She and I met when we were studying in school to become nurses. We were very excited about the future we would have, everyone who studied with me wanted to have prominent futures, some wanted to continue studying and others wanted to get married and have a family with a husband and children. This was what my friend Maria wanted for her future.
Although I can't lie, at one time I also wanted to have my own family and children, but then other interests came my way and I changed my mind. I decided to go the long way, but this is another story for now we’ll continue with my friend.
We were very young when we graduated. We went with a scholarship given to us by another state, for 6 months of half pay and then we went to work for them for a year contract.
There my friend fell in love and there she also had her first disappointment in love. We went through many exciting situations, work, friendship, dating and fond memories, but after 18 months I decided to return home again.
And my friend Maria did too, she came here eventually and she found another love. They got married but she couldn't have children. She had two abortions and then nothing, so the next thing she decided to do was to adopt a child and so she did. She was very happy raising this child who for her, he is her treasure.
But then came the hard times, the husband was living a double life, with a pregnant woman in another place. My friend found out about it and that's how long their marriage lasted. They separated and since the son they had was adopted, my friend was left to take care of him, while her adoptive father was left taking care of the other couple she had with her own son.
My friend was always an enterprising woman and was able to support herself and her son very well... until one day she confessed to him that she was not his biological mother.
What could have gone through this sweet boy's brain at this moment? To then become a terrible boy at the age of 10?
His demeanor changed, he became rude, started to hang out with bad boys, he stopped being at home and just wanted to be on the streets, eventually became a drug dealer at the age of 15, he drank and went out wherever he wanted and didn't even take his mother's advice into account.
He became a different person, rebellious, rude, despot. He paid with his mother, the one who adopted him since he was a baby, for his biological mother's bad deed of throwing him away.
My friend went through such difficult situations because the young man even stole from her belongings. My friend decided to put him in jail, the police came to her apartment and she turned him in. She told him that there was nothing more she could do and she gave him all of heis own belongings to take with him.
She tells me that one day, as the years went by, she was walking through the center of the city, where the area of legal businesses and street vendors is... and there she saw him. He had a small table with small things for sale on it. His mother came up to him and said... "This is what you wanted to do with your life? You had everything I could give you, private schools, clothes, food, toys, all my love and you decided to do what you are doing now"
They made peace and she invited him home for a visit, but she no longer wants him back because she knows how far he can go to make her life miserable.
He is now 25 years old and tells her he wants to leave the country. My friend helps him to go to Peru. He wants to develop himself somewhere else and my friend supports his decision. She sells some important machinery from her house and gives him the money to leave.
He has been out of his country for more than a year. He tells his mother that he is sorry for all the wrong he did to her, he doesn't want to go back to his country because he doesn't want to look for anything her, but he remembers his mother's love as the most important thing in his life.
My friend is alone in her house, no husband, no children, she still works but not as a nurse. She has already retired, but the money paid by the ministry to retirees and pensioners is not even enough to buy food for a week so my friend works as an independent businesswoman and gets paid in US dollars.
The question comes to my mind... what makes a child change his behavior from adorable to rebellious after such a revelation from their adoptive parents? Why did he decide to forget all the love he was treated with all his life and treat badly the only being who was faithful, honest and gave him all her motherly love?
You have to put yourself in that young man's place and try to understand what went through his brain when he went from being a beloved son to being an adopted and loved son.
I believe that the thought of his adoption carried more weight than the love that my friend gave to him.
Now my friend is alone, we get together to talk from time to time, but she has her siblings who adore her, her nieces and nephews and her still productive life.
But I am sad to no longer see the son she cared for all her life as a baby, infant and teenager.
These are things that happen in life that we never imagined would happen. When two 16-year-old girls entered that school to make their destiny, they never imagined that behind a life of commitment, of work, of giving so much love, we would have lives with different stories to tell, she alone as a mother and wife and I with the company of my beloved son, both with many anecdotes to tell.
Thanks to all of you my dear readers and sponsors, for always being there.
When you have adopted children, the question always arises whether or not to tell the truth. There are many factors in favour of remaining reserved about telling the truth. In a 10 year old child you have to take into consideration that stage where there is no emotional maturity yet, and then the approaching adolescence without a father, it is difficult to cope without the professional help of a family psychologist. Interesting content to reflect on the subject.