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Who is fantagira?

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Written by   246
7 months ago


7th of June 2021

Recently @Olasquare asked me about the origin of my nickname. I gave him a brief explanation, but of course there is more to it. I get asked about my nickname often, so instead of explaining it every time somebody asks, I can send them a link to this article, which explains it abundantly. 

I think I was 13 or 14 when by some miracle I was allowed to spend a night outside my parents place. My dad must have been away and I probably came up with some intricate lie to make it happen. Mind you, before mobile phones this was somewhat easier to arrange AND not get caught. I say a miracle, because my parents had to be extra careful, as we were under the care of social workers due to our past. 

Let me tell you about my well hidden past, which I don’t usually discuss with anyone. It’s a small part of it, but you’ll get an idea. 

When I was 11, my brother and I were taken away from my parents, because my dad was in prison and my mum had a breakdown and was also taken to a mental hospital. I was doing my best to keep myself and my 8 years old brother clean, fed and attending school and was hoping that with the help of a neighbour we can survive until mum is back from the hospital. Some of the neighbours thought otherwise and sent a social worker my way, who in turn arranged for us to be taken away.

Firstly we spent 2-3 months in an emergency orphanage. There were no foster families in Poland. Just big buildings with a lot of kids like us, whose parents were not able to look after them for whatever reasons. It wasn’t all that bad - I found a friend who bullied me on a regular basis and I joined the same local dance team which she attended for a while before me. We also had free access to a swimming pool, which we visited frequently during the weekends. My mum was out of the hospital by then and came to visit us, but I wasn’t all that keen on her visits, as she wasn’t her normal self yet. 

Later we were taken to an even further away town to a more permanent orphanage. Weirdly enough, I was somewhat happy. My life has become peaceful. I had a room that I shared with 1 other person and every night I could fall asleep without worrying that my dad might come back home drunk in the middle of the night and throw a tantrum. 

My bully friend and her sister were also moved there at the same time and together we found yet another dance team to join. This time we also had free access to an ice rink as well as a swimming pool and bus/tram pass. We had a lot of privileges just because we were poor. Every summer the building was undergoing some reconstructions and all kids were assigned 2 different vacations. Usually 1 abroad and one on a scout campsite in some beautiful parts of Poland, where we slept in tents, learned survival skills, sang songs and did other scout things. All fun, although I remember escaping from one of those campsites and making our way back to the orphanage. I think partly it was a ‘cool’ thing we heard other kids did and partly we didn’t like the idea of going for another half day long pilgrimage, so we went ahead of everyone and took a train back ‘home’. Our guardians were not impressed and the renovations were not yet finished, so we were taken right back to the campsite. We were a seasonal heroes though :D 

Overall I quite enjoyed the 2 years we spent away from my parents house. Apart from dancing and skating I also learned how to smoke cigarettes, had my first kisses and first boyfriends. As much as I love my mum, I wasn’t all that keen on going back to my parents once my dad was out of prison and they finally ‘won us back’ in court. I had no idea what to expect and I also wasn’t keen on going to a 4th different primary school, whilst most normal kids only ever attended one. 

One good part was that my mum saved some money and bought me many new clothes just before I was once again sent away for a vacation. This time we were in Polish mountains together with other poor kids and I really liked one of the boys from the first sight. In the 2 weeks that we spent there I never showed the guy that I liked him and agreed to be a girlfriend of another boy, as my confidence was non-existent back then. On the last day of holiday I found out that actually my first choice also really liked me, so I broke up with the other boy and spent the last day and night with The One! Not what you think though! Us, older kids were allowed to stay up till the sunrise on the last day of holiday and watch the movies. It was the first time I drank coffee to stay awake and we sat on the wooden chairs next to each other, watching movies and holding hands under the blanket. How romantic was this? It does make me smile. 

I think this was the one and only romantic time we had though. Next day we came back home and although I was visiting the nearby village where all my new friends lived, somehow we never became a thing. That party at the end of summer which everyone was going to attend and stay in a huge tent overnight was my last chance for a romantic moment with The One. I seriously can't remember how I managed to perform this miracle and attend it, but my MOTIVATION was clearly spot on back then! 

