For almost 18 years of living in this world, I can say that change is indeed inevitable— your preference, norms, values, character, etc. might change in just a snap. These changes can be triggered by different circumstances; it might be someone or something.
I am one of those individuals who are experiencing a constant change in their selves. Sometimes, these transitions just leave me breathless and it may take me several days or even years just to realized what the h*ll just happen😆.
Even though change is scary for a few, we can't deny that this is only natural occurrence in our universe, from the theory of the Big Bang to the evolution of organisms, change is inevitable, and who are we to resist that.
Today, I will discuss if change does something good to me and other things I realized while growing up.
You don't need to pretend like somebody else.
I am somehow an attention seeker back then; I will do something or anything just to be noticed by others. I don't know why my old self is like that 😆. Maybe he's too insecure with himself and he thinks no one wants his presence so he's doing ridiculous things to gain attention. It came to a point where I am already imitating someone just to become anyone's favorite.
At first, I thought these are normal but I realized that my personality became so messed up to the point I even don't know myself.
It took me years to established myself and as expected several people left me in my journey because they feel that I changed and I am not the person they met before. I have no resentment towards them - I can't blame anyone because in the first place I am the one who pretended.
After building my character, I realized some major things about myself. First is, I am a person who's comfortable being alone. They say that I am an introvert but for me, I just like to enjoy the peaceful and quiet environment being alone offers. Second is I like astronomy and computers. I am thinking to take BS Meteorology but I didn't take the STEM strand so, it's impossible to happen. That's why I proceed to the field of computers; I will take BS Computer Science this college. And lastly, I realized that I am a quiet person. For me speaking is energy-draining so, I choose to talk less. I will just talk if I heard something important or interesting.
Focus on your improvement before entering a relationship.
I have never been into a relationship before and I don't pity myself. Being single gives you several benefits and one of them is good mental health.
I am traumatized by my friends' past relationship experiences because every time they commit, they always end up being toxic which is the majority caused by them being immature and not ready.
That's why I realized that I should focus more on myself before entering a relationship. I promised that I will be mentally and emotionally stable first before entering any responsibilities. This might take time but that's not a problem. This will not only benefit me but also my partner.
Back then, I am thirsty for a relationship and sometimes I blame myself for being single but everything changed when I met this guy during the quarantine. He makes me realized that you don't need to enter into a relationship to love someone; love has many forms. This is also the time where I realized that if we had a relationship, it will not work because we're both not ready for it. Nevertheless, this is getting too personal so let's jump to another realization hahaha
Love yourself first.
This advice is kind of cliche already as we always hear it from other people. Although we are tired of hearing it, we can't deny the importance of loving ourselves. If you don't love yourself, you're not capable to reciprocate love to other people.
Loving yourself can be express in various ways. You can start by taking care of your health like sleeping early, having a workout routine, eating healthy foods, meditating, and other things that you think are beneficial to you.
Loving yourself can also lead to genuine self-acceptance. In my case, I was insecure about my appearance; I am tall but skinny and I have a poor posture which makes me different from the rest. I keep on seeking love and acceptance from other people. I want them to compliment me saying how important I am, how good those clothes on me, how good-looking I am, lol, etc. But things don't work that way. We should start with ourselves because no one gonna love and accept us but only you. That's also one of my realizations; stop begging for people's affection and approval instead begin it with yourself.
Focus on your growth and let them leave you.
Along with your journey, it is inevitable for some people to leave you and that's okay because it is part of the process. Although it's painful, we have no choice but to move forward. Also, if they truly love you, they won't leave. Instead, they will just watch and support how you grow as a better version of yourself.
I've lost different individuals along the process. There's a time where I already doubting myself if I am doing the right thing. But thanks to those who stayed and understand me; I became confident in the path I am taking.
Let them say what they want.
People will mock you and you can't avoid it. Some of them will say bad things about you, telling you that you can't do it, you're like somebody else who doesn't succeed in life and other stuff like that. Always let them do that but never believe in them. Let them waste their time being a lowlife. We are all free after all, lol.
No matter what, continue working for your better version. In the end, you're not pleasing anyone so better don't give a fck.
Conclusion:
Change is not a bad thing after all. It's the perspective and interpretation that differs in every people. Some say that change can ruin anything or something. Some say that change is a good thing for them. However, let us don't forget to look at the bigger picture. Even though change is painful at some point, the advantage it offers can be relieving and will benefit you in the long run. In addition, who wants to stay the same forever? No growth, character development? How boring your life will be if that's the case.
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It's really hard to change, they said that I'm immature that's why I tried to change myself...I'm still on a process. One thing that I have learned is be true to yourself, do the things that you want not because they want you to do it but because you want to do it.