Personal Vlog:How to have a cold-blooded heart?
What a cold question lol. Can you answer this? If that is so, please feel free to comment down below. As for me, I'm a warm-blooded one. My heart is warm and can easily feel pain. But the most caring and loving one that you will surely not forget. Once I care and love you hehe.
I just wanted to experienced to have a frozen cold heart. Even just for one day. Being hard and strong like steel. Titanium lol. To be an insensitive one that doesn't feel pain. A painless person in the making but still aching lol.
One day of no crying and tears. One day of no pain and don't feel anger. One day of being frozen that doesn't care at all. One day of being free from all the hatreds and sorrows. One day of being unemotional. But that is all a dream that is hard to become true. This is just a wish that no one can ever grant.
The heart is there to give us life. And part of that life is the feelings. The feeling of heartache and happiness. The feeling of excitement and disappointment. The feeling of overwhelmed and downfall. The feeling to be loved and taken for granted. All of this will not function if you don't have a heart. But that is impossible, right? Unless you will become a vampire with a dead heart lol.
But reality and truth hurt. We all know that our feelings and emotions will be gone if we will be dead. And no one like it. Who wants to be dead? I will rather want my feelings to die but I still like to live.
I admire those strong people who manage to stand and get up after the torture. Being broken is the worst thing that will ever happen to a person. But no one wanted it. We all dream of a happy ending but sad to say all will end. Either in a beautiful way or a tragic one.
I'm jealous of those people who are happy and content with their life. Who are happily in love? Who is smiling because of contentment? Because they are loved... And I pity and sympathized with those lonely broken people because I belong to this group.
Some will say, I'm not lonely because I have my family and children. He broke my heart but he will not see me alone and unhappy. But we all know that at the end of the day. We are lonely and sad. Being loved by the one you love is the happiest feeling ever. You will always remember how you get hurt and neglected. And you will cry silently for them not to notice that might give them worries.
You are protecting the others while you are broken. You are trying your best to be alright if they are there but deep inside you are not okay at all! You're dying of loneliness and headache. But you can't complain to them! Afraid of being misunderstood. So, you would rather choose to stay calm and focus while the deep inside is you are dying.
A deep wound in the heart will take forever to heal. Even if you forgive and forget but the scar will remain fresh and it will still hurt! But I'm not like this at all. What you see in me is what you get.
If I like you, You will feel and see it in my facial expression. If I don't like you, You will notice it. Because I don't know how to pretend. If I'm happy, It's genuine. If I'm sad you will surely see me cry. If I'm angry, I will never talk to you to avoid quarrels.
That is why I wanted to have a cold-blooded heart! Because I don't want to feel all of this. But sad to say, I experienced it all. I'm not happy but I'm trying to be. I don't want my daughters to see me as a weak one. But what can I do? If I felt like crying. I will surely cry like a goat lol haha. And somehow, they are immune and used to seeing me in this kind of situation. They will just look at me and let me cry as much as I wanted. Until my tears will stop falling and dry.
So, if given a chance to have a cold-blooded heart. I will not miss this opportunity. Even for just one day...
What about you?
Thank you for being with me.
leejhen 🤍
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I am also a person with warm hearted according to your thinking. I also feel pain but not so easily. Becoming a cold blooded person is not good i think. We are human and we all have feelings and emotions. But the person who can control their emotions in a portion can be happy in their life. I think we need to love oneself first and then need to try to change which changes we want within us.