Heavy feelings...

My eyes are puff as of the moment of writing this one. I just finished crying my heart out without any valid reason and I've been like this for almost 4 months now. It all started last December of 2021. I just felt my heart being so heavy that sometimes it made me hard to breathe.

I remember one time when I was at work at the bakery, I suddenly burst into tears and it continued for an hour or two. My tears won't stop from falling and my partner got worried about me. He asked me what's wrong but I just answered him that I don't know. He didn't stopped from asking me because he thinks that I regretted being with him. I cried in his arms and he was just there hugging me and from time to time he would asked me again and my answers are still the same " I don't know". His t-shirt got wet because of me but he didn't mind at all.

The next day after that, it happened again. And just like what happened before, I still don't know why.

I took a bath early to freshen up and after getting dressed, I felt my heart getting heavy again and I can hardly breathe. I told my partner about it and he's worried but I told him that I can handle it and I don't know why I suddenly felt that way though I already have an idea why. When I went downstairs I told our ate Ellen about it and she asked me if I'm that kind of person who likes to hide my feelings and I answered her "yes". She told me to just cry it out and to not hide my feelings anymore. If I feel hurt or disappointed I must let it out because it's not good hiding such feelings.

It was around 9 P.M. when I can't take it anymore. My partner kissed my cheek non-stop and he said "I love you" and upon hearing it that's when I burst into tears again. He wasn't able to see my tears because the lights was off and he exited the room to take his dinner. I silently cried in our room and when he came back he turned the lights back on and that's when he sees my eyes. He already knows what my eyes would look like after crying so he immediately noticed it. He asked me a lot of questions like "Are you okay?", "What's the problem", "Is something wrong?", etc., and I just answered him "Nothing". He knows me very well and that I don't like being bothered when I'm in that state so he just kissed me again and whispered "I love you". He remained beside me up until now.

I became so curious as to why so I searched the Google about what pregnant women would sometimes feel and I found out that some pregnant women experienced the same thing that I did. So I presume that this incidents of mine were just because of my pregnancy.

I will end my entry now because I'm already sleepy and I'll be visiting my OB tomorrow for my monthly check up and hopefully my baby is healthy.