The True Meaning of Loss

This story is taken from my personal story, let's call my name Ita. I am the third of six children. 3 boys and 3 girls. I live in a very simple family. This story tells about a man who is very meaningful in my life, namely my father.

My father was a humorous man, didn't talk much, but his presence was always uplifting. There is no day without dad's jokes, jokes, and laughs. There were things my father did to make all of us at home laugh happily with his actions so that the atmosphere at home wasn't boring.

But one day my world was destroyed, my father who was in good health had fallen ill. The pain that the doctor convicted was not just an ordinary pain, but a pain that destroyed our feelings. We must feel sad as a family. Father was sentenced to have a brain tumor. Yes, a disease that everyone knows for sure. A disease that can be said to be deadly. My world is broken and dark. I feel like screaming why did it happen to father? why must father? our family never expected this to happen, never imagined it. All in disbelief and shock. But again we know this is God will. Anything can happen if Allah wills.

At that time I was 7 months pregnant, just a week ago my father took me and was accompanied by my brothers and sisters to shop for baby supplies. Then I got news from my mother about her father's unusual behavior. But I made sure that maybe it was just a joke from my father, there was no way that he didn't know the way home and there was no way he didn't know where the plate was. But prejudice is wrong, to be precise on Saturday when I was there with my husband, my father was very weak and helpless. not like the usual father. Father at that time was very drop. The results of the blood test stated that my father was fine. But why are you like this? I said that

Around 1:00 p.m. my father had to be rushed to the hospital, my father could no longer stand up, my father vomited. The doctor's first verdict stated that the father had a minor stroke. But after being rushed to the hospital, my father went straight to the ICU for 2 days unconscious. My heart is broken again, so very broken. Tears kept coming out. But we as a family believe that my father will recover. My father was strong against his illness.

I never thought this would happen. Before my father got sick, I was very happy I told my father and my mother that the ultrasound results of my daughter were a girl. Father's first granddaughter. I already imagined how happy it would be when my child was born. Father must be very affectionate and caring because his basic father is someone who loves children and can still play with his grandchildren. But my mind is shattered, it all could not have happened when father was like this.

We believe you can recover, you can be strong, you can fight this illness. This hope is not just empty hope, because doctors and nurses also say that my father is a patient who wants to be healthy, by showing the progress he has made. We are also happy to hear this good news. But this is only our momentary pleasure. The doctor advised the father to have surgery. Finally, our family agreed with the doctor's suggestion.

Friday, April 5, my father was scheduled to operate at 19.00 WIB. And what broke my heart and mind, on that very day I gave birth. How did it feel like my heart at that time could not be expressed, all the plans about after birth changed? yes, it should have been when I was born with my parents at home as previously planned, but everything changed instantly. My feelings were destroyed at that time. Not only because all plans were canceled, but because of the circumstances I was going through at a time like this. Where I gave birth, my father was fighting for his life.

Alhamdulillah, I got good news, my father's operation went well. All the information I got from my brother who always looks after my father there. I feel a little relieved. Especially after the operation, I got the news of my father's progress. even father can go home and already know us a little bit one by one.

Every day I always asked for my father's progress, even when he was home, I could finally see him, even if only from a Vidio call. There my father is looking better, my heart is very happy even though you still remember me vaguely, and to talk, you can't talk much.

A month after my father's surgery came back down, my father could not eat, speak, and even move his body. I was very worried, I wanted to meet daddy, I cried all day so I could go home to see a dad with my son. Finally, I managed to meet dad, it was the first time dad saw his grandson, as well as my son the first time seeing his grandfather in person. My heart is happy and touched by this incident. The next day I returned to the rented house, when I came home, I seemed to understand the meaning of the father's movement, father understood when I came home, I greeted my father and son too. My father was unable to move at that time and my father just sat in a wheelchair with a blank look. Sad to see father like that and have to leave daddy.

Two months after the surgery my father finally left us for good. 1 Shawwal at 16.30 my father breathed his last. I tried to be sincere and strong to accept this. But no matter how strong it is, when I have to see my father in the shroud and lifted to pray to the mosque and leave this house for good. I was crushed, my tears fell, my tears were sobbing. I'm not strong, I don't want this to happen this fast.

My days are dark, devastated after my father's departure. Even now, I never thought my father would leave us so soon. No more jokes and laughter from my father at home. I can see no more father's smile. But either way, dad won't be able to come back.

From this story, I know what true loss is like. For that, the message that can be taken from this story KEEP THERE, TAKE CARE while you can