Do you know the betrayal of a friend?

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Avatar for gertu13
3 years ago

Do you know when to let go of a friendship? I learned a long time ago that friends are the family we choose to be part of our life. This means that we try in every way to make soul friends.

It's not that we are in the business of seeing which person next to you has the same ideas as you or shares the same tastes as you. Friendship is not about that.

We may be totally different people but a very strong bond is born in us because your way of being with me is special. You are with me, you respect my space, you give me my time, you understand my sadness and share my joy. My triumphs are yours, my weaknesses you show me as my strengths. You lift me up and encourage me when I fall and you know how to be quiet when I need silence. You make me see when I'm wrong and torment me when you're in the mood.

And I am the best company for you, because I give back to you with the same love that you give to me.

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So if being a soul friend is someone so special, why should we have our special friends doing the opposite?

It just so happens that this si exactly something that happened to me. I have a friend from many years ago. She was a good friend for many years who one fine day invited me on a trip. And while on that trip she was transformed, she changed her attitude towards me and gave me the worst possible treatment. I asked to talk to her but she was busy.

Until I could no longer stand her bad treatment and I decided to leave the place where I was. No money, with my son, several hours away from where I was living and my God is so good that when I arrived at the passenger terminal in that city I was able to take out exactly what I had left in my savings account and pay for the last two seats left on the public transport that would bring me and my son home.

Then, when I arrived in the city where three days ago my friend had invited me to travel, I had a few coins left which I could use to pay for for the other ride home.

We arrived safely, my son and I... and decided to stay in our house. Then we left for another city with another close friend of mine.

At home I had the money I needed for the trip and I activated again my cards to spend the new years eve in another city.

It hurt me... it hurt me a lot that my friend turned like that to me in her own house. After that, I didn't hear from her for several months and she didn't even look for me. As the months went by, because of the pressure from her family, who is very fond of me, she decided to come to my house.

 She was unaware of the way she treated me, but I let it go. We discussed it and was forgiven, but not forgotten.

With time I realize that she changed too much. The things that led me to choose her as my friend had all changed not to mention that she herself had changed too much. On several occasions I needed her and I asked her to come and talk to me, and all I received as an answer was "In a couple of days I’ll come over there". And so the days, weeks and months went by, with no sign of my friend.

My friend was no longer my friend. My love for her continued, because you cannot eliminate the love that is born in a relationship of friendship, but by that point I already knew that I couldn’t count on her.

Multiple situations arose, but her word was no longer worth anything. And I decided not to bother anymore.

Recently she sent me a message... after six months of absence and then another and another message, she wants to reconnect once again, but it's not the same anymore, I don't trust her anymore, I decided to tell her not to call me anymore and to go on with her life as she has been doing. The disappointment does not let me believe in her friendship. What we had is dead. The bond of love remains, love does not die, but the disappointment is very strong. I don't want her by my side. I keep remembering when we had such a strong friendship and we supported each other.

She has money now, maybe that changed her. I only have what I have and with that I am very happy. I think maybe the money changed her.

But I'm at a stage in my life where I want to be with the people who love me, the ones who are able to keep their love for me and who don't become toxic people who look for me when they need me.

Because if there is one thing that is clear to me is that I give my life for my friendships. If you are my friend, you are my sister and I'm not slow to come to your aid, but I'm not willing to be used and transform my love into something else, as if I was just a utility of the moment and then I'm nothing.

I no longer have her by my side. I asked her to let go of me and go away. That she doesn't need me, but much less do I need her.  I don't want anyone who doesn't love me. I need my life and what's left of it to be happy. Happy with my life, with my soul friends, with my son and with those who want to have me in their lives... the rest, everything else has no meaning for me.

I remember when I asked her not to call and that she didn't need me anymore. She told me that I hated her, she understood in her own way that the fact that I didn't want to talk or call her anymore was because I wish her bad and hate her. I don't know why she interpreted it that way. I don't know why we have to hate people to remove them from our lives. I assure you there is no hatred, I just want the peace that gives me tranquility in my life.   

Has something similar happened to you? Have you felt used, that things between you and someone else have become distant? What do you do in that case?

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3 years ago

Comments

There is a say that friend in need is a friend indeed. Friendship is most forgotten when one finds happiness in other material gains. But not all friendships are such. There are still friends who respect each other

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Friendship has many shades and the important thing is to show that we are true friends.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Very true. But this must be from both the sides.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

When I have friends who don't appreciate mine, I walk away from them. I let them go their way and I go mine. I treat them politely when I meet them, but never with the confidence of a true friendship.

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3 years ago

That's really what you do in these cases. Live and let live.

