to be kind to your partner, make each other happy with some small gift for no reason from time to time and don't be stingy in declaring love. When you have already chosen the partner in question for your husband and he has chosen you for his wife, I guess you have seen something good in him. Focus on those good qualities of his, because you will find it difficult to correct his shortcomings. Whatever you do to your partner, do it to yourself. Not only in marriage, but also in life, our thoughts and deeds come back to us like a boomerang, so that depending on their nature, they bring us happiness or pain. When children grow up and go their own way, you will stay with your partner and then more than ever the quality of your relationship will come to light. Don't let children be the only thing that binds you. It is really nice to grow old with someone, to have a quality relationship with a life partner, to represent his source of happiness and he yours. Also, your relationship with your partner is an example to your children, who will be guided in their love relationships, which is a strong enough reason to work hard on your relationship.
Make sure you have a good relationship with your mother-in-law.
You will probably understand it better with age. Regardless of the fact that steam is coming out of your ears thanks to her, when a few years have passed and the children have grown a little, you will probably admit to her that she was right about some things. Not for everyone, but for some it is. Certainly, a strained relationship with your mother-in-law will not bring you anything good. Mom is single and cannot be replaced, while wife can. So it’s smarter for you to keep your mouth shut and put a smile on them when Ms. Mom starts grumbling or looking at you sideways if you do something she doesn’t like. You are younger and it will be easier for you to adapt to her than she is to you. This is how it is done, a wide smile so that all the teeth can be seen. Think of it as a great opportunity to practice how to deal with complicated people. When you learn to establish good communication with your mother-in-law or men with your mother-in-law, you will be able to deal with other difficult people as well. Learn from your mother-in-law whatever she is and don't do things to your children that you resent.
You are the mother of your children, but you are not the grandchildren
When you give birth, your grandmother sometimes makes you feel like you are the stepmother to your own child, not the mother. She doesn't do it because she doesn't like you, but she has a lot more experience than you and she doesn't trust an amateur like a new mom.
Until the time comes for you to be a grandmother, enjoy your children growing up to the maximum and bring them up according to your own discretion. Side tips can be useful, but you have the last word.
When you become a grandmother, you will be able to retire with a clear conscience and let your daughter-in-law take care of your grandchildren in her own way, because you will know that you did your best when it was your turn to raise your children.
Nurture friendships
Don't get bogged down in family life and cut off contact with your friends. You can always take some time for some phone calls or seeing each other. When your children start their own families, you will not be tempted to call them every hour, because you will have friends who will be happy with your invitation and with whom you will be able to talk about your children to your heart's content, but also go to the theater, walk or attend. some course.
Find time for yourself
A dissatisfied woman cannot create a happy and harmonious home. Bad mood becomes a natural state for us over time and it is difficult to get out of it. Steal a little time for yourself here and there during the day and use it to take care of yourself. Do exercises, make friends, always have a book in your bag, so while you are waiting in line or riding the bus, use that time to feed your mind with some quality reading material. Eat healthy, nurture yourself and look forward to each new day with a smile. Enjoy life to the fullest, so you have no reason to regret and be dissatisfied when you get older.
Bridging the generation gap.
When I was younger, I knew how to automatically roll my eyes as soon as I heard older people say, "In my time, it was different" or something like that. Now that I am also a mother, I catch myself starting the sentence "In my time" However, I try to use sentences of that type less and less. Life goes on in its natural course, things change and that should be accepted as something inevitable. Children need to be instilled with true values while they are younger and guided by their own example on the path of growing up. Accept that they will have their own style, choose their own friends and make decisions, which we will not like sometimes, but how else to find their way than to think for themselves. You can only hope that you have taught them the right values in time and let them out of the nest when they decide to fly away and become independent.
Accept your children's partners as their choice and respect that.
You didn't want your parents to choose your partners either, so neither do your children. It is important that they are happy and satisfied in love. If that is not the case, when they grow up they have to take responsibility for their own choices and decide on their own lives. Advise them if they ask you for advice. If they don't want to interfere, nothing will be worth interfering with, because with such an attitude, you will probably push them away from you, rather than bring them to their senses. A mother-in-law who is a spice in every soup and watches over her daughter-in-law to make sure she doesn't slack off and at least do as much decent work as taking care of her son and grandchildren and a mother-in-law whose falcon's eye watches her son-in-law's every move as queen, she will certainly not win the title in the election for her favorite mother-in-law.
Find the best in your children's partners
When your children start their own families, do not make life difficult for them by a bad relationship with their partners. Whether it is a relationship with your daughter-in-law or son-in-law, ask yourself if you want to be right or have peace in the house, as well as in your own soul. When you look at the situation from that angle, it will be easier for you to keep quiet about some things and resent them less. It is interesting how people can have completely different opinions about one and the same person. Some will say that the person in question is great, while some will think that she is arrogant and conceited. Try to observe your daughter-in-law or son-in-law one day with the attitude that they have the best intention, even if they do not know how to express it in the best way. Endure today, and look at things from that angle tomorrow. In time, you will become accustomed to not understanding their intentions as bad and you will be able to find a common language more easily. After all, we cannot change other people, we can only change our attitude towards them.
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