A Yes is a No

I am sitting in front of the bar enjoying my casual Friday with a margarita in my hand and the whole counter to myself. My husband was away for the weekend and I opted to go out drinking to get myself some fresh air. I planned to have just a quick night out so I didn't even invite any of my girlfriends out. I thought that I would just have a couple of drinks and tuck myself to bed watching Netflix.

As I sip from my glass a guy approached me, he clearly missed the memo that I wasn't interested in talking to anyone else besides the barkeep. Maybe he also didn't notice the ring on my finger. Although I applaud his bravery, I couldn't tolerate his ignorance of the basic of social cues.

"Uhm, hi. Can I buy you a drink?" he asked with a smile on his face.

He looked pretty decent, a little cute, but totally not my type. I wouldn't really give him the time of day even if I weren't married. I was just not interested in him. At least he was polite that he asked first before assuming anything. I am sorry but thank you.

That's what I wanted to say but as soon I opened my mouth it betrayed me, it betrayed my mind and all of me.

"Sure, why not."

Alright, where the hell did that come from? I really meant to say "NO." I wanted to say NO, but why did my mouth say otherwise? That was weird, that felt weird, I felt weird.

He sat beside me and ordered two drinks from the barkeep for both of us. Damn it Aubrey, what's gotten into you. I checked my drink and I barely even finished my first glass. I ran a quick diagnosis of myself and I ascertained that I was not even remotely close to being drunk. I was not hypnotized, was I? If I were, then this guy is top notch. He barely talked to me and he hasn't even touched me once.

We talked casually for a bit and after I finished my second drink he was looking at me all funny and a bit awkward. I know that look, I know what he's going to say, and I know that I do not like it. Do not do it man, you will just be rejected. And then he said it.

"Would you like to make out?" he asked.

WOW! I mean wow. That just came out of nowhere. We weren't even close to that subject. Where was he getting this ridiculous sense of confidence and ideas? Of course, any person with half a common sense would know the answer to that question. It's going to be a resounding NO.

"Sure."

Wait. What?

Did I just say that? Why? What on Earth is happening to me? What the fresh hell is going on? Why did I say that? Why isn't my body obeying my brain? What is wrong with me? Why are we in the backseat of his car? Why is his tongue stuck into my throat? Why are his hands feeling my chest? Why is this happening? Why can't I shout? Why am I unable to scream? Why am I unable to fend off his advances and why am I going along with it? Why did I agree with it when I clearly don't want any of it?

I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to gouge his eyes from his sockets but he wasn't really in the wrong. He asked nicely and I heard myself agreeing to everything. I wanted to go home and be with my husband, why is this happening?

He paused for a bit and looked at me. Under his breath, he asked, "Can I put it in?"

That is when everything became blurry. I don't know what happened anymore, the last thing I heard myself say was "Yes" and from the corner of my eye, I felt a tear run down my cheek, or was it his sweat? I was not sure. The next thing I knew was I was walking back home lost in thoughts and wrapped in disheveled clothes and a thick sheet of shame with trappings of guilt and a fancy accent of self-loathe.

I was out of it while walking in the dark of the night and some bystander called out to me.

"Hey sweetie, want to have some fun?"

And for what it's worth I knew that I had tried to fight it all off but then the annoying "yes" came out again.

Haloa!

How are you today? I hope that you are in good condition and all is well on your end. As close as we are to the start of a new year, I hope that you have accomplished everything that you had set out to do for this year.

If not, well then there's always the next year and we can start building on what we have started this year. Do not be discouraged and know that we will get there, just a little later than we wanted to be.

With that, let me thank you for what we have done and what we have shared this past year and I hope that we can have more years to share. And until we read again...

Cheers!!!

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Series    : Random Articles
Title     : A Yes is a No
Published : 01-Jan-2022
Author :  © RB