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3 years ago

Given any situation, people change. There are triggers that will transform them and those that we knew before will become stranger to us. You have done the right thing by distancing yourself. I remember one of my best friends suddenly stopped talking to me and treated me coldly, kept ignoring me even when we are with our friends. Until one of our friends explained that I did something wrong. I didn't even know that what I did was wrong. We patched it up and we are friends again. I've learned over the years to not expect too much from others so as not to disappoint myself. I try to be as understanding as I could be for I wanted peace.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

It's disappointing when you spend over 40 years with a friendship that then starts to break down and we realize it's because of money. People who become wealthy think the rest of us are their friends because they have more money than we do. But they don't remember that we were friends from poverty. And then that forgetfulness takes them away from reality.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

I feel you. I can relate these to relatives. They only know us when we had money but now they won't even bother to say hi. Families get broken because of money. There's just too much greed in this world.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Oh my. I couldn't reached the friendship that I believe I can count on. I miss them badly, I always beg for them to come see me. But this past few days i think I would fully forget them in my life. It really hurts me knowing they don't need me as I needed them. That they don't even miss me as I miss them. The last time we see each other is the time they needed someone for their job requirements to be done. And I think that's it. I would surely forget them.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

It is unfortunate that we are used in our best intentions.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I felt used way too many times, I actually lost count. But she sounds like someone who could gaslight you, you do not need that... have a blessed life

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thank you for your comment.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Hah, years ago I also let go of some of my so-called friends. Got rid of all the manipulators in my life. Thank God I was a changed person after getting over a great predicament. It can be sad but it is time to move on from people who treat us badly.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

You are correct. Toxic people need to be let go. It cannot be that with so much evil already in the world we can afford to have evil as our loved ones.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Money reveals color some people choose to hide. Well, it's her lost ma'am not yours. I am sure she'll realize what she did was so wrong. Maybe not now, but one day. And when that happens, she will realize what true friendship is.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

At this point in her life, what I hope is that she doesn't do the same to other people, because she's going to be alone. And may she receive many blessings to change her hard heart.

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3 years ago

i hope it won't happen to me.. i have not experienced it though.. but i know it would be painful

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Any act of contempt is malicious and I hope you never go through this situation.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

When ever when we choose our friends we don't know of his mind but with the time we know eachother if your friend good then you realize and if they are bad you are also realize but you don't let him leave easily, Always try to choose a good company Friends.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I am sorry it happened to you. There are just people whose personality changed when they become rich. Maybe she invited you to her home to show you how rich she is and that is bad.

Though you have drifted apart, just include her in your prayers. She might need that.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

She is not a friend of a few days. She is a friend of many, many years. I have been to their homes many, many times and I was treated very well. Until everything started to change. She and all my friends are always in my prayers. God's love softens the hard.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Some really change after having a lot of money in their hands. Some do to the point of breaking the beautiful friendship that they build together. I think I'm okay wih just one true friend that with a lot but you don't know if they are being true to you 🤕

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Sometimes people don't realize what they are losing. Time can make her come to her senses and realize what a big mistake she has made. I pray for her hardened heart and that she is not doing the same to others around her.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Sad but true, a true friend will never treat like that to his/her friend. Maybe theres something in her that you need to understand also and give some space until she realize why im doing this I have a friend that I misunderstood with no reason.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

This was the second chance I gave him to show me that he really loved me as his sister. As we were for more than 40 years. But for the second time she didn't care about the bond and stomped on it again. I will not give her any more chances to hurt me.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Well let it be as long as you are true to yourself.:)

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I cannot imagine someone inviting me and then treat me that way. I would really be hurt. I think relationships are like that, when the trust has been tainted, it will be difficult to patch up and the bond will just fade away.

And yes, money changes people. I once had a friend who borrowed money from me and just went silent afterward no matter how I tried to connect. I even messaged her that she doesn't need to worry because I have no intention of taking back what I lent her but she still ignored me so I stopped connecting with her. I think she may have been really embarrassed so she just decided to not have anything to do with me anymore.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Losing a friendship because you don't want to pay money is really very mean. Love does not die. We are sisters for more than 40 years. But she did not respect my sisterly love and trampled on my friendship.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

It is, yes. And wow to that 40 years of being friends and sisters. It's a pity she didn't value it. It's really an "ouch"

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Money can really change someone.
But you did not lose her, she lost you. Love of friends is more important than anything else. Because in this world, we can't survive alone. We need other people.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

It is sad to know that a friendship since adolescence began to die when he felt he had the power of money. He felt he could crush everyone around him. But it also crushed my love for her. Today I am left with fond memories and treasure them in my heart.

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3 years ago

What your friend did is very wrong. Inviting you and then making you feel bad is cruel because she was in her space and you were a guest. Nothing like this has ever happened to me. But it has happened to me to have friends with whom I think I get along well and when spending together several days, then realize that the person isn't really what I thought.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

We had lived together when we were young. We both studied nursing and worked together. We lived in a residential home with many nurses for 18 months. We had many good experiences throughout our lives. I visited and stayed at her house many, many times. But I did notice that she began to change and treat me differently. She invited me to Caracas by the way. There all her family, husband and children realized how badly she was behaving with me. From there I came back with no money but God is good. Everything worked out perfectly for my return. God wanted me to live through that to realize that. I still came back to give him a second chance but it was worse. And now I will only keep the pleasant memories.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

When people change that way, it's best to keep the good memories and move on. I think you did well.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Time will tell. Thank you for your comment.

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3 years ago