Yes, we drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes. Guys put up a huge tent while girls were picking up wood for a bonfire.  We sang songs and had lots of laughter. I can’t remember exactly what happened with The One anymore, probably nothing major.  What I can remember vividly was that there were 2 Monika’s and whenever somebody called one, both answered. That night Fantagira was born. One of the older guys gave me this nickname after the Italian fantasy series  ‘Fantaghiro’  aka ‘The cave of a golden rose’. In Polish language however, all female names end with an ‘a’, hence why Fantagira replaced Fantaghiro. 

I once read an article in a magazine about people whose surnames would define  their life choices. Like for example Edward Driver would become a driving instructor or Anastasia Flower would become a famous gardener etc. One could wonder if the same applies to a nickname. 

Who was Fantaghiro? 

Picture from Wikipedia link below

On Wikipedia we can read this about her: 

The youngest princess of three, she is outspoken, headstrong and never retreats from battle. Although beautiful and intelligent, she causes many problems for her family because she goes against everything expected for a woman in her kingdom, by being literate, adventurous and rebellious, which makes her father furious. In the first film, she is an impulsive troublemaker who likes to provoke her father and sisters, but underneath it she has a good heart. By the second film onwards, she is accepted as a fighter who will do whatever it takes to protect her loved ones, even if that means sacrificing her own life. She is deeply in love with Romualdo, who was previously her kingdom's enemy. They are married in the third film and adopt the orphaned Princess Esmeralda as their daughter.

Fantaghirò tries to befriend all creatures and people she meets, unless they try to harm those she cares about. She is very forgiving and looks past physical appearances.

What can I say? In first movie Fantaghiro dressed up as a man to prove her worth to her dad. I dressed more like a men when I was younger and always used to prefer male friends. Most of my working life I also spent amongst men in engineering, fighting to prove my worth. For a randomly picked nickname, this is surprisingly accurate. I am not so much of a fighter these days, I pick my battles or skip them altogether, but younger me was definitely all that and some more! Now I wonder if it was in fact just a random selection as I have always thought? I will most likely never know.

I can tell you a fun fact though! My Italian friend who was helping me with allotment work last week also uses the same nickname from the same movie! Fun fact 2: she is also number 7 in numerology and although the series above consisted of 5 movies, initially there were meant to be 7 of them. 

Fantaghirò would have continued to travel to parallel worlds, including ours, before returning home to find it too an alternative reality where she would face an evil version of herself.

This almost sounds like me and Ernesto! Except my inner donkey is not really evil, just stubborn. 

Until next time 💙

****************************************************************

Uff... This was a long read. If you managed to read all the way till the end, please leave a comment below, so I can give you a medal ;)

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Written by   246
7 months ago
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Comments

I want my medal! 😂

This came up as a suggestion. So I thought "sure why not, let's stalk her." 🙈

Having grown up in Germany to "Polish" parents I always thought that my parents were extremely peculiar. After having read your article, I think that maybe it's more a cultural difference than an individual problem.

After all, the stereotypical Italian family is also quite loud and shouts at each other all the time. And the Polish family adds aggression and possibly alcohol to that. 😅

$ 0.05
2 months ago

Haha, you picked a good one for stalking 😅 Probably one of the longest too! You sure deserved that medal 🥇

Why do you say ''Polish'' like this? were they indeed Polish? Can you speak Polish?

Hard to generalise like this, some families are 'normal', but drinking is definitely a habit too widely normalised and encouraged in Polish culture. As for Italians, from talking to my Italian friend I concluded Polish and Italians are very similar in many aspects.

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2 months ago

My parents were born and raised in Poland, but the generation of my grandparents and before were German. They lived in a part of Poland that used to be German until the end of WWII. That's why I put "Polish" in quotation marks. My ancestors were regarded as the Germans in Poland - and when they came to Germany in the eighties, they were regarded as the Poles in Germany - which makes sense as the generation of my parents grew up speaking Polish all their lives, but it must have been a shitty experience for them.

