Shocking behaviour! I have, I have and I have…

Tuesday, 13th of July 2021

I know quite a few people are awaiting this one, I left it long enough! A few might be shocked too, but if you read me before, you know I’m too old to be bothered 😅

Only read if you are ready for this and above 18!

I checked a few lists of Never Have I Ever’s on the website @FarmGirl suggested. Some are rather boring and we don’t want bore our readers. I though a selection from a few categories will be best. After all, I enjoyed reading the ridiculous, naughty and funny stories the most. This article was one of my first favourites and actually got me to join the challenge. Let’s start!

Never have I ever texted something inappropriate to the wrong person.

Imagine I wouldn’t! It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t. I can’t remember all the details, so I won’t be making it up, but I managed to make it look as if it was for that person in the end.

Never have I ever tripped while walking in public.

I have! I have done it way too many times. Not only as a child, but in my adult life too. Only in the last 10 years I have curbed this embarrassing habit of mine’s with yoga and salsa dancing, which both improved my balance greatly.

Never have I ever mistaken someone for incorrect sex.

I did. Sometimes I do wonder whether someone is a male of a female, but I never let it out of my mouth. That would indeed be embarrassing if I got it all wrong.

Never have I ever forgotten something important I was going to bring (changing it to DO)

I changed the question, cause something popped in my head when I read this. I have once forgotten to go to the court! I requested this case myself, as it was to ask for an increase in alimonies my dad was paying through court back then. I new it was going to be the following day and when my mum came to visit and ask how it went, I realised I didn’t go! That was a major failure 🙈

Never have I ever made a personal adult video.

That I didn’t! I am adventurous, but I always cringe thinking of seeing myself in an intimate act. I’d probably only look at my fat belly anyway!

Never have I ever been naked with someone with the lights on.

Oh, come on! Where is the fun in doing it in the darkness? I wanna see and admire my partners body. Darkness is good for meditation and sleep.

Never have I ever had a one night stand.

Well, I did! Back when I was a teenager it was engraved in my brain that it was a bad thing to do. I’ve met my husband at the age of 16 and he was my only men for the next 15 years. But as I became yet again single in my early 30’s I first took 3 years to grieve and work on myself. First 1.5 years I spent in introspection. It was tough. Next 1.5 I spent having lots of fun! It all started when I went for a work training in Newcastle. Nobody knew me there and after the lectures at the Uni, together with my colleagues we went out for food and later clubbing. It’s a student town, so the drinks were 3 for the price of 1! There was 3 of us, so each one got a round and we were all very drunk and very happy. Next club we went to, my colleagues were very protective of me and guarded me from every men who wanted to approach me. Quite sweet really. But then there was a fight and we all got separated. It didn’t take long for the next youngster to approach me and well, in the morning I found out he was a virgin! I wouldn’t guess, seeing how the night went. He wanted to come and visit me in my city the following weekend, but I left not a trace of my existence, apart from wild memories.

Never have I ever kissed someone within first hour of meeting them.

What can I say? I did! Many times in fact. As I said, I’m the adventurous one and I did also kiss both sexes. Gotta try everything! Girls are much better kissers by the way. No offence.

Never have I ever cried so hard I started laughing.

Yes I have! But better when I laugh so much that I start crying. Belly laughing is so good for my non existing abs 🤣

Never have I ever used a dating app.

Of course I have. Who didn’t? Best for flexible relationships though. I wouldn’t go there to find a husband.

Never have I ever played a drunk game.

Oh, I’m so bad at these. I always lose and get really drunk! Sometimes I lose on purpose, so I can drunk first. Last time I did up, I ended up swimming in the sea at 3 in the morning and the walk back to hotel took us 30 mins instead of usual 10!

Never have I ever played spin the bottle.

I have. I was too young and too timid to enjoy it. It was horrible!

Never have I ever had a sexy encounter with a whipped cream.

I actually haven’t. I don’t fancy food on me at any time. Maybe I would go for body shots if I had opportunity, but so far I hadn’t.

Never have I ever bought an adult magazine.

I don’t think I have. I did watch some I found hidden by my brother.

Never have I ever let someone handcuff me to a bed.

I also haven’t. I remember we received a pair of handcuffs for one of our anniversaries with my ex husband, but we never had a bed with a frame to attach them to, so a boring no.

Never have I ever made out in a public place.

Oh I have! Too many times to admit it, but I have. My ex husband and I loved to explore everything there was to explore. And after my ex too. Yes.

Never have I ever had an office affair.

I have. Not once. At least twice in my career life. Office affairs are exciting, although dangerous. I guess that’s what makes them exciting. No more elaboration on that. I could write a book on each!

Never have I ever taken a nude photos of myself.

Really? Of course I have! My last relationship was long distance a lot of the time, so we had to keep things going somehow!

Never have I ever had a crash on a teacher.

Actually I haven’t. I guess I wasn’t lucky enough to have attractive teachers. I did have crash on a coworker. One was so embarrassing, as the he was so young and every time he walked to ask about anything, I would blush and couldn’t say anything. Seriously, I was already in my 30’s then and to get so embarrassed around a youngster was definitely a source of a lot of laughter for my other coworkers.

Never have I ever dated someone 10 years younger than me.

I have. Not intentionally though. He lied to me about his age and told me he was only 5 years younger. Not that it would stop me, but it could take a bit of hesitation before the second ‘date’. 10 years older? Yeah I did that too. Different ages, different benefits. Gotta try it all to decide what to settle for 😅

Never have I ever been in bed with more than one person.

Well, that was one of my fantasies. I had to try…

Never have I ever dated more than one person at the time.

Again. I have. Looks like there seriously isn’t much that I haven’t done. Most people experience their crazy time in their teenage years. Back then I was religious and thought that if I ever meet the right men, I will be forever happy with him. Well, reality showed me otherwise. It was great, until it wasn’t. He liked his bottle of vodka more than he liked me 😅 So my crazy times started in my early 30’s and seriously, this was the best time for it. I was however very open and honest about the sort of my relationships I have and that there are more of them. They was cool and I was too.

Never have I ever received a lap dance.

I have and I have given some too. I told you - I have crazy friends and obviously I’m a little crazy too or else I wouldn’t get on with them. We have exchanged lap dances many times. These were fun times!

Never have I ever stayed friends with my ex.

In fact I have. I am still friends with most of my ex’s, except for those who couldn’t see me anymore because they wanted me back 😅 I don’t tend to step into the same river twice. I’m a quick study!

So here. I laid it all out for you. I made the deal with myself, that if opportunity present itself, I say yes at least once to see if that’s my thing. Not everything is my thing. But I sure tried a lot!

Until next time 💙

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