Personal Vlog: Failed Ambition "Walking down the aisle"
Oh, My third ambition in Life that I thought is easy to achieve. But still, I failed. Or let's say, It's my Fate that is already written before I was born. Written in my palm to suffer lol. To be alone and die broken. I already accepted this Fate. At least I have my kids with me. But I know, they will leave me when they have their own family. I wish their destiny and fate will be different from mine.
Who could have not wished to walk down the aisle? It's every woman's dream. But of course, with the love of our life.
When I was in high school this is my favorite topic. I even wrote that I will invite all my friends and classmates when I get married to my one great love. Happily walk down the aisle smiling while my husband-to-be is happily waiting for me. I have always had a positive mindset before. Thinking that life is that easy to endeavor.
But then again, I woke up one day that it is the most difficult thing to do especially if you're a girl. You're not the one who will propose. It's up with the guy. And the biggest factor lies within money again. How could you get married if you can't even afford your bridal gown? But it's not my problem though. It's the guy problem but we are living in the new generation now. Sharing of both partners is relevant. Sharing the burden and happiness. Hope to have that one. But nevermind!
My life turns upside down when I decided to take revenge on my opposite sex and didn't wait for the love of my life. And we can't turn back time. And I'm still thankful, although all I experienced are hardships, sacrifices, and cruelness. I'm still standing with my two feet alive.
Too bad that My Aunt Linda who wanted to sing on my wedding day is already dead. She reaches the age of 60 plus hoping to sing on my wedding day. But she died and I felt sorry for her. May she rest in peace. Maybe, if there's another lifetime and another parallel dimension. Maybe in there, she can finally see me walking down the aisle and sing for me.
But we are talking today and I felt sorry for her. Just hopeful that my kids will experience being married and walking down the aisle with the love of their life. Praying that they will be wise in making decisions in their life, especially in Marriage. Because if we failed, we cannot stop the time or go back to our past to correct the mistakes that we did.
But for me, I will never go back to my past. I make mistakes and am still thankful for that. Although I have regrets. But if I didn't do what I did in the past. I will never meet him. The one who stole my heart and make it alive. My ultimate Love...
But then again, we are not meant to be. And I wanted the best for him. And I'm not that person. I will continue to support and love him in my way. I know that I will continue to cry too. But I choose this and I'm happy being broken because of him.
I will not allow anyone again to hurt me except for him. That's how I fall in love and that's me. And I'm too old to walk down the aisle too. Although I will die broken I will make sure in a beautiful way...
Sometimes my newsfeed is full of wedding anniversary celebrations. We cannot avoid feeling jealousy. But I can manage myself. This is me and that is them. I'm unlucky in Marriage. But still hopeful that I will be lucky in the other aspects. And what could it be? Lol.
But never in my wildest dream that my life will come into this. I'm still positive about my motto. "Patience is always a virtue." I know something good will come my way. Although it's not a love life it will be good and will change my life.
My heart is tired and I will lock it again. And walking down the aisle will be forever my Failed Ambition and my greatest Dream...
How about you? If you're happy then, Congratulations.
If you're sad and broken like me. Fighting! We can do it beautifully...
leejhen 🤍🖤
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Ako naman sis ang maishashare ko masaya akong nasunod ng lumakad ako sa harap ng altar ni lord. Minsan lamang naman ito mangyari sa ating life. Sana sis makahanap kana ulit ng totoong magpapasaya sa buhay mo.