Unfortunately, my parents did not teach me Polish when I was a child and by the time they wanted to teach me, I didn't want to learn their "strange dialect" which was a mixture of Polish and unrecognisable German. So I ended up not being able to speak or understand Polish - except for pretty much every cuss word ever as my father always cussed in Polish when he was angry. Which pretty much was always the case.

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2 months ago

That’s one hell of a story, although very common in our region. When I briefed my dad on your story he guessed that your parents moved there in 80’s. From what you say it might be that your parents come from the region of Poland my parents come from too! My whole family lives in Zary and Zagan area, which is very close to German border, only my parents moved to Silesian region in 80’s, as my dad worked in coal mines here. Where are your parents from?

Ahh, good job you didn’t learn that dialect. It’s barely understandable anyway. I had an old friend who spoke with this dialect and it was a struggle to follow him 😅

Polish people love to swear. If you ask English people, many know how to swear and some know how to say ‘Good morning’ 😉

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2 months ago

My mother's family came from Strzelce Opolskie or Groß-Strehlitz and my father's family came from Raciborz (I believe that's the correct spelling, but not sure to be honest). My father's father actually worked in a coal mine, too.

Looking up these places actually surprised me how far away from the current German border they are. But I'm 100% sure about Strzelce Opolskie and maybe 90% sure about Raciborz.

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2 months ago

Ahh, I see. Both - Strzelce Opolskie and Raciborz are actually much closer to the area where my parents moved when I was 2 or 3. Silesia region was indeed part of Germany for some time, that's why some older people here still talk in this 'weird dialect' you mentioned earlier. What a small world, hey?

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2 months ago

beautiful, i hope you continue

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3 months ago

Your story is so inspiring and beautiful :) Thank you for this wonderful article :)! Keep them coming :)!

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5 months ago

Thank you Stea. I have another one coming today 💙

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5 months ago

I'll definitely stop by :)

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5 months ago

I can see you are a strong woman, you are able to surpass those trials even from a young age❤️

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5 months ago

Thank you for stopping by and reading 💙

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5 months ago

Wow, you were a fighter, you are a fighter and you will keep being a fighter. Where was I when you posted this about you? Thank God I saw the link.

I've always wanted to know who this person is, and I'm glad to have read this. Reading this story is so touching.

I've read books on various people going through various ordeals in life before becoming who they really are today, I must say you've gone through a lot.

How about your brother, hope he came out clean too?

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6 months ago

Thank you so much for taking the time to find this Queen. I wrote this at the beginning of June, so maybe we didn’t know each other then? But you found it anyway, which is great!

It was meant to be just a story of my nickname, but I had to get into a little background story to explain it better and to show how it applied to my life. There is much much more, so I might write about it when it flows that way. I used to be ashamed about my past, but like you, there are many people who appreciate a good background story. My friends said I should write a book about it too, but for now it feels like a big project, so I’ll stick with articles for practice.

I really don’t wanna be a fighter anymore, it’s exhausting. Now I just sit in my meditation and attract things to me, rather than fighting for them 😅

My brother had a bit more complicated parts of his youth, but eventually he came ‘clean’ as you say. He now also lives in England with his family, but I don’t think he fully let go of the past. He carries a lot of bitterness, but nonetheless his life is much better now 💙

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6 months ago

Oh that sounds like a kinda difficult but fun life? 😅 I think I should check out that series too. Sounds like it's interesting to watch. I hope I can find a video with an English subtitle.

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6 months ago

It has been a bit of both, yes. Good luck with the series. I use to love watching it 💙

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6 months ago

Omg it's on YouTube. Haha. Will watch some now.

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6 months ago

Oh wow! I never even tried YouTube! I’ll watch next week too. Let me know if you liked it 💙

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6 months ago

So far so good! I am liking Fantaghiro the kid already! Haha.

