I’m dreaming.

This is the story of who knows who or who knows what. I still can't think of what to write, so as I go along I must start to let some of my creative mind flow.

Yes, I am listening to instrumental tunes while my mind travels back in time remembering when I heard that tune the first few times. You know that for a person of my physical years there are a lot of memories stored in the chip of their memory... When he looks at something or hears something that seems familiar my mind flies and the deja vu starts, there is something there that already happened in other times and so it happens with the melodies I hear.

Do you know that there is a very long distance between the physical time of our body and the mental time? Let me explain. It happens that for many people who are already past 60 years of age like me, it happens to us that when we dream, we do not dream of the present physical age but we dream of the past mental age.

Let me explain better, it happens to me very often that when I sleep and rest deeply, I usually dream that I am a woman of about 30 or 35 years old or even younger. I never dream with my current physical age; it is as if my mind gave me these whimsical moments. And I dream of my parents who have passed away or I dream of my two siblings who have passed away or of friends who are no longer around and I dream and evoke them as in the past but with the difference that it is an updated picture.

Maybe I should see this sometime with a psychoanalyst to see what he/she tells me about it. I have never dreamed of my current years because my mind believes that I am not yet this age.

I know that when I was very young, I was very precocious I always wanted to be an adult very fast. In fact I became independent very young. I started to make my decisions from the age of 15 when I decided to study my first profession and from then on, I always kept getting more and more responsibilities, they don't weigh me down now, no, they never weighed me down.

I think that if I was really born again, I would take the same paths but with more accurate decisions because I made a lot of mistakes, thanks to my independence, I did not use to take some advices that were given to me far from my family or friends.

What I am getting at is that since I became an adult at a very young age, I started to enjoy children's things later as an adult like riding in bumper cars at the circus or going to see these distractions and enjoying them for the first time with my son.

I guess my mental development didn't evolve as fast as my physical development and I got mentally stuck in the past. I so enjoy the memories, my friends from the past, sitting and reminiscing about those moments that made me laugh.

It happens that remembering events, I never liked to stay too long in the groups and for one reason or another I left the groups very quickly. Sometimes people didn't want to enjoy themselves but to waste their time talking about other friends and I gradually stopped going to groups because of that.

Today I remember them and I think that I took many decisions in a very arbitrary way without thinking much and instead of leaving behind a trail of friends I left a trail of memories. That now in the passing of time they come back and it is then when I see that I made mistakes and they can no longer be solved because they are part of my past and they are no longer today but in my mind.

All these memories sometimes come to my mind in dreams and I am again the young student of yesterday, or the young nurse of so many years ago or maybe I remember the young doctor of 26 years ago when I was just finishing my career as such.

Dreaming is like surfing the internet, it makes you see things in other ways and in other times as if we are there but we know we are in an etheric memory because we have another life now.

In the same dream you can realize that it no longer exists and what happens? Because I am there, living moments that no longer are.

I am still young, I am in my dreams, you know? Maybe someone can identify with these thoughts that have come to my mind just by listening to a musical sound in my computer that took me to fly. I am not young anymore but I am still young in my dreams.

Thanks to all of you who read me and share your thoughts. Thank you for your company, for your solidarity, for your sponsorships even though things are a bit bad, we keep moving forward and we will not stop so easily.

Thank you all, I carry you in my memories and in my heart.

I am @gertu13 from Venezuela to the world.