Feeling of losing someone.

Good day everyone. I have not been active this past few days, coz of my busy sched. Yesterday is the vaccination day of our little one ,and I cannot think also about a new topic aside from what I am feeling until now with the sudden death of my mom. Coz at first I thought that I will not cry again if I will share something about my mom but when I read the article of @Lixten about surviving the loss of spouse, my father crossed my mind and started to cry. Im wondering how he handled it. Coz they are married for more than 50 years already. And the time when we reached our home in province, despite of trying to hold his tears he cannot help it and burst his controlled emotion and hug me. And when the funeral came he told me to stay beside him and he want me just to hold his hand. I told him that they when we started to march "Pa ok ka lang? pag naiiyak ka iyak ka lang para gumaan yung nararamdaman mo". And he answered me back "Ayaw ko makakita ng mga umiiyak. Ok lang ako basta jan ka lang sa tabi ko hawakan mo kamay ko". My father even told me that " sama na lang kaya ako kay mama ( coz thats their endearment to each other, my mom called my father papa and our father called our mothrr mama) During that time I want to burst into tears but I cannot coz I need to be strong for my father since almost all of us are already crying my other brother is attending my emotional sister and the others are crying silently.

This is supposedly not my topic for today but since I remember that article that I read yesterday, I decided to share this one.

This is the first time that I saw my father that sooo sad and looks that he adds lots of years. Yes he is old since he is already 83, but before lots of people says that he looks younger with his age. Looking at this picture made my eyes misty. We know how much they love each other we have seen it in our own two eyes.

For me they are the epitome of a loving couple. Of course they are not perfect they have their own flaws but they decided to stay inlove with each other. Being married for more than 50 years is very rare nowadays.

Now that we are already in Manila and our father left in our house in the province together with my eldest brother who decided to stay there since my father do not want to stay in Manila since we have a property in the province, I wonder how he face the sadness that he is feeling, coz my mom used to be by his side. Coz on my personal experience there are still times that I suddenly cry when I thinking of my mother.

Thats all for today.