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6 months ago

Haha! Good, I’m glad you’re enjoying it 💙

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6 months ago

I think I will make a review of it once I have finished everything. :)

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6 months ago

Great idea! I will read for sure 💙

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6 months ago

I felt sad about your parents, but your experience from orphanages to friends and etc honed you to become a better person, I can say that your nickname is so apt and perfect for the female version of fantaghero. Your story is amazing because you're a fighter and overcomer. Reminds me of the Queen's Gambit in netflix, I am imagining that set up from your story.

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6 months ago

Thank you for stopping by and reading my story. I have never watched Queen's Gambit. Will check it out 💙

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6 months ago

You can say that again. It was indeed a long read which I didn't even realize because I was busy enjoying the whole story lol You know I wanted to find out about the name Fantagira only for me to find out many more lol. But first, I would wanna ask why you are using "THE ONE" is it for privacy or security reason? I bet it is and it's okay lol.

Seriously you starting smoking? At that age? Though you didn't state exactly the age at the time you started smoking but I am thinking it was around 10-15? My estimation could be wrong anyway lol.

You know you got me laughing when you said that it was easier to lie and go free when there were no mobile phones then lol. And you aren't entirely wrong considering that a person can be easily contacted now with a phone to know what's going on or to easily pick the truth in most lies lol.

my inner donkey is not really evil, just stubborn.

I could have easily said that sounds way like me hahahhaha, but I remember someone warned me about telling people I was stubborn lol. Now, this was really a fun read and it doesn't matter if I get a medal or not for it lol. I was smiling all through. And I wouldn't have even known you promised a medal if I didn't get to the bottom lol.

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7 months ago

I don’t know why, but I get very excited when I see the long comments. I guess it’s because in order to write a long comment, someone must have read thoroughly and whatever I wrote must have touched them in one way or another. I love this feeling.

I am very happy you enjoyed reading this so much that you didn’t realise it was so long. That is the best complement a writer can hear. ‘The one’ hasn’t got much of a meaning. His name is Tomasz if I remember well and apart from this one summer holiday he never played a big role in my life. I guess I used ‘The one’ to build a bit of mystery around it all ; )

I was 13 when I started smoking. Yes, it was very early and only just over a year ago I stopped. Whether for good this time, I don’t know, as I stopped a few times before, but always came back.

It is true though, isn’t? In the past you’d stress about talking to your parents when you get home, but you’d have fun knowing they can’t reach you until then 😅 Although these days kids just turn off their phones when they don’t want to be contacted. I hear that from other parents.

See now you don’t need to say it’s you who’s stubborn, but the animal who lives inside you. The risk is that they might think you’re bonkers, but I’m fine with this 😅

Thank you for sticking to the end and I appreciate you taking time to leave this nice and long reply 💙

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7 months ago

Lol, I can understand because I feel the same. I am glad this gave you a great feeling. I hope to read more from you.

Yes, you are right about turning off phone these days when kids don't want to be disturbed by their parents lol. I was guilty of this until I learned better and stopped doing it. I understand they were worried about me but most times my mom especially wants me to get back home so I can continue the work that was lying and waiting for me lol. I understood her because I was the only girl at home, my only sister was away from home and the rest were boys lol.

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7 months ago

Hello dear friend, it is an incredible story that you share with us today, because you tell strong moments of your life and that indicates that little by little you overcame every sad memory you had, I was fascinated with what you tell us.

I find it curious that you felt better in a foster home than with your own parents and this leads me to think about how wrong some people are when they say that a child without parents for some time, will deviate from the path of good and end up bad, however today I am reading a great woman, who used the bad things that happened to her to grow, to move forward, to progress and be a better person, your wounds remind you that stopping is not an option.

All those experiences that you lived, forged your character and nice personality, without a doubt that nickname that they gave you goes very well with you, it fits you perfectly, because you fight for what you want, because you give the value to the things that deserve it, I am very glad that despite the obstacles of life, today you are in a better place, in a better position and have faced everything in the best way, the environment where you spent your adolescence, influenced much in what you are today, every experience was worth it, thanks for sharing this my dear friend, greetings.

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7 months ago

It took a long time for me to be able to talk about my past. I had always felt ashamed, as if any of this was my fault. Now I understand that it is nothing to be ashamed of and talking about this openly feel very healing for me.

I don’t think it’s unusual for a child to feel better in foster care/orphanage. Every child naturally wants to be with their parents, but parents often shouldn’t be parents, because they’re emotionally unstable and hurt their children physically and/or mentally. My friend has recently became a foster parent and the girl she’s looking after can not stay even 10 minutes when she takes her to see her parents. She gets really stressed and wants now avoids the contact at all cost. I can understand it well.

Thank you for taking time to read this article. The nickname seems to be very fitting, but after all these years I am tired of fighting. I just want some peace ☺️

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7 months ago

Wow, I understand perfectly, of course, one wants to be in a place where they make us feel good, where we feel safe, my respects friend, you are certainly a woman to admire, an example to follow, because such stories inspire, no doubt the constant wars tire, there comes a time where peace is as vital as water, however you will always be a warrior my dear friend, even if not in a battle, the simple fact of continuing to stand makes you a great warrior only one, greetings

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7 months ago

That’s such a beautiful thing to say. Thank you so much my friend 💙

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7 months ago

That was great to read my friend, your nickname was borned because of that and that was a treasure that one of the older guys give it to you. I am amazed of your story since you were child. I know your thoughts now are lighter and you are happy og somehow you share your hidden past. This is my first time I read your article but I was impressed. Your work are laid off as you can see by the bot upvote you.

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7 months ago

Thank you for stopping by and taking your time to read this. Rusty and I seem to be good friends now ;)

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7 months ago

hehe Yes I see it , I am writing but bot don't visit me, I am earning this because of my 3 nephew that their parents left them to work in other places in the Philippines. I know they are young when they are left but they keep saying me like daddy even I have no wife so that I am bringing them foods in them when I went home, I feel that they are my sons.haha

https://noise.cash/post/147znppw

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7 months ago

I see he's been visiting you regularly in the past. Maybe comments like this one above have something to do with less visits?

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7 months ago

Yes in the past and lately in the new post he not visit a lot and if he visit put 0.01$ haha but its ok I think its a challange I guess to me.

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7 months ago

Lovely introduction on your nickname. Now we know. So, your Italian friend is using Fantaghirò and not Fantagira?

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7 months ago

I think it’s the latter, but not 100% sure. I will ask her tomorrow.

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7 months ago

Hi Monica I read all your article. It was interesting and sad about your life but you are now strong woman.

$ 0.10
7 months ago

Thank you so much my daily visitor here and in noise.cash 💙

Your comments are sadly hidden Roman. I think your account received bad rating.

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7 months ago

Keep going and keep it up😊

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7 months ago

I enjoyed reading your article. And I appreciate the open way you tell about the difficult moments of your childhood. Without a doubt, you are a courageous woman who had known how to face circumstances and shine. I don't know if it was a coincidence or not. But I have the impression that your Nickname is perfect for you. And you've gained a reader here too ;)

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7 months ago

Thank you Eliana. I was utterly clueless, but at the same time extremely lucky to have met just the right people and read the right books that helped me face the challenges.

It’s lovely to have you as my reader 💙

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7 months ago

I did enjoy reading your article. You have a tough experience in your childhood. How I wish to be like you. Have the courage and strong personality. ☺️ You shared your childhood days smoothly short but deep,. I know you had endure a lot..

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7 months ago

Thank you for your kind words Zhyne. Nice seeing you in my corner for the first time and I appreciate time you took to read it. I wasn’t born strong, but I had to become strong for my mum and my brother. I’m sure you would too 💙

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7 months ago

Yes we are. We need to be strong for our love ones. ☺️🥰

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7 months ago

I can say I enjoyed reading this post and thank you for honouring us by sharing deep and hidden things we didn't know.

You went through a lot but you came out so beautifully. Your heart is kind and you are amazing. I wish I can go back to give you a much nicer background but see how you have beautifully evolved.

Yes, there are similarities in your nickname and you. Flower and Driver got me laughing hahahaha. Maybe you love drinking Fanta 🤣🤣😂🤣😂

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7 months ago

I’m happy to make you laugh my friend. Fanta is actually my least favourite drink 😅

If only this was so easy. Changing 1 thing could change everything - for better or worse. I wouldn’t be me.

I enjoyed writing this too. Many lovely memories came fo mind and made me smile. I ignored my timer and carried on writing till 2am though, so I must sleep now.

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7 months ago

Hahaha. What kind of drink do you like? I don't fancy Fanta too and I was hoping to make an exception if it was your favourite drink 🤣🤣😂🤣.

I hope you managed to sleep?

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7 months ago

Water is my favourite, but I do have occasionally diet coke or sprite/7 up.

I did, but I woke up early, then another late night and today I am exhausted. Early night it is!

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7 months ago

Hahaha, sorry about that. Try and sleep early then. You need all the strength you can muster.

Yes, I love water and Sprite/7 up is my thing too. Not much of a diet coke person though. At least, we have some things in common, yaaaay!

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7 months ago

I would be surprised if we didn’t! 💙

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7 months ago

Hahaha me too.

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7 months ago

Amazing reading my friend!!! Absolutely impossible to stop reading!!! You are a strong Warrior, that I already knew. But life made you walk on high roaps and you took it like a adventure, instead of playing a victim. Thank you for opening your soul with us 🥰❤️✨

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7 months ago

Adventure it was for sure Marisa! There was lots of fun intertwined with pain, which younger me just didn’t see as painful. Hence why relationships turn out similarly in my life. That’s my idea of love 💙

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7 months ago

So interesting story .. But am curious though. Did you finished your studies? You mentioned engineering.. Do you have a family now? For sure,, you are a strong woman molded by your past experiences.

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7 months ago

Hi Jane. Thank you for reading and asking these questions.

Yes, against everything and everyone I first finished banking and accountancy college (college is a requirement to go to the University in Poland), then did my Bachelor degree in Math with IT as a specialisation. I was living out of my parents house by then with my future husband. When I moved to England, by some weird incident a fell into engineering work and stayed.

I don’t have a family as such. I was planning one with my ex husband, but he started having an alcohol problem similarly to my dad and under no circumstances I wanted my children to go through what I did. I postponed family and divorced my husband.

Now I’m getting a bit too old for having my own children and there are plenty unwanted ones, so I started considering becoming a foster parent.

$ 0.05
7 months ago

Oh that's sad.. How old are you if you don't mind? Some still get pregnant at 30+.. But sometimes a woman need more rest to have that. But good thing you were able to get a degree despite of your childhood experiences..

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7 months ago

I just turned 39, but age is not the only reason why I decided against having my own children. I really don't think its sad. Society makes us think that having children and family is the only way to live a happy life, but it is not true in my opinion.

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7 months ago

Not true to me as well. I even want to remain single forever 🤣

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7 months ago

Hahaha 🤣 How old are you now Jane? I love being in relationships and I love being single. Both have their advantages and disadvantages 💙

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7 months ago

What a colorful childhood you have. Your childhood experiences makes you the strong woman you are now. Glad that you was not drag down by the system but instead came out of it strong and beautiful. The nickname suits you too. Now, where can I find that Italian series, The Cave of the Golden Rose.

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7 months ago

Thank you for your kind words Judith. Sometimes it’s just good to get the load off your back.

After reading about the series on Wiki while writing this article last night, I would also like to watch the series again. I’ll let you know if I find it anywhere 💙

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7 months ago

I am smiling while reading This.. it sounds that you have cool childhood memories despite of what happened to your parents.

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7 months ago

Thanks Angela, I was also smiling a lot while writing this. Many lovely, innocent memories.

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7 months ago

Wow! You had a tough childhood days! Kudos, my friend! You're one tough woman too!

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7 months ago

This is a very small part of my childhood. It’s the happier part 😉

Thank you for reading, it was a long one!

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7 months ago

It sounds a lot like my life. You're welcome, my friend!

$ 0.05
7 months ago

I will be definitely up for reading more about yours if you decide to write about it 💙

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7 months ago

awww. i'll try sometime. thank you.

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7 months ago