Fifi, My Little Angel

And God said, "I will send them without wings, so no one suspects they are ANGELS."

"If it weren't for her I ended up crazy for years now."

Fifi was born on the year 2012. We weren't expecting her because we didn't have any idea that our Yanyan (Pomeranian) was pregnant at that time. We didn't know our Doby (Chihuahua named after Harry Potter's Doby) sneaked into her cage and did his naughty plan.

We were just watching TV and we suddenly heard a squeaky noise coming from Yanyan's cage. We thought it was just a mice so we ignored it that night. The following morning we keep on hearing the squeaky sound. It became louder and longer, like a cry of a small animal of some kind. So, out of curiosity I finally checked it and to my surprise, I saw this tiny foot appeared under Yanyan's tail. And at that moment I am pretty sure that it's a puppy. I was so happy! WE ARE SO HAPPY. And we decided to call her Sophie/Fifi.

She was very tiny, the size of a palm. And those pink little paws and cute little nose.

It was love at first sight.

We decided to take Fifi away from Yanyan when she's already two months old because every time she gets excited she always accidentally stumps on Fifi. Fifi was still so small at that time and we're afraid that she'll get hurt and worst, die.

So as time passes by, she's becoming this very cute little Pomchi that always follows me wherever I go. She can't even sleep on her own, she always prefers to sleep in my bed with me on it. Sing her a lullaby while rocking her will put her to sleep instantly but every time I stand up to pee or drink water, she'll wake up and follow me around.

Fifi was a spoiled little brat. She's the boss of the house that even her mom and dad didn't try to go near her. I don't blame her though. She gets everything she wants ever since she was a puppy. All of our attention was on her. Not until Katniss came.

Katniss (Siamese Cat) was my brother's cat. He took her home one day and from that moment on, Sophie knew that Katniss will take the spotlight from her.

And she was right. She was threatened by Katniss and lost her crown as the Boss Man of the house.

They always fight. Bite here, a scratch there. That was their daily routine. But at the end of the day, they always find each other sleeping together in the same bed. I guess they found comfort and warmth in each other's side.

Fifi was so afraid of Katniss that she lets her eat her food first before she eats it, she even lets her sleep on our bed with us. Which by the way she never allow with her parents. She doesn't allow anyone goes near our bed even my brother and sisters. But she allowed Katniss without a second thought.

But even Katniss got her throne as the new Queen of the house. She will always be my little princess, my little angel.

Whenever I feel down or just tired she's always there to comfort me. I'm not the kind of person who tells people around me my problems because they always see me as a strong person and I want to stay that way even if it's not true. I'm not strong, I get scared too. So, when there are times that I feel all alone and scared. There she is. My little Sophie just staring at me like she's telling me that everything's going to be just fine and she'd always be there everytime I feel like giving up. If it weren't for her I ended up crazy for years now. If it weren't for her maybe I am not the person I am now. She saved me from losing myself. She saved me from ME. Just being there beside me makes everything better. Just looking at me with her little big eyes tells me everything will be alright, just by touching me with her cute little feet tells me that she's always been there by my side, just by booping me with her cute little nose tells me that I can get through it every day and every night, and by kissing me with that cute little mouth of hers, tells me tomorrow's day will be bright. She was my very bestfriend.

Yes, "was". Sophie crossed the rainbow bridge in May 2020 and I didn't get to say goodbye at the time because of the pandemic. Days before she passed away, my brother called me and said that Fifi won't live any longer. She doesn't eat nor walk anymore. So, I decided to call her via video call. I was trying so hard not to cry seeing her like that. She was just looking at the screen while I'm talking to her. Seeing her suffer like that makes my heart break into tiny little pieces and leaking love juice all over the place. That's when I decided to end the call. I can't see her like that.

The day after the call, my brother told me that Fifi suddenly walks and eats again but little did we know it is the last time she'll do those things. The night before she passed away, I talked to her in my mind telling her that she doesn't have to wait for me to come back and see her, that if she's in so much pain, she can cross the rainbow bridge already and that I'm going to be okay with her leaving because I know that she'll watch over me from heaven.

The morning after that, I received a message from my brother telling me that Fifi passed away peacefully. He told me that she died in her sleep without feeling any pain. Hopefully..

I cried so hard because I lost my bestfriend. The only one who has been there for me, the one who loved me unconditionally and never left my side through good and bad. I felt like I lost a part of my life when I lost Sophie. If I could just turn back time, I'll choose to be by her side and not left.

I am so sorry my little Sophie for not being there with you on your worst days. You know I am. I am sorry for not giving you the best hugs and kisses for you to bring when you crossed that rainbow bridge. Thank you for being there for me when no one else does. Thank you for being my savior through my darkest of times. I love you, Sophie. I do. I just hope that you'll continue watching over me wherever you are, a place when there's no more pain and you'll have the tastiest treats and fun toys you can have because I know how much you love those things. I love you so much, my little angel. I will never forget you.