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We all have the face we show to the outside world on the one hand, and our true identity as we know it, on the other. We may see ourselves as fun, happy, active, but the person we project around us may be a quiet, unhappy person or vice versa. The less the difference between us inside and what we see outside, the more balanced and peaceful life we will have. Because hiding ourselves is a tiring process that requires extra effort. Even if we are not aware of it.
I did not know yet that the eczema problem on my hands was intense and the time I started treatment would enable me to reach this awareness. Since it coincided with the beginning of the pandemic, it was a time when video calls were made intensively, both in business meetings and in family and friend communications. At that time, it was challenging me physically and emotionally because my hands were red and crusted, similar to a burn. If my hand somehow went to my face in video calls, I was careful to move so that my palm was visible on the camera instead of the top of my hand. My aim was not to see the other party, to focus on my hand while another subject was being discussed, and not to get distracted, and not to make people feel sorry for me.
When I realized that I needed to find a solution to this situation, I started talking with my hands on the advice of a dear friend! Yes, you heard right, or no, I'm not crazy yet. Thank goodness everything is fine… Joking aside, my purpose in talking to them was actually to accept them, not as a part of me to hide, but as parts of my body that tried to tell me something, that formed me. Because there were things that went wrong inside, and there was no way I could overlook it now.
How to talk to your body, the problem in your skin?
First, I would start by saying "Welcome" to them. My purpose in saying this was to explain to myself that they are temporary and guests. And I had some questions on my hands:
-Why are you here?
–What did you come to guide me about?
–What am I supposed to understand here?
– If I change anything one day, I will understand your message?
Every morning, I would ask them these questions, and after the questions, I would wait silently and listen to the answers that emerged within me. At first I didn't get an answer from them, but I continued to chat. They were obviously a little offended, they had something to tell me for many years and I hadn't heard them even though they tried many times. Before I could hear, they had to raise their voices. They weren't happy with this situation, but what could they do? They were trying to make me feel good. And they finally realized that I heard them and responded. When they realized my good intentions, their resentment eased and they started to talk.
It turns out that what they wanted to tell me for many years was that I was hiding myself. Even though they were a part of me, I had even hidden them on camera! Even though I tried to hide myself, look, somehow they were visible. They also needed to be seen, to find expression.