It has been almost 2 years since this pandemic started. I can clearly remember that time when the Philippines is looming for a lockdown.
The night of March 12, 2020, I was on night shift then. There were rumours spreading that there will be a lockdown. I shrugged it off thinking that if ever a lockdown will happen, I can get to experience work from home. I was also thinking that the lockdown will last for only a month. Little did I know that will be the last day that I'll be seeing my teammates and the office.
Many things happened that night in my 12hr shift. From rumours, to receiving an email instructing us to get some laptops to take home. From witnessing how long the lines are in the cashier at the grocery, to panic buying of essentials. From a possible person under investigation because he had a close contact to a person who has COVID19, to almost tagging us in our team as PUIs because of that. From disinfecting the whole floor while we were on shift, to issueing us face masks before we go home. I also remembered they conducted an emergency townhall without giving us further information on what to do. It was a long night basically.
After shift, I jokingly told my teammates "See you next month!". And that's it. I never got to see them again.
What if COVID19 didn't happen? What would I be doing now? What's my status?
The pre-pademic reality is getting blurred as time goes by. And I can't help thinking of the things that I should be doing at the moment, without a threat of dying because of the virus.
Maybe if COVID19 does not exist, I could have stayed in my job. I could have signed up for a crossfit class to try on. Maybe, I could've attended more yoga classes than before. Maybe, we could've celebrated my birthday somewhere. We could've have finished planning and building our house in Cavite. Maybe, we could've had a baby. We could've celebrated Peñafancia Festival. We could've gone out of the country for vacation for the first time with my husband. We could've gone videoke or partying with friends. We could've celebrated Christmas and New Year with our families. Maybe, my father-in-law could still be alive by now. Maybe, I could have tried other things that are out of my comfort zone. We have so many plans. But COVID19 is a b*tch that gets in the way.
Also, I can't help thinking that these 2 years has been wasted. Everyone has been deprived of the time that was supposed to be productive, or something. Even worse, thousands of us have been deprived of the life that they could have been living if only COVID19 didn't happen.
Sorry if I get too sentimental on this. Recalling pre-pandemic things and our future plans somewhat makes me have a thing to look forward to. Just to keep my hopes alive. Even if it is a bit murky, I still believe that everything will get back to normal. It may not be soon, but it will.
Thanks for reading my piece of mind! I hope you're having a good day despite of everything that's happening. Until the next post! ✌
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Lead image screencapped by me while playing Ghost of Tsushima hehehe
In our country school colleges are opened but still our batch did not got any base like university yet. We are still waiting for the admission exam to get admitted into public university.