He Left Me Hanging (The Continuation)

"Distance is not an issue because in the end, I have you."

But how can I still have him if in the end he is nowhere to find? If in the end I am left befind?

(For those who's reading this who did not read the first part, better read He Left Me Hanging first in order for you to understand the flow of the story. Thanks!)

January 02, 2021

As I promised to my self that I will start this year 2021 with full of adventures, I chose to spend this day to hike with Vince. And eventually he agreed to join. And since the mountain that I am planning to hike is just near to my friend's house, we decided to invite her too together with her boyfriend. And I am just so happy that time because it is actually the very first time that Vince and I will meet personally.

But before we went to my friend's house, Vince and I decided to go to church first. Since he is a rider and he has his own motorcycle, it was just easy for us to go wherever we want. We just offered a prayer there and took some photos as the view there is breathtakingly beautiful.

Also, I remember vividly how Vince jokingly said:

"Nakikita mo yang altar na yan babe? Diyan kita ihaharap sa tamang panahon."

With that, we both laugh. Of course, it is just too early for us to think that way. But honestly, Vince doesn't know how happy I am with what he said. He doesn't know how the butterflies in my stomach reacted.

When we arrived at my friend's house, we just ate late lunch because it was almost 2 in the afternoon already. I also remember my friend mocking Vince that time.

"Ikaw ah, love mo talaga si 'tine. Kahit malayo siya, pinuntahan mo ah. Aruy."

That was exactly what @charmingcherry08 said. And I cannot lie, of course I'm kilig! I'm happy.

At exactly 4 in the afternoon, we decided to climb already. And when Vince started to hold my hand and guide me? I knew, at that very moment, I found the one that will hold my hand forever. The one that will walk with me in my every adventures.

So yeah, it's the sweet strawberry again, Vince.

January 17, 2021

We are happy. We love each other. And as our relationship was sailing smoothly, I never thought that a simple misunderstanding will end everything. I never thought that happiness is indeed temporary. That what I only watched in movie can really happen in real life.

We had a misunserstanding. We argued. And eventually, we distance ourselves to each other. I gave him space. I did not talk to him for a while thinking that it's for the best. To give him some time to calm and think. And I am holding to my hope that we can still work this out. That it is just a simple misunderstanding. Nothing to worry that much.

I tried to save our relationship. Given that he was always the one saving us when misunderstanding comes our way in the past. Yeah, I know it sounds unfair but I am not used to saying sorry and pleasing someone especially when I know to my self that I am not the one who did something wrong. So I thought that maybe this time, I should be the one fixing it. That maybe he got tired of pleasing me that's why I should be the 'one' this time. So I tried so hard to save 'us'. God knows how hard I tried.

UNTIL...

January 21, 2021

OUR END GAME.

Maybe one of the most difficult thing you can ever experience to long distance relationship is miscommunication and misunderstanding.

I messaged him. I asked him. I beg. To the point that I am already asking him to just tell me if he wants to end our relationship already in order for me to be enlightened. Because I am almost losing my sanity that time. I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea if he's still willing to fix us. But still, he has no reply AT ALL. No explanation. He left me with nothing. HE LEFT ME HANGING.

I lose my hope. I got tired. I'm fed up. I got tired of fighting for our relationship. Of course who wouldn't get tired if you are the only one who's fighting. If from the very beginning you can see that it is already your end game.

I pity myself. I pity my self for thinking that it can be fixed. For thinking I can still save our relationship. I pity my self for being left behind. I pity my self to the point that I almost questioned my worth.

I am drowning with overflowing sadness that time. I am badly hurt. How can he left me like that? I didn't even get the closure that I deserved. I didn't even received the word 'sorry'. Or kahit thank you na lang sana, sa memories, ganon. But no, nothing.

Maybe my friend was right. I'm in so much pain because this time, I am the one who fight for us. Who tried to fix 'us'. And I got nothing in return. I am completely left behind.

But in some point, I know I was hurt because I loved him too much. Too much to the point that I almost forgot to save for my self.

But you know what? I am still thankful to Vince. I am thankful to what had happened to us. Because he made me realize that I am more than just ME. That there is something way better waiting for me which I know God had planned. I learned to love my self more. And I found my self.

So yeah, it's Vince, a sour and not so good strawberry. And he is not mine anymore.

*************the end************

To tell you honetly guys, what happened to Vince and I is a blessing in disguise. It molded me to become a better person. I learned to be happy alone. To be happy with just by my self. It taught me to appreciate my self in a deeper level. And most especially, that breakup (eventhough you cannot call it a breakup at all) lead me here. It was mainly the reason why I am here. Why you are reading this article now. And I think its indeed a blessing.

Now, if you will ask me, what do I think about Long Distance relationship? It is definitely not for the people who doesn't know how to value trust. Not for the people who has no patience. Definitely not for me and not for Vince.

Thank you ate @Ruffa and ate @Firenze for pushing me and giving me an idea to share my story here. I hope you guys will love and appreciate it.

And if you want to know the story why I ended up here, feel free to read read.cash & noise.cash: A Blessing in Disguise.