No:26

July 09,2022

It was a Sunny Saturday huh? I was able to dry up all my laundry from yesterday and that was an awesome feeling for us mom, lol! Seeing the laundry basket empty even for just a while make me smile as bright as the sun.

Want to say thank you first to my daughter for the sketch above of the Two Queens.

As hot as the Sun is an issue i want to talk more about. I came accross @Lhes article , " Couldn't have Two Queens in One Castle" check it out i think it's fun to share your insights too. It is an issue most Filipino families are commonly dealing with because of Filipino strong family ties. It is normal in country to live with an extended family.

Unlike in some parts of the world wherein at the age of 18 ,it is legal and common to live on your own. In our country , well , nowadays some are allowed to live independently at a young age but still it is most common to stay or live with your parents as long as you want to. Even... when you already have your own family.

Now that we are on Millenial stage , there are still families that allows their children to live with them even if they have a family of their own . There are lot of factors or reasons why though , and there is nothing wrong with it. But there are some including us (me and my husband) preferred to live on our own from day one of our married life.

Why still live with your parents?

I have nothing against those families who are still with their parents. It's probably their choice or the couple talk about it prior to their marriage and they settled for it for some valid reasons. It's a case to case basis scenario. There are some living with their inlaws yet they are having a good and smooth life without much conflict. ( Hooray! lol!)

It is probably an advantage for some coz the inlaws could take care of their kids while the couple are working. No need to hire an unknown nanny for the kids and be restless and apprehensive if they are in good hands.

While some probably are not yet ready to live on their own due to financial constraint or other issues involving married life. Maybe too young as couple or it was an unplanned relationships. Whatever the reasons , it's their call . To live on their own or stay with their parents.

Us

From day one of our married life , we live on our own away from both of our respective families. Not that i hate living with my inlaws or vice versa. But because , we both believe thats the best way it should be as a couple.

As Ephesians 5:29 stated , "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife , and the two shall became one flesh".

See? it is even written in the Bible. lol! I don't mean to create conflicts nor a debate between families living with their inlaws and families living on their own. I just want to share my insights regarding the matter.

Living with my inlaws or with my family either was a set up we did'nt consider . Prior to our marriage , we already talked about where we are going to live . Though during those days we don't have our own place yet. Since my husband was working somewhere in Alabang , Muntinlupa then, so no qualms about it . I came along with him after our marriage in the province. Living in a small place that he has .

In the beginning of our married life wherein we are also starting to build our own Kingdom . Of course i am the Queen of our little home. Who would probably be? From the color of the paint to what curtains i would hang, and where to put this and that, what brand of soap, shampoo, lotions and other stuff to use was all my decision. What to eat during breakfast upto dinner, what to teach my kids , how to discipline them would be all coming from us. No conflict with my mother inlaw at all.

No conflicts of different opinion regarding certain matters, no need for my husband to choose between me and his mother. No competition whose a better cook , better homemaker or whose the BEST QUEEN between us coz we are the BEST QUEEN of our own CASTLE.

An occasional visit from my inlaws or us visiting them was great . Giving them some things or support was not an issue for me. An occasional misunderstanding with them is normal too and i can handle it too smoothly.

Respecting and loving them as well is not hard on my part either. So with my children. Showing them we care to the best of our ability.

Making "sumbong " or reporting certain acts of my husband to them are of great boost of my inlaws confidence Reminding them that they still have authority to discipline their son.

Those little acts can do wonders for the " TWO QUEENS TO BE ALLIES" but in TWO DIFFERENT KINGDOM and two different castles.

Final Thoughts

The pressure of acting as a Daughter , Mother of your child and Wife to your husband everyday would be avoided if your own family are living on your own. Stress portraying all of it everyday of your life if you are living with your inlaws would be avoided. Giving you more time for yourself and your family. By the way , i love my inlaws . They are not perfect , so am i , but we have a smooth relationship , respecting each others boundaries as a QUEEN of our respective home.

Thank you for your time reading my Kings and Queens. Also thanks to @Lhes and hope you'll find the most cordial way to talk it out with your husband.

grey23espartinas

To my three lovely Queens thank you as always ! Kindly visit their lovely Kingdoms and be amaze with their magical wit. @Talecharm @Micontingsabit @alicecalope