Do you know when to let go of a friendship? I learned a long time ago that friends are the family we choose to be part of our life. This means that we try in every way to make soul friends.
It's not that we are in the business of seeing which person next to you has the same ideas as you or shares the same tastes as you. Friendship is not about that.
We may be totally different people but a very strong bond is born in us because your way of being with me is special. You are with me, you respect my space, you give me my time, you understand my sadness and share my joy. My triumphs are yours, my weaknesses you show me as my strengths. You lift me up and encourage me when I fall and you know how to be quiet when I need silence. You make me see when I'm wrong and torment me when you're in the mood.
And I am the best company for you, because I give back to you with the same love that you give to me.
So if being a soul friend is someone so special, why should we have our special friends doing the opposite?
It just so happens that this si exactly something that happened to me. I have a friend from many years ago. She was a good friend for many years who one fine day invited me on a trip. And while on that trip she was transformed, she changed her attitude towards me and gave me the worst possible treatment. I asked to talk to her but she was busy.
Until I could no longer stand her bad treatment and I decided to leave the place where I was. No money, with my son, several hours away from where I was living and my God is so good that when I arrived at the passenger terminal in that city I was able to take out exactly what I had left in my savings account and pay for the last two seats left on the public transport that would bring me and my son home.
Then, when I arrived in the city where three days ago my friend had invited me to travel, I had a few coins left which I could use to pay for for the other ride home.
We arrived safely, my son and I... and decided to stay in our house. Then we left for another city with another close friend of mine.
At home I had the money I needed for the trip and I activated again my cards to spend the new years eve in another city.
It hurt me... it hurt me a lot that my friend turned like that to me in her own house. After that, I didn't hear from her for several months and she didn't even look for me. As the months went by, because of the pressure from her family, who is very fond of me, she decided to come to my house.
She was unaware of the way she treated me, but I let it go. We discussed it and was forgiven, but not forgotten.
With time I realize that she changed too much. The things that led me to choose her as my friend had all changed not to mention that she herself had changed too much. On several occasions I needed her and I asked her to come and talk to me, and all I received as an answer was "In a couple of days I’ll come over there". And so the days, weeks and months went by, with no sign of my friend.
My friend was no longer my friend. My love for her continued, because you cannot eliminate the love that is born in a relationship of friendship, but by that point I already knew that I couldn’t count on her.
Multiple situations arose, but her word was no longer worth anything. And I decided not to bother anymore.
Recently she sent me a message... after six months of absence and then another and another message, she wants to reconnect once again, but it's not the same anymore, I don't trust her anymore, I decided to tell her not to call me anymore and to go on with her life as she has been doing. The disappointment does not let me believe in her friendship. What we had is dead. The bond of love remains, love does not die, but the disappointment is very strong. I don't want her by my side. I keep remembering when we had such a strong friendship and we supported each other.
She has money now, maybe that changed her. I only have what I have and with that I am very happy. I think maybe the money changed her.
But I'm at a stage in my life where I want to be with the people who love me, the ones who are able to keep their love for me and who don't become toxic people who look for me when they need me.
Because if there is one thing that is clear to me is that I give my life for my friendships. If you are my friend, you are my sister and I'm not slow to come to your aid, but I'm not willing to be used and transform my love into something else, as if I was just a utility of the moment and then I'm nothing.
I no longer have her by my side. I asked her to let go of me and go away. That she doesn't need me, but much less do I need her. I don't want anyone who doesn't love me. I need my life and what's left of it to be happy. Happy with my life, with my soul friends, with my son and with those who want to have me in their lives... the rest, everything else has no meaning for me.
I remember when I asked her not to call and that she didn't need me anymore. She told me that I hated her, she understood in her own way that the fact that I didn't want to talk or call her anymore was because I wish her bad and hate her. I don't know why she interpreted it that way. I don't know why we have to hate people to remove them from our lives. I assure you there is no hatred, I just want the peace that gives me tranquility in my life.
Has something similar happened to you? Have you felt used, that things between you and someone else have become distant? What do you do in that case?
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There is a say that friend in need is a friend indeed. Friendship is most forgotten when one finds happiness in other material gains. But not all friendships are such. There are still friends who respect each other