I was thinking these last days how we as people are used to keeping certain habits. Sometimes they are good but sometimes these habits are bad things to have. At the same time keeping bad habits attempt against our best evolution in life.  

False promises:

Another habit we adopt is to always promise. How do we promise things if we aren’t even sure we can fulfill them?  And the worst thing is that we see the people to whom we have promised something we don’t justify to them why we still or never fulfill our promise.

We must take care of our words. What we say has force and exerts a power over people. When a person is in a difficult situation and we promise to help and then we don’t fulfill it, for us it is just another fault and we do not give it importance but for the person to whom we offered or gave our word of help, a feeling remains. He or she still remembers and expects us to fulfill it. As time goes by, the person in question becomes disappointed, loses faith in us and may even defame us because of they see us as irresponsible, they aren’t that far off  either because it’s irresponsible to promise and not deliver.

And sometimes we unintentionally make promises believing that it’s of no importance and simply forget about it. But we lose credibility and respect before our fellow men when this is part of our life.

Let us not promise if we can’t believe we can do it. Don't give your word to anyone if you don't really own your actions.  Don't hurt people's feelings when you offer and don't deliver, that's really pitiful of you. 

Toxic people:

We are people who face daily events that are annoying to our mental health. As is the fact of having to listen to people who day by day only tell us about their bad life situations. As soon as these people see their friends they feel a morbid happiness in telling in detail how they suffered with an illness or an irregular event every day of their lives. I don't mean that a person sporadically has something unusual happen to him or her and comments on it, I am referring to those who every day find something to complain about in order to get attention.

Sooner or later we will avoid listening to those people because it’s really harmful to our soul to keep trying to get them to improve their way of seeing life.

I remember when I worked in my youth I met the first person that affected me so much emotionally, so much that whenever I saw her I avoided fraternizing with her. When I saw her, and out of necessity, needed to have her as my staff I decided never to greet her with a "how are you?” because then she would begin to narrate an endless series of events about how terrible she was.

Believe me, having to listen to this every day is not pleasant because I realized that this person was not sick in her body as she said but in her negativity and I decided that whenever I saw her I would immediately give her the tasks for that day after saying good morning.

And so I learned to see the negativity or toxicity of people and learned to tell them just key things so that they would not involve me in their long dark stories.

In a subtle way I tried to tell them that they should modify their mentality so that they would not live with so many worries, but it was like adding fuel to the fire. So I opted to change my way of communicating with them.

Achieving goals:

Sometimes we can't succeed in everything we desire. It becomes an eternal struggle against all odds to achieve something that is not really for us.  We must learn to read the messages through the difficulties to achieve a goal.

In no way do I mean by this that when we don’t get what we want and what we fight for we should give up, no, it’s not that. But sometimes we must try to explain to ourselves coldly why we have so many obstacles to achieve a benefit we long for. It is then that we must ask ourselves...

Is it worth everything I do?

Is it worth making so many sacrifices to achieve this goal?

Or am I getting messages that this time it’s not for me to fight for this?

Sometimes we get capriciously caught up in pursuing something that gets us nowhere, and when we refresh our minds it doesn’t mean to stop fighting, it does not mean to give up, what I want to point out is that in some cases we cannot achieve everything we want and that is not a bad thing. It’s part of life and of the experiences that we manage to accumulate in order to know what is next, what is really important and that we must give our all to achieve it.

It happens that sometimes success is in making better decisions and forgetting to continue in something that only leaves frustrations and that doesn’t help in anything to our improvement.

These are some of my recommendations to try to live better our experiences and that not all successes are about achievements but also failures. Learning to accept them makes us better human beings, better people, better parents, better friends.