Where are you now? Is your condition good? I hope so.
Do you know grandma, when I see an old man, I always remember you. I remember your laughter, your crying, your preaching and then your songs. I remember you.
I can't help but be sad, because my grandmother who loves me is gone. Honestly, I still do not accept that you are gone. I just think sometimes that you are just in the province and resting and when I go home there, I can see you. I still hope you will hug and smile with me again.
When will that happen again? You know when you passed away, I also wanted to disappear, I wanted to go with you. I can't understand how I felt that day. It hurts to see your formerly energetic body hard and cold. It all seems like a bad dream. But as time goes on, it becomes even more painful and difficult to accept what happened. I can't accept it, because I love you so much.
I love you so much. I had a lot of regrets when you were still alive. I regret the times I wasted. I hope I made the most of everything. I hope I took good care of you. I hope I can tell you more forever. I hope, if I only knew that you would be lost, I hope at least for the last time, I hugged you very tightly and said I love you very much. Often, I want you to feel for me. I want to feel the caress of your hands again, I want to feel your smooth and soft skin, I want to feel that you are still here, I want us to be together.
Every time I miss you, I watch your funeral. My eyes are always swollen after watching, I can't stop the tears. Sometimes, I am suddenly stunned ... I wonder where you are or what you are doing or if you still know us. I can't get an answer, I don't know what to think. Since you left, I have lost the urge to go home to the province. I will never see you again, I will just be sad. I will no longer be entertained, I will no longer be given a welcome hug and kiss.
Grandma, wherever you are now, I hope you are happy. I just want to tell you what I did not say when you passed away. I love you so much. And I really miss you. It doesn't matter, one day, I will see you too, I will hug you and talk to you again in my dreams. But for now, I will inspire you as I walk toward you.
You are always in my heart, and will never be lost. Thank you for all the kindness, thank you for the memories. How is that? Up to here first. Will you be careful? And say hello to Grandpa.
Goodbye Grandma, I love you!
August 13, 2020 | Thursday
Your memories with Grandma will always live on. Remember her and she will always be in your mind and your heart. I miss my grandma too. I had regrets but I was also happy for the memories I had with her. Not a minute goes by that I do not think of her. I asked her in my heart too, to find my grandpa and uncles who passed on. Time will heal your tears. Take care @lethlieann. Remember that Grandma would want to see you happy, wherever she is now.