He was my father.

He was a strong man, perhaps tormented by his own demons. He lived the way he wanted to, never following anything but his own rules. From what my mother told me, he was a terrible son and an even worse brother. He just wanted to live fighting with everyone.

Somehow, he got in a dispute with his relatives and so he decided one day to leave his country to come to a different one where he knew nothing and nobody, not even his own language was spoken, so that he could start again. He served his original country's army, I don't know against whom or what he fought, or if he actually fought at all, but it was a country at war, a war that plunged it into chaos bringing more poverty than anything else to its citizens.

He met my mother, she succumbed to his charms. He was a handsome man, who knew how to talk and convince people. I guess that's how he convinced my mother to get married.

And so he came to live in this country of opportunity. He worked in many trades before settling down as a merchant. He was a gardener without knowing, a shoemaker, a salesman and other trades that don’t come to mind right now.

Then, I don't know how, he was able to gather enough resources became a businessman, but because of his bad decisions he lost that business and then he moved from where we lived, from the capital of this beautiful country. It was there that 4 of the 6 siblings that make up this family were born.

He wanted to come to this city where I live now. We were living on the earnings he received working as a public transportation driver as well as the collaboration of my mother who sold ice cream. With her money he bought us what we needed for school; clothes, utensils, shoes, etc.

Meanwhile, my father continued to live his life with his rules, without respecting the opinions of others. He would fight with my mother when he was provoked. He would go out partying for months when provoked, not caring about my mother's feelings.

She suffered a lot with his rudeness, with his physical and verbal abuse. She learned to be a submissive woman just to avoid controversy, so that he wouldn’t be upset.

He went out partying with friends, drank all the liquor he wanted, and hung out with as many women as he wanted. My mother put up with it all.

He was not a man of bad feelings but of bad decisions, and he made too many of them. His bad temper, his sense of living life his own way, his cheerful life without wanting to have more responsibilities, because the eldest son, that is, my older brother, lived and kept himself alone and apart from us. 

I met my brother when I was 9 to 10 years old and he, my brother, was already 21 years old and he stopped working for my father and now he would work only for himself.

As I said, my father was not an evil person, he just made very bad decisions. He loved to laugh and tell jokes. When he would get together at home with his friends he would tell lots of jokes for all of us to enjoy.

Once a year he took us on a trip to the beach and once a year we would go to the river. A few times he took us to the mountains. There were very few times we went out as a family. He didn't drink a lot of alcohol when he took us out because he would have to drive back. But he would buy groceries for my mother to prepare food during the day and spend an enjoyable day in nature.

I remember very few outings but I did enjoy them. He taught me how to swim. I don't remember how he did it but it was in the river. I think he set me to float while he held me by the abdomen and asked me to move my arms and feet and that's how I learned to swim.

Birthdays were celebrated by my mother. For dad that involved expenses and he didn't do it. But my mother did make me a cake so that at night my brothers and my father, who came home from work in his car, would sing happy birthday to me.

He was a man of great character and all his children inherited that strong character. I think that is why all of us, his children, my siblings, decided to study and graduate. Each one of us did it under his own responsibility.

I believe that thanks to that personality and his constant bad decisions we were strengthened in character and grew in desire to move forward to get out of the way of life that our father led.

That is why today I thank God for the father who chose me to lead my life. Because I believe that if I had not had the desire to study, to graduate and to have money to be an independent woman and to get ahead of all this messy life we had at home, without that important stimulus, I believe that today I would just be one more wife trying to raise a few children and wanting to please a husband just like my mother did.

Not that it was a bad thing to live to support a family but it's not a lifestyle that would have been favorable for me. And in fact I think it was mom who always told all of us to study no matter what our father said. She said all that because she didn't want us to follow her destiny.

Thanks to God, my father's way of being and my mother's emotional encouragement, today I am a woman who feels worthy of all my struggles. Of all the goals I have managed to overcome and of all the objectives I have achieved.

I still have a long way to go, because I am the example for my son. But if God continues to give me strength I will continue to work hard and hope to be there when my sons, for the honor and the memory of my parents.