Self Boundaries Matter
Article #63 April 29, 2022
Do you have self-limitations that you follow at all times? I've been feeling like they're exploiting my compassion lately, and I'm losing my temper, but I keep my flair and remain silent. If I speak up, the conflicts would undoubtedly extend and worsen the situation. I told my friend about my situation and what was upsetting me, which is what I said before. She advised me to limit my generosity to them and to set limits with them. Boundaries are described as the constraints we create for ourselves in various aspects of life such as work, relationships, and, of course, family. When it comes to personal limits, there is no exception in any part of life. Setting boundaries is similar to preventing ourselves from things that cause us discomfort and when we feel as if we are being abused by our generosity toward someone.
There are several sorts of boundaries that must be established, including physical, emotional, intellectual, and material boundaries, among others. It is not a terrible thing or being selfish; you are only protecting yourself from any unpleasant things surrounding you. It is difficult to make limits when you grew up in a household that did not respect your privacy or even your existence; it is difficult to get rid of it, but it is not impossible, so you can still construct your boundaries and start slowly. It should also be highlighted that you should set your limits in a constructive manner; do not use this as an excuse to hurt or insult others' thoughts or beliefs. Setting boundaries is just for you, not for others, so choose wisely.
I searched how to create boundaries on the net and compiled a list of some of them that you might be able to connect to. I do this for myself as well, so I know what my boundaries are with other people. I know I won't be able to do everything, but I'm confident I'll be assertive and attempt to practice those things.
It's okay to say No
Saying No is just as vital as saying Yes, so why are people having difficulty accepting the answer when it is a No? Is it difficult to realize that not everyone thinks the same way you do, or that not everyone wants to do what you want? Saying No is okay, and you should continue to reject things if accepting them causes you distress.
I have the right to stop exhausting talks.
If things do not turn out the way you expect and she or he continues to make negative toxic arguments, simply quit the conversation. You should be aware of your limitations while disputing with people, even if they are friends, partners, or relatives. You may end the discussion nicely without hurting their feelings since they are a part of your lives.
No one is required to agree with me.
I don't agree with everyone, so why should I expect everyone to agree with me? I am not as competent as others, and my statements are not always as powerful or as coherent as others', thus it is okay to disagree. I'll give you an example: I support same-sex couples but not same-sex marriages. I'm sure some will agree, but others may not, and that's fine.
Nobody, no matter who they are, has the right to verbally abuse me.
Abusing in any way is a sin, thus abusing me physically or verbally is a sin. Nobody, no matter who they are, has the right to verbally insult me. I did not go this far to tolerate insults and cruel comments from others, regardless of who they are. You can't use my prior self to undermine who I am today, and it's a type of verbal abuse, believing that I placed myself in that circumstance.
It is okay if others become angry.
This one is difficult for me to attain since I get so upset when someone is angry at me. I feel irritated when my partner is angry with me, especially. I feel like they have no right to be angry, yet this is incorrect. I shouldn't be like that; this is what I'm working on right now. It is not a good thing to be unjust to anyone, just as it is not appropriate to be angry with them but not okay for them to be upset with you. That is unfair.
It's not my obligation to save others from their drama.
We all have difficulties and different dramas in our lives, thus it is not my concern if it is your problem. Because it is yours, you must be the one to mend it. I've had a lot of drama in my life, and it's sort of absurd that I'll be the one to save others. Haha.
People have the freedom to disagree with me, but they do not have the right to treat me disrespectfully.
This is similar to what I mentioned earlier in that not everyone needs to agree with me. People have the right to disagree with me, and there is nothing wrong with that; however, we will have a major problem if you disrespect me. If you don't like me, it doesn't imply you'll insult me based on my looks or how I behave as a person. You don't own me, thus you have no excuse to mistreat me as well. That simple.
Author's Note
That's all, folks. I hope this has taught you something. I'm also hoping you'll set your own boundaries. Don't allow anyone's words or actions destroy your standards or your life. Because no one is above the law, we are all equal and will continue to live as such. Thank you for taking the time to read this! I wish you health and happiness in life.
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Lead image and other image were mine that I edit on Canva.
It's okay to say No. Di naman lahat ng panahon eh okay ka lang ng okay kasi kadalasan naabuso tayo nun. We are entitled to our own opinion pero it doesn't mean eh ididisrepect na natin ang ibang tao. Mgkaiba man tayo ng beliefs ang importante we still respect each other's opinion