Isa Na Namang Wave of Heartbreak

Hindi ito love story.. I'm not in the mood to write kahit ang dami pang ideas, ang dami ko pang kinocompose inside my mind. May na plot na nga ako eh..

Pero pa'no ba magfocus? Paano ka ba makakapagsulat ng maayos kung ang dami mong ginagawa at gagawin pa?

I am writing this right now, not in full English kasi gusto kong maging malaya sa nararamdaman ko. I'm not suppose to write this pero ang bigat lang kasi.

I was just reading articles. Kailangan kong bumawi dahil hindi naman ako everyday nandito.. Gusto ko lang naman magbasa at mag interact.

But my messenger kept on poppin' in my screen. First one was the adorable photo of my niece. Napakagandang bata. Parang ang layo sa hitsura nya nung sinubukan syang isalba kasama ng nanay nya (my sister).

Memories suddenly flashed back then I ended up looking at our last photo together. Nakakapanghinayang..looking at her daughter, syang sya ang nakikita ko. From her eyebrows to her dimples, parang naging baby lang ulit si ate. Para syang nag reincarnate.

Ang masakit lang isipin ay wala na sya. Hindi na nya makikita ang maganda niyang anak na mana sa kanya. Her plans faded like ashes. Yung gusto niyang makipag twinning sa dress nila ni baby. Gusto niya maglandtrip papunta sana sa lugar namin kasama pamilya niya. Ang dami niyang plano. Gusto niya kami makita.. Ang dami niyang gustong gawin but she's gone too soon. Ang sakit! Di ko pa rin matanggap. 😭😭😭😭.

Kaninang umaga pa ako wala talagang gana coz I was thinking of my sister all day. I missed her so badly.

Tonight naman, while I'm trying to check on my SocMed account, a shared photo popped up. My highschool friend perished this morning. I was shocked to see someone so close to me being posted and adressed with "RIP". . Ang sakit lang 🥺🥺🥺.. She is like a sister to me.

I suddenly remember her son who was only 10 or 11 years old. Hindi pa nga niya nakakasama ng maayos dahil she's working in a distant place. Kawawa yung bata... Wala na syang chance makapiling ng buo ang nanay nya..

Ang sakit kasi we were together since 1st year highschool. We also keep each other company tapos ang bata bata pa namin pero ito mababalitaan ko. Yung antok ko nawala nung makita ko picture nya. Ang sikip ng dibdib ko. Ang hirap tanggapin...

Ang sakit sakit sa puso 😭😭😭