How To Identify If I Deserve It?

Have you ever asked yourself the question Do I deserve this?

That question has both positive and negative meanings:

• Do I deserve this? UwU - where you feel like you don't deserve the good things that have been happening to your life;

  and then there's

• Do I deserve this? - where you feel like you're carrying all the problems in the world

Yesterday, when I was about to end my shift at work, a message popped up. It's from a friend who's really into music. She's one of my high school friends. We used to bring our guitars to school just to have jamming sessions during break time. We also used to go to private studios to play music. Ahh, those days!

We've been talking about the Heads in the Clouds Manila Music and Arts Festival. It's the 88rising event that will be held on December 9 and 10, showcasing a lot of artists like Niki, Joji, BIBI, Ylona Garcia, Rich Brian, EaJ, YOASOBI, and a lot more!

Last August, we already talked about whether to buy the tickets already or to wait for further announcements. HITC disclosed the price of the tickets even without the lineup, last August.

If we availed the ticket last August, even without knowing the lineup, we could've saved Php 3000 for the VIP pass. Then again, we're not sure whether our bet, like Niki, is in the lineup. We thought there was still a possibility for Niki to have her own solo concert here in Manila. We decided to put it aside for a month.

Came October, HITC released the official line up and now we regret not buying earlier. VIP now costs Php 15,888.

My friend and I were still undecided, about whether to push through or not because, to be honest, we don't know if we deserve to attend HITC 😂

How do we even distinguish if we deserve something?

We often use the terms deserve ko 'to / deserve mo 'yan but then again, do we really deserve it?

Perhaps life isn't about us, humans, deserving of things or not. For me, it's just a justification. When we find reasons to have something, then we say we deserve it. When we find reasons not to have something, then we say we don't deserve it.

It's all about how deeply we understand our desires toward something. Just like what Paolo Coelho said in one of his books, All that you are seeking is seeking you.

Now, do I deserve to attend HITC? I'd say yes because I have my reasons and I really love to go. I'm still undecided whether to go for the VIP or if Gen Ad is already enough.

Anyway, have you uttered I deserve it recently?
What is it?
Let me know!

October 7, 2022