Postpartum psychosis: The dark side behind motherhood

Being a mother is a tough role, but it is a blessing indeed. It is a gift given to us, having a little angel. But let's face it, being a mother to little angels is not easy because we experience different emotions. What if we experience a dark one as we take care of the little angel? It's horrible but it's happening in real life.

Have you done anything physically harmful to your child? 

When and what was the worst thing you did when he was a baby or a toddler? 

If you haven't had that experience, you are extremely fortunate because you  are strong and can withstand such things. 

Believe it or not, this is a common occurrence among first-time mothers, and it is necessary to consult a doctor.

Here are some experiences shared by random moms:

The names of those who shared their experiences are hidden as per request, by them.

Mom #1

"I have a kind, caring, and loving husband. But why do I still experience loneliness especially when my child is just a little one (days old)? I experienced covering baby’s face with a pillow while she was crying. I was able to utter a bad word to my baby. I was able to let her cry until I could no longer hear a voice while she was crying. Until now, I only have one child and she is 4 years old but I still feel sadness, annoyance and anger but I already passed the violent act. I no longer doing that worst behavior. I have never experienced seeing a doctor."

I know her personally, she graduated as a teacher but she is jobless as of now. Perhaps one of the things she stressed about it's because she couldn't get the job she wanted.

Mom #2

"Nobody knows what I'm intending to tell. I don't even tell to my husband about it. They thought I wasn't going through what they were going through as a parent. But the truth is that my story isn't any new from yours. I always love scrolling and reading useful articles, particularly about parenting that's why I know what I've been through. Every night, I cried. I was crying without any reasons and it affected my baby a lot. Because I knew it was a postpartum, I tried to keep my hand away from my daughter. But what always happened was that I let her cry and cry until I couldn't hear her voice any longer. It feels so good when I'm doing it, but after a few minutes, I realize I'm being an evil mother to my child. Then it happened again the next day. It happened everyday. When they were at 3-4 years of age, that's the time I used hard things to beat them sometimes. I swear to God, I didn't want it to happen. I'm not that person. Everytime I remembered that, It feels so horrible and I couldn't forgive myself from doing that. My postpartum depression is over now and my kids are grown. I'm still stressed, but I'm able to keep it under control, and my children are no longer affected.

I can relate to them. It's really horrible but it's really hard also for a mother. Who's mother wants to hurt her child? No one!

Mom #3

"I couldn't believe that I was sharing this to you. I'm a little bit nervous because I don't know what could have been the reaction of the readers about it. It was late when I discovered that I've been experiencing postpartum. The worst thing that I did to my kid was probably when I verbally abused him when he was just 3 days old. It is sad to say that my postpartum depression lasted over 5 years. It happened continuously up to my second child. We can easily judge mothers like this but we don’t know what they are really going through and how they feel. Right now I still have feelings related to my postpartum depression. But because they discussed postpartum depression with me so I was able to find a way to avoid it.

That was my experience as well. But I can't share mine because it was awful. You should better understand why this is happening to you. Let us not allow anything worse to happen to our children before we find a solution.

Mom #4

I'm a senior now and I had a lot of Experiences being a mom. I also beat my kids a lot. But the thing I couldn't forgotten was the word "crazy". They called me a crazy woman because of the way I talk , I emote and I act. I never heard the word postpartum depression before when I was younger, I wasn't aware of that. Yes, I put my hand to my kids a lot of times. I hurt them physically and verbally. That's why they called me crazy. It's easy to say crazy to someone you don't know, right? But no one asked me WHY?

Her story was probably the most horrible story among the participants of interviews. The word "crazy" can tell everything of what she'd been through. She'd been physically and verbally abused by her husband. In additon to her stresses was being abused also by neighbors, friends and even her own relatives. Imagine those horrible things, what would be the effect of it on her kids?

Since I have terrible experiences also just like the other parents, my advice is to learn more. You may ask your Doctor about what's happening to you or make a research. Personally, I read a lot of articles about Postpartum Depression and other problems after giving birth. By that, you'll be aware of everything that could possibly harm both your baby and yourself. Seek for help because it's a serious matter.

Obviously, in this article, moms are referring to the word "Postpartum Depression". But I can't discuss it here because I'm not an expert. I will just leave a link below about Postpartum.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20376617