No:42 -4

August 09,2022

" Tough Times Never Last , But Tough People Do!" - Robert Schuller

Ever since i had a copy of the book " Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do! " a decade and a half ago if i remember it right , purchased it on sale at National Bookstore . I always read it over and over coz it gives me a sense of encouragement to continue life and smile despite adversities.

And made me believe that "Beautiful Souls are shaped by ugly experiences" .

Though i don't pretend that life is easy when i smile it's just that i have an understanding that every problem has a solution and sometimes it will just go away without being too succumb on it.

In the face of Adversities

I keep on saying that i've been through a lot in the past . I cried many times from the lost of my dear bestfriend who committed suicide due to clinical depression and anxiety , sulk in the corner and hide in a cocoon coz of low self-esteem, suffered pain due to broken family that until now acknowledgement from our father side seems would stay merely just a dream.

Cried a river from the death of the two most lovely woman in my life , my mom and grandma who both battled cancer but lost from it. Shattered by broken dreams to give the best life for my mom in return for her sacrifices and difficulties in raising me and my two siblings alone.

The journey of searching our father that turns out too late coz he was gone long time ago , i was not able to say a thing to him nor ask about our roots. The journey ended just like that. His death ends it all. Whatever connections we have from him was buried alongside his grave.

Many times in the past , i was so down i feel helpless and weak. Nothing was beautiful , all i could see was the gloominess of the sky when it rains. Never appreciate the cool breeze it brings. Only sadness and emptiness i feel it haunted me for years. Asking so many whys. Oh! how i was confused and did not comprehend life from the past.

My Turning point

Everything changes as i started to acknowledged the presence of "The High Above" . I began to understand that all of those are just his ways to strengthen me . That i am not alone fighting my battle. That during those times that i'm at my weakest , He was there to carry me all through out the rough roads.

I came to realized that the death of my biological father was a way to find Him. A true Father that never leave me nor forsake me . That "The Father Above" is always there for me and more than enough to complete the emptiness in my heart and life. That the missing puzzle that i've been looking for is Him.

That the death of my bestfriend will help me to have a better understanding of people who suffers the same . That it would make me a better person to heal someones brokenness by just listening to them. To have a more compassionate heart for peoples suffering. To understand them deeply rather than judging quickly. That mental illness is real and needs attention. My husband also suffers from depression and anxiety due to pandemic and i was able to help him to deal and cope with it without giving up on him. And now he's back on track.

That growing up in a broken family help me to understand the value of having a simple yet whole family. The experienced of brokenness helped me to build a new one with a solid foundation that would lasts a lifetime. Love and Commitment to hold for better or for worst.

That marriage is not just a bed of roses full of happiness but also has thorns in it that you should accept but not a reason to just throw it away.

That married life is like a beautiful painting that was made by different strokes of brushes and hues covering the white clean canvass to create a masterpiece or obra. It should'nt stay white and clean forever or it would'nt be call an obra but just a plain canvass. We are the one whose going to paint and make a beautiful piece.

The lost of two lovely woman in our life served as a reminder to take care of ourselves more. Be more careful of our health and wellbeing. It helps me to be a better mother. They are gone too soon but it teaches us to be independent and strong. Everything was just a preparation for a life that we have right now. It gives us Courage and Hope that when there is life after death , they are the ones whose going to welcome us in the gate of heaven. Every lesson i learned from them was neatly filed in my heart to be check from time to time , to apply in the actual world of motherhood. That women are indeed the strongest soul.

1,2,3 smile! Strike a pose and smile even if life seems unfair. Just like what we are doing in these photo of the past years flood. We can't control the storm and rain from pouring and cause flood in our area but we can't just wait for someone to feed us. We need to go to the city for our supplies. Yes it's hard walking the 5km flooded road but we have to or else much worse problem may arise which is hunger. Life goes on.

It's not easy to clean the house after the flood subsided after a week but we are used to it. It actually gave us the chance to throw unnecessary things inside the house. To rearrange the furnitures. To check on the things that need repair. To clean the house thoroughly and repaint without the fear of dripping the furnitures with paint. An opportunity to change the look of the house to a more jolly and comfy one.

Because of those i had been through. It made me see things differently. I learned how to see beauty despite adversity. Things my eyes cannot see , my heart does feel and see brightly.

Thank you always for the read. And to all my sponsors, Salamat ng marami! May the GOOD LORD bless you all.

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