My Day on V-day

I stumbled upon @Yen 's article Not so good Valentines day before which made me write this article. If you haven't read it yet just click the above title. Reading hers made me remember my past experiences of celebrating Valentines day..

By the end of January I felt excited but not because I'm expecting something but I was thinking about what to sell this valentines day. Quite a different mindset from before.

I remember the younger version of me used to get excited about receiving letters from my close friends. That was when I was in grade school. My classmates already have their crush which as a kid, I feel disgusted seeing my peers flirting at that very young age. The sight looks awkward and I thought "has their parents ever knew about this?". Being attracted to someone is normal but at that very age all I want is just to offer flowers and a letter of sweet words to my teachers, friends and parents. And my classmates, at the age of 9 and 10 they already knew about having a boyfriend or girlfriend.. oohhh.. 🙄

They say high school is one of the best stages of a student's life. Well I don't really think so. Sometimes I would think that maybe I wasn't born normal. As I grew older I started to understand these things. I see my friends getting too excited and prepare as early as February 1st on what to do on valentines day. I only participated in filling the classroom with heart decorations.

Valentines Day school activities

During my first year in high school I started to get exposed and involved in different school activities.

The Love Mailbox

My section had agreed to put up a mailbox starting February 1st on our classroom door. This is where students can leave a letter to someone from our class. Everyday, one would receive a letter from an admirer or a friend. This box is open to anyone from the campus. Within the whole month of February that year, I was able to get three letters written on a red heart shaped paper. Two from friends and one from a mystery guy.

It was actually fun and exciting activity 'coz you will be able to read letters from different people. Some would just leave a mystery on their letters by not writing their real names on it. And the crowd would just giggle and scream out of excitement. You'll find yourself worthy somehow by receiving letters from different people. You will feel appreciated, right? Since then we practiced putting up a Love Mailbox every year. Isn't it fun? Did I gave you a nice idea for this coming Valentines day? I kept all those letters from 1st to 4th year in a heart shaped plastic container and it was all washed away by the flood. 'Coz ya' know, my parents didn't care about my stuff so they didn't have the guts to keep all my photo albums and portfolios. Everything in my room was damaged by the flood.

Kissing Booth

One of the most common booth during valentines day. For some, they would have their class "prince charming" and "muse" to stand on the booth. Boys and girls has to answer trivia questions about the class section. Whoever gets a correct answer gets a kiss on the cheeks from the prince charming for girls the muse for the boys.

We are a section of conservative students so we bought a kiss mark stamp for our booth. 😁

Marriage Booth

Marriage booth is where you find a fake priest, and fake police officers.😂 Haha! You will hire two men to handcuff, blindfold and bring the person you wanted to marry as you wait in the booth with the priest. You will then be married to this person where he/she could choose to either take away the blindfold before or after the ceremony.

At some point, there are unsuccessful marriage booth ceremonies leaving the requesting person heartbroken and poorer by Php 20 pesos. 😜 Lol! Anyway, it's all just for fun. Some would just laugh over it but some will seriously get heartbroken. But some end up becoming real couples, too.

Party

Every classroom is allowed to have a little party. Cocktails and light beers can be served under the supervision of an adult (only for those sections allowed by their teacher). Also, these drinks are limited since we are minors. Each classroom has different activities like sharing love stories in front of the class, self made poems dedicated to their loved ones. Singing sessions. Valentines day is like a whole day ice breaker for everyone. We are allowed to have fun after completing an academic task in connection to this occasion.

What's my role during Valentines day?

While everybody's having fun and all, I participate as facilitator in those activities mentioned. Sometimes, I act as the mailman who distributes the letters to my classmates. Most of the time, I stay inside the classroom, sit on my desk and write stories. I even experienced getting paid (with snacks) by writing a poem for someone's crush.

Sometimes I just listen to music, or jam with my classmates. Or draw anything that is inspired by Valentines day.

When it's valentines day, it's considered as a holiday so our classes were dismissed early. But we don't actually go straight home. Instead, we use this free time to hang out with friends, so, mostly I get to become the third wheel. Sometimes my friends would hang out at my place since my aunt is cool and they can do whatever they want in my room. Of course I should never leave couples alone in there. Besides we come as a group and it's my place so I should be with them at all times. I'm the only one who doesn't have a partner 😝.

Even if you find me boring based on how I describe it. There are still excitements. Though, I don't expect too much from the person I like but I also received stalks of flowers from an anonymous person. I got love letters which made me feel really special and how I wished I have fallen for him instead of the one I really liked that time. I eventually found out who it was as he confessed to me and in the presence of my bestfriend.

He had that sweet smile, he's one of the most quiet, kind type of guy inside the classroom. I find him cute and a true gentleman. I rejected him on the spot with a joke. Which I regretted later on, coz even if it's a joke, it still hurts. He just smiled which made me hate myself because he just said "it's okay, I understand you don't like me". Because he knows and because I told him about that person! 🤦‍♀️ He's been hiding his feelings for me knowing that I liked the other guy next door. And because we are so close to each other that I confessed to him my feelings for that guy..

That was during my 1st year in high school. 2nd and 3rd years we're still good friends and he still gives me letters. There's a part of me that wanted to give in but I have a friend who is also in love with him secretly. So I stick to my fantasy guy. 🤪

2nd year, my crush already knew about my feelings for him. Some people around us made our situation complicated. I have never expressed my feelings to anyone and I kept it for myself until there's one guy who caught me sketching him in a piece of paper. He exposed me and everyone in the neighborhood knew about it. I felt really ashamed as he took the sketch and showed it to the guy's family. We were neighbors, and at that very moment, I felt doomed!

Anyway, didn't really expect much from him knowing that I'm not his type. Unexpectedly, he sent me a stalk of flower on the next valentines day. I was happy but I believe it's just a friendly gift. We became good friends in third year. In fact we had great bonding moments in our CAT (Citizens Advancement Training) class.

When I finally got a boyfriend on the last year of my high school, I didn't feel or saw any changes on my valentines. I thought maybe those valentine love stories only happens in movies and novels.

During my 2nd year college, my boyfriend gave me a bouquet of roses but he was kind of dry, I mean he didn't even say anything and just gave the flowers. I wasn't really used to this kind of gestures so I was kinda shocked but at the end of the day our friends and I went out for a drink without his presence. Most of them are boys and I celebrated with them. We were like brothers and sisters so after that they sent me home to make sure I arrive home safe.

Weird right? Those were his friends from high school and they became my best buddies in college. They were the ones taking care of me when my boyfriend isn't there for me. Every year these guys completed my Valentines day. They had girlfriends and they come to me whenever they need gift ideas. After that they would take me out whether for a short walk or a drinking session. I felt safe in their company.

The last Valentines day I had with my boyfriend, he gave me two very small stuffed teddies. It has a small heart shaped pillow in the center with an"i love you" written on it. But I don't know why I feel disinterested with it. When I got home I stared at it for a while. It looks old, maybe he recycled it or something. It smells old, too. 🤔.. One thing that came up to me is that I'm not that special to him. I know he can do better than this and he can afford if he really wanted to give me something that will make me smile. Not that I didn't appreciate it but an old stuffed toy.. Really?! 🙄 He could atleast give me a freshly picked flower from his mom's garden. It would surely make me happy. The way he's giving me gifts is like as if he only felt obligated to do so because I was his girlfriend. It's like for compliance purposes, which means it's not heartily given.

How would you feel if you receive an old stuffed toy knowing that he can afford to buy you an new one? I was so confused, it felt like an insult. I mean, it's as if he's making me realize that's just my value to him - cheap! but I kept the mini teddies and was grateful to have received a gift from him.

The next month we broke up when I found out he was cheating on me. He thought I would never find out because I was a noob in social media before. He thought I was dumb not knowing I was stalking on his account when I sensed something isn't right anymore.

That's the time I never cared about valentines anymore. Besides I have grown enough. It isn't really something special. Valentines day is a celebration of love, that's just it. Nothing exciting.

So when I met another guy, I never talk or mention about valentines. But this guy is the sweetest. He makes a lot of effort even if he has nothing much to offer. Even with the smallest things he can find, he would always think of me. The funniest valentine memory was the time when he surprised me with one big stalk of flower. When he handed it to me I felt something hard inside the wrapper and when I checked inside, there's a piece of chocolate. 😍

Guess what, the chocolate looks like it has been cut. There's no wrapper, he only put it inside a plastic bag. 😂.. But he apologized. It was a big piece actually, but he felt ashamed of it. He said it was from his aunt. They cut it into four because his cousins also asked for a share to give to their girlfriends.. Then I imagined how could their girlfriends have reacted to this. 😅

Anyway, I have had sweet funny memories with this guy. One was when he brought me a very cute cake. It looks like an ocean themed cake. I know he could not afford for a cake yet. He was still a student that's why I never ex0ect anything from him. When I asked him where he got it. He said his aunt made it for his cousin's 18th birthday. He took one after the party and his cousins did the same just like how they asked for the chocolate for their girlfriends 😂.

Whenever he gets a share from his aunts package, he would come to my house with a bag full of chocolates. He always makes me feel special.

When we got married he never stopped doing this and every valentines day, he won't buy me flowers, instead he exchanges his coin collection (he collects coins and save them for emergencies and dinner dates with me 🤣) with paper bills so he could treat me to dinner. 😁

Every valentines day, I sell cakes and other baked goods to my friends and relatives and use some of my earnings for a little celebration with the family. Some of it will be saved to buy groceries and milk.

So I think my Vday's are not that bad 🥰.