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I was just wrapping up my show here in New Orleans when I got ahold of your letter. I am currently in my dressing room sobbing my eyes out. Partly because of the success show but a large part of the tears are from the regrets and the guilt that I am currently feeling. I can't believe that I acted in such a way. With all that being said, I just want to go Back To December and undo all the things I have done and unsay the words I have said.
I just want you to know that I was devastated and I was diminished when I felt that. I thought that leaving you without saying anything will be Better than Revenge. I just want to end everything as quietly as possible but I could not resist and I was pushed to my limits, hence the letter. Now I am overwhelmed with emotions right now, from the stage, from the adrenaline, and from this letter of yours.
This takes me back to the time when we just started dating and we were really visually Enchanted with each other. We were constantly giggling around and can't take our hands and eyes off of each other. The happiness and the joy we were feeling while walking along the beach under the beautiful moonlit sky could not be hidden no matter how hard we try. It's just that magically.
But then that "misunderstanding" happened and I am not gonna lie to you, night after night, I lie on that comfortably lonesome hotel bed and could not sleep well as I am Haunted by the ghost of our past. Again, this might just be the adrenaline pumping through my veins but it has really been a rollercoaster ride for me.
You know what, If This Was a Movie, I will be looking over my shoulder and will see you on the other side of the door and I will run up to you, jump into your arms and you will lean into me and we'll end up in a passionate and screen-worthy kissing scene.
I really am apologetic with how I behaved after knowing and assuming that they are facts. I did not even doubt for a second that you and Abi were not Innocent. There's a bit of embarrassment and I am totally ashamed with how quick I was to jump the gun and into the conclusion that you were together and doing stuff behind my back.
There is now that sense of relief that I somehow feel deep within my heart. I have to tell you though, I really was hoping that the kiss we shared on that boat trip was not our Last Kiss. You know what I'm talking about, I don't want to remember that our last kiss smelled and tasted like fish-gut. Aside from not being romantic at all, there was really something fishy about that. It makes me laugh every time I remember it, but not in a good hearty way.
I'm really glad that our story hasn't ended and the Long Live the dream of ours to be together until the end. As soon as I get back from my tour, we will be checking our travel list one by one. Time is just relative and I wish to spend every moment with you. I swear though.
I'm a bit worried and really ashamed of all the Mean things I said about you and Abi. Poor Abigail, I just thought, I really thought. I really feel bad about that. I'm gonna go down to her house once I am back in town. I need to straighten things out once and for all and let her know that all the misunderstandings and the fault were really Mine.
I just hope that you would not think that I am immature and that I lived by the words that are hanging by my bedroom door, "Never Grow Up". I was just a bit carried away with all the happenings lately.
If there is a wish that I can make now is to get back together and work on what we had. I want to bring back and nurture the love that we call Ours. I want to do everything that's right and everything's that good so we can hear the bells in the end while the Sparks Fly in the sky.
There are really a lot of things that I want to Speak Now, but as the situation forbids, I have to endure to pause The Story of Us and continue everything after I get back. I am really itching to go back there but I am stuck in the road for a bit longer. I am sending you a plane ticket if you would fly to me instead, just like Superman does.
I just really wish that you are already here and that would make this day a really wonderful one and I could just say, "Today Was a Fairy Tale".
I am really enjoying making this series of letters I'm not gonna lie. I spent more time than I intended. And it's not because it's hard, not because I was so focused, but because I forgot how challenging working from home is. So many distractions and obstructions. But it's still an upside that I have my own time which turns worse because it's time that I don't know how to manage.
Anyway, I hope that you like this one too, if this does not make sense to you, maybe you need to read the first two drops of this series :