November 13, 2022 my saddest day

Waaah its been days since I wrote an article here in read.cash at first because Im a bit busy in my work. I hope everyone are ok, coz now Im really not ok. I do not know how to start this article without crying while writing this, coz I know eventually it will touch my emotion. But I want to share and release the pain that Im still feeling right now. While writing this article I am in the ferry boat waiting to leave the port to see my mom for the last time....

Waaah I thought Im ok now, but I cannot control my tears.

November 13, 2022, Sunday around 430pm I receive the saddest news that I heard in my entire life.

Before lunch time on that day while Im on duty my brother D2 called me via messenger and telling me thst someone from our beighborhood in province called him that my mom is not waking up since morning but she is breathing. Since she has no mobile load Im the one called one of our neighbor to ask what happened, and she told me that my mom is not waking up despite of their effort to wake her up. And they already called the ambulance. After that I called my brother who live with my parents what is the status of our mom but he seems so nervous and feel agitated so he cannot explain clearly since they are on theur way to hospital.

During my break, I asked my friend if her mom experience the same before since her mom is also a mild stroke patient before her mom passed away. And she gave me heads up that I should ready myself for possible worst scenario.

At 430 pm my niece who is the daughter of my cousin called me to give me the saddest news that my mom passed away. I do not know how will I accept that fact... that I will not ever had the chance again to hug my mom...to have chitchat with her, to kiss her, to tell her how much I love her. And she was not able to meet my baby.

Its too painful that I cannot stop myself from crying at this moment. I will just end it here coz I cannot bear the pain that I am feeling right now, I cannot think clearly of what I would write next. I thought I was able to share it today without soo much emotions . But thinking what I will see later burst me into tears.