Gratitude & a sense of humor are my two weapons against a mind that wanders on its own and sometimes to some unsavory places.
It has been a challenging period in the history of human kind and the world is a lot different than it was a year and some change ago. Human beings are known to be social creatures and we have been kept in isolation away from our normal daily activities. I’ve written pretty consistently throughout my articles about the isolation and how I felt my dream life was taking the place left hollow by mandating a state/world lockdown. My dreams were vivid and real and they were also funny though and seemed to heal me from a work anxiety I had been experiencing. I’m going on a real tangent away from what this article is about but it felt like writing about all the vivid dreams I was having, especially the work related dreams, healed me and was a process to work out all the leftover gunk in my emotional response system. Okay, I think I may have went a little too far. But yes, writing about all those dreams kind of served as a detoxification system for me emotionally. Interesting.
Onto the topic for today - a personal indicator that tells me if I am edging towards a dark place is when I’ve lost my sense of humor. As the wise saying goes, there’s a time and place for it all - but when I apply humor, it immediately brings my stress and anxiety levels down. As I’ve learned in the past year and some months, there are many times this does not apply, as it is inappropriate. When grieving the passing of a loved one or having to deal with various stressors that were not anticipated - job loss, divorce, family problems and more. But if I am getting gas for my car, working, out at the grocery store, talking with others, driving or otherwise - I have to keep a sense of humor to stay balanced in my sanity. It grounds me and helps me to realize that while little things matter, they really don’t and it’s not necessary to become invested in small annoyances or distractions that rob me of my energy. In taking this philosophy, I have definitely felt a lightness to the way I live and interact with others.
For instance, living in California, you are faced with constant frustrations of driving. A driver was so pissed at me for something, she followed me and tried to get my attention until she could force a middle finger into my view. I shrugged it off and said to myself, “Well I hope you feel better now,” and went about my day.
One of my great teachers on this topic is Bill Murray. Yes, that Bill Murray. It wasn’t until I saw a documentary by Tommy Avallone, “The Bill Murray Stories: Life Lessons Learned from a Mythical Man”, that I came to see the brilliance in the attitude that he has. I’ve bookmarked this movie mentally to remind myself to watch it when I’m needing a boost of light in my outlook. I don’t want to give any spoiler alerts, but what I get from it is the message that “it just doesn’t matter.”
If you’ve never heard of a Billy Murray story, I urge you to check out this website. It will give a look into what is behind the inspiration of the documentary I mentioned above and is highly entertaining.
When looking at the crypto market lately, this statement is immensely helpful. It’s hard to look frankly. It’s that classic “car crash” scenario - do I look, keep looking or don’t look, it’s hard not to look. I want to look but it’s dreadful. To keep the phrase “it just doesn’t matter” in mind, helps to quell the screaming panic inside that wants to bail and find other investments or hobbies. It just might be that time to do so - find my other hobbies and put all my time into them, just weathering the storm and holding on.
The ultimate life tool I carry is gratitude. While my sense of humor is where I measure where my head is, gratitude helps ground my heart. I am going to reference the past year again, since it has been a trying time and a great example of how I’ve had to lean into humor and gratitude. When panic mode struck, I was left at home working and isolated. As the year progressed, the riots came, fires made the air bad (I’m in California) and minorities (which I am) faced tough times. It was really easy to cling to all the messages that were being fed to me and fear the worst. But in my gut I knew that I shouldn’t have to, because I was definitely fortunate upon fortunate. I am not the richest person, most successful, or even have a life someone would want materially. What I can say is though I would not trade my attitude of realizing how much I do have for anything. In the darkest periods, I could still say I have my job still, my health and my family. There were and are many others that could not say the same. I also realized it was important to continue my life as it was as much as possible, mostly the socializing aspect of it.
Some years ago, I started to kind of flake out on Facebook invites when they were all the rage and soon after found myself wondering where all the invites went. So I started to have a new policy of always saying yes to any functions I was invited to, if my scheduled allowed it. Now being stuck at home, Zoom invites have come my way and I try my best to make it to all of them. Honestly, I am Zoom’ed out and have to take a break at times. But it’s amazing that I have been able to meet people and make new friends over Zoom :-). Instead of being local, I’ve made friends all over the world and hope to connect with them in person. I’m definitely putting a travel fund together to plan these trips.
When I lay my head on my pillow at night, I have to always remind myself that although it was not a perfect day, I still worked for that day, am in good health and have my family in good health. Other things I am grateful for is that I have a home, bills are paid, car is paid off and food is in the refrigerator. It might not be much to some, but if I focus on these alone, it lets me realize that all my needs are met, how could I ask for more? It is the human nature to want more, but in order to maintain a positive and healthy attitude and continue putting my best self forward, these basic needs give me a wealth of standard of living that not many have in the rest of the world. For whatever reason, the universe has granted me a lifestyle that gives me peace and security. All I have to do is remember that and to see life as limited and to live it to the best and fullest potential as possible. As a sign I read in Las Vegas said, YOLO - you only live once, let’s live well, laugh and be glad that we’re here.
Human is a great anchor. It has been proven that smiling releases endorphins which help people deal with stress and reduce feelings